"The Last Messenger"

Against my better judgment, I'll be starting another fanfic, which will be set in the the Dragon Age universe. I've been thinking about writing a dark/sad story within that setting for awhile, mostly because I've been hyped up on the game again, and I'll likely be riding said hype well into the near future.

I'm still unsure if I'll be able to get it fleshed out, so it'll probably be a short one depending. Still thinking about how I can have it collide with the main plot of the game without being too gimmicky. It also gives me something to do during those times when I can't be bothered to write for my original novel, which is well on its way to 100,000 words now.

Working on Chapter One for the fanfic currently, but there's no telling how quickly I'll get it finished. Want to tweak the plot a bit before I get too far into it.

But for anyone who's interested, it can be found heeeere: LINK

Bioware's Countdown

I hate the countdowns the video game industry have used repeatedly to drum up hype for things that just end up disappointing people. When I heard that Bioware threw one up across their various websites, I sighed.

I sighed because I'm such a big fan of Bioware that this actually excites me. But what could it possibly be? The various sites bill it as a "Countdown to an epic Bioware community event." Not sure what that could mean. I don't even have any guesses.

At first, I thought it was going to be an announcement for some new game or DLC, but the community wouldn't have anything to do with that. Could it?

As I write this, the clock has 5 hours and 14 minutes remaining. So, by the time I wake up for school tomorrow, this thing will be done and I will either be shocked or crestfallen by the time my archaeology class rolls around. Bioware have done a lot lately to make me think that it's expanding toward horizons of...awesome? But so far they've only been awesome within the confines of what they've always done.

Mass Effect 2 = Awesome
Dragon Age: Origins = Double Awesome/Top 10 Most Favorite Games
ME 2 DLC = Meh
DA:O DLC = Meh
DA:O - Awakening = Good, but no point/Possible Cash Grab

Only time will tell what Bioware has in store for its fans in 5 hours. Hopefully it's not more disappointment.

EDIT (AFTER COUNTDOWN):

(Click To Enlarge)

Personal Goals and Dragon Age

2005 was a crazy year for me. I think it'll always be thought of as my personal Renaissance; so many things changed, and things I thought up during this time are still having a clear effect on my life.

One of the two stories that I started conceptualizing during that time (the other being the recently-completed Revan's Shadow) has only within the past year been taking true form. Like RS, I tried to start writing it dozens of times. Typically, it was scrapped within the first chapter. I never realized it then, but revenge stories, by definition, aren't very deep. Unless you're Park Chan-wook or Quentin Tarantino, it's very difficult to make them work and, for that matter, make them work well.

So toward the end of last year, I just stopped trying to make a bloody, action-driven revenge story and tried to make it real. Not only that, but I put more of myself into this story than any other that has come before it. It's my most honest work yet. Needless to say, it got beyond the first chapter this time. In fact, I just crossed the 90,000 word mark, officially making it novel-length. And it's nowhere near completed, which is interesting.

I'm excited to see how the story will turn out, and if my dueling storylines will sync up with each other properly, which is what I'm most worried about.

In other shamelessly self-indulgent news, my review for Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening is the most helpful review for the game on Amazon, which is also interesting. Even now, I'm still waffling on my opinion, since I really did like this..."expansion." I just hate that it cost $40 when it really didn't need to, which just touches on video game pricing which is a whole other argument for a whole other day.

And just a quick blurb on The Book Depository, which I first found out about on The Speculative Scotsman's humble blog: I ordered Matt Stover's Traitor for the low, low price of $5, and since everything on their site has free shipping, I got a pretty good deal. Now comes the waiting, which is always painful. In the meantime, I think I'll ponder why an American like myself was instantly wary of ordering from a place called "The Book Depository."

dot dot dot...

Film review: 'Alice in Wonderland'

We seem to be doing a lot of reviews lately.

I think reviews are just fun! It's great to gloat about other people's mistakes!

So today - the new Tim Burton movie! The man who brought you 'Beetle Juice', 'Edward Scissorhands', 'Batman' and 'Ed Wood'... and then lost his mind and made 'Planet of the Apes' (the remake), 'Corpse Bride' and 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' (the remake).

I should like to state publically that he did NOT direct 'The Nightmare Before Christmas', contrary to popular belief!




Here are two stanzas from the poem 'Jabberwocky' from Through the Looking Glass.


One, two! One, two! and through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy


I love that poem! And I rather like Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. And I like the Disney certoon, too! Now there is a live action/CGI sequel / remake, by Tim Burton.
Believe it or not I went into the new movie wanting to like it - I'd heard bad reviews but the premise sounded original and exciting.

In this curious sequel to the classic stories Alice returns, 13 years later, to Underland - she misheard the name last time - only to discover a war (Well, a planned battle... I guess) between the Red and White Queens (and the three or four speaking parts each has allied to them). The war can only be won if the chosen hero Alice (the little girl who briefly visited the region twice, 13 years previous) slays the Jabberwocky in the White Queen's name (she can't slay it herself because she has a code against killing, and no-one else can do it because they don't look enough like the hero in the original illustration.)

If you remove the parts in brackets, it sounds great, right? First off, the Jabberwock was already slain, and secondly, by a man. In a poem. Why exactly is the monster now alive and well and working for the Red Queen? Why does Alice need to kill it? Why does killing it instantly end the war? Why does it speak now?

I think what annoys me the most is the way things were mis-represented... here the Cheshire cat has a name - 'Cheshire'. That just doesn't seem right. The hatter is more eccentric than 'mad', and is a sympathetic, heroic lead character. At one point he throws a hat pin like a ninja death star. At another point he dances superbly to a really modern, funky tune, spinning his head fully around like Linda Blair (by far the low point of the film.) And he looks like this:




It just... isn't the hatter. It looks a whole lot like Edward Scissorhands! But I just don't see the hatter with bright orange hair and matching eye make-up.

It's an interesting character, but he doesn't seem to fit into 'Alice in Wonderland'! The movie isn't even particularly dark, so what on Earth is the idea of this design?




A lot of stuff is wrong here... it's as if Burton wanted to include all his favourite characters and lines, but didn't know how to fit them into his 'rebel war' plot.

It feels odd to be criticising Johnny Depp's character... although his performance is... y'know, okay... but I just can't fathom why he looks like that, or why he's a key part of a reistance movement against the Red Queen! Or why he speaks to Alice as if they were old friends. I don't remember them spending a great deal of time together, or even getting on! By the end of this movie there is a sad farewell between the two and even (unless I was imagining it) a hint of romance.

The Red Queen is also a big part of the film, but that actually seems to fit. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed the character. However, I rather suspect that the only reason she and the hatter are our main characters is that... they most closely resemble Helena Bonham Carter and Johnny Depp.

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And the reason I included the 'Jabberwocky' passage earlier:

In the movie, the poem is taken as a prophecy about how Alice (once again... the slayer in the poem is male!!) must kill the beast, using the 'vorpal blade' and on the 'frabjous day' i.e. the day of destiny when all will be decided.

This is the best example I could find of what I said earlier: that Burton seems to have misrepresented or misunderstood his source material, so that it no longer makes sense. The term 'frabjous day' isn't the name of a calendar date - it's just a description of the day. 'Frabjous' presumably means 'fabulous' and 'joyous'. It kills me to see the lines of this perfect poem clumsily twisted to fit a disappointing movie's plot. At one point near the end, Johnny Depp gravely announces that 'the Frabjous Day is upon us', as if it means the end of the bloody world. That's so very different to what Lewis Carrol meant by 'O frabjous day!'. And it's not some new twist on the poem - it's just a clumsy repurposing.

As for 'vorpal blade'... well, I can maaaaaybe convince myself that's the name of the sword and not a description of it. After all the word is used twice. And because of things like 'American McGee's Alice' we've already decided that 'The Vorpal Blade' is actually the name of the sword. But there is no excuse for 'the frabjous day'.

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There were some wonderful concepts and moments in this. I love the idea of it being called 'Underland' for instance, and the battle with the Jabberwock was actually pretty exhilerating! (Even if it was flanked by completely butchered versions of the 'playing cards' and 'chess board' themes from the books.)
And I also rather like the idea of Wonderland staging an epic war and a grown-up Alice becoming its saviour and thus, learning about herself and gaining strength. It was kind of like 'Labyrinth'! And man, I love 'Labyrinth'!

And with a premise like that, this movie could have been fantastic. It just annoyed me how so many old characters, lines and even plot devices from the original books were just re-used... poorly. With orange eye make-up.

And I know it's Tim Burton, but I really thought there was too much CGI in this movie. Alice and Anne Hathaway were the only things in the movie that didn't look like cartoon characters.

What else can I whine about? The acting was mostly drab - some lines were very obviously given the wrong emphasis. Johnny Depp kept showing off his Scottish accent for no aparent reason. The scenes before Alice re-discovered Wonderland were very, very cliched, over the top and lazy. What the hell was that Hamish fella doing with his face? I wanted to take the actor to one side and slap him. Matt Lucas was very annoying.

Oh! And there were a whole lot of 'Aggressive Negotiations' - that irritating Hollywood tradition of having lines from earlier return later in the film with greater significance. Cheap as it is, I don't mind one or two of these in a film, but this one was taking it too far. 'Avatar' has tons of that as well, by the way.

Throughout I had to keep reassuring myself by saying, 'It's a kids' movie. Kids will love that bit. I'm not the intended audience'. And despite my very negative attitude here, the movie was okay. But with a little tweaking - a more cohesive, fresh plot, less green-screen, maybe even an original title (Return to Wonderland? Alice in Underland?) - this one could have been so good!

5/10



I also saw 'I Love You Phillip Morris', and it was great!

Review: Mass Effect 2: Firewalker DLC

I still maintain that the MAKO and everything Bioware designed around it were the Achilles Heel of the first Mass Effect. I despised driving that thing, and the six-wheeled bastard still managed to somehow pop up just about everywhere like a sci-fi version of Herbie. It was the worst possible sight when after plodding through Noveria, finally managing to get the garage key, I find the thing parked in there, waiting...mocking me.

So I can say with no undue enthusiasm that I relished the sight of a totaled MAKO amongst the wreckage of the Normandy SR-1 in Mass Effect 2. In fact, I flew all the way back to Omega just to do a little dance in celebration (lies). I'm just glad Bioware saw reason, but when I heard that they were going to attempt to add in more vehicle levels, I began to second guess that thought: perhaps they didn't see enough reason...perhaps.

To those of us who bought ME2 new, this package will likely be the last bit of free content to be delivered through the Cerberus Network. It was a fun ride while it lasted, though I'm not sure if anything we received was all that great. I have yet to keep any of the armor or weapons provided on any of my characters, since it all kinda sucks. And the non-interchangeable DLC armor upgrades are still a slight problem.

Anyway, yeah, the Firewalker DLC. I'm typically not one to look a gift hovercraft in the mouth, but I would have deemed this whole package passable if I had shelled out money for it. Still, I'll be damned if that little hovercraft doesn't handle like a dream and is actually fun to fly around, but we have to remember that this is a very isolated set of missions (four missions, I believe). There are no dialogue options here, no great rewards other than some minerals and credits, and your party members will have a grand total of three lines of dialogue (give or take one), all of which are more than likely stock lines to fit any situation. "Let's get out of here!" and shit like that.

There is a bit of a story, but I'm not sure what it could possibly mean. It certainly doesn't have any bearing on this game. Rest assured, you get a few "thank you" letters in your inbox.

To give credit where credit is due, Bioware have redeemed the MAKO with these missions. So much so, in fact, that I wanted to play around with it even more! But after those four missions, you're done. A shame, that: because this whole thing seems too little too late to have any sort of relevance to the overall game. Hopefully we see the return of the Firewalker in ME3, but here it means little more than an hour of killed time, a few minerals, and a demo of what could be a great game mechanic in the future.

R.I.P. MAKO, you will not be missed. >=)

The Day Hitler Reformed American Healthcare

It was a day that I never thought would come during this presidency, or at anytime this decade - and it's only been a little over two days since it happened. The Senate healthcare bill passed the House, bringing it to President Obama's desk and his 22 pens with which to sign it into law. Depending on who you are, this was either a truly historic moment, or will forever be remembered as the day we traded in democracy for communism.

Me? I'm fairly satisfied. I know from firsthand experience that we needed reform of some kind. Was this bill everything that I had hoped for? Certainly not, but it's a damn good start. Having that proverbial "foot in the door" can only mean good things in the future. When the crazies of the teabagger movement come to realize that the world didn't end, that Hitler didn't rise from the grave to march his Nazi zombies across the country to steal America's guns and bibles...well, yeah. I can imagine that everything will get better after that.

I have a bit more research to do. There's a few things in the bill that I'm confused about. Such as this bit that kicks in...in 2014 that requires everyone to have health insurance. Not sure if that means that they'll be forced to buy it, or if the government will be forced to give it. Interesting. But other than that, there's much to like about this bill.

See, even though I have a job, it doesn't provide health insurance, and with me being 21 years old I would have had less than two years to find another job with benefits before I was kicked off my parents plan. Now, starting this August, I'll be covered until I turn 26. I certainly plan on having a better job by then, but that's certainly a load off my mind, especially with the economy in my town being the way it is. It provides a comfortable buffer, in short.

But only time will tell just how effective this will be, and how the American people will behave when the 2010 midterms come along. The Republicans have been throwing around a lot of poll numbers lately (sometimes without showing polls) that seem to communicate that America didn't want this, even though I'm fairly certain at least one did: Me! and Matt Stover, it seems.

I actually would have felt more comfortable if Obama had succeeded in creating a bipartisan bill. He didn't, and couldn't. But certainly not for lack of trying. In the end, we actually got the most partisan result we could possibly get, with not one Republican voting for this thing. If they had actually tried to make concise arguments against this bill instead of going on the attack like a calculated smear campaign, then maybe I would have questioned this end result. But they didn't, so I'm not.

Review: Mass Effect 2

It's a late but thorough review of Mass Effect 2!

(There will be lots of spoilers.)


I'm not a very smart man, and there is little I excel at, but - Mass Effect 2 is something I'm extremely knowlegable on. And after playing it through twice, deliberately varying the games as much as possible, I have a lot to say.

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Now, I love this game. This blog is named after it, and it's almost all I talk about, even now. But I'm going to focus on the faults.

The professional reviews I've read rated the game extremely highly (awarding it 9's and near 10's) but I think everybody but me missed the following five big problems.

I think a lot of these are only 'problems' to people like me - big fans, who adored the original. And who are picky. But they spoiled the experience for me, so here they are.

1) Not enough inventory, too many guns.

This is the big one. Whereas Mass Effect was a 'shooter-RPG' which had difficulty drawing the line between the two genres, the sequel decides right from the start that it's more shooter. Way more shooter.

This time there is no inventory, levelling up is easy, quick and simplistic, and every single quest - EVERY single quest is solved by shooting a bunch of people with the new Gears of War-style combat. The quests are fascinating and well-written, but they always boil down to hiding behind boxes and shooting people. The worlds are small - quests are more like levels - albeit levels with a lot of interactive dialogue. And when the level is done, you get a 'level complete' screen and you return to the home base. No exploring, no looting, very few sidequests.

It's a genre change, not a fault. But I dislike it. What makes Bioware RPGs so fantastic is their seamless mix of dramatic, personalised story and fun gameplay. Here that divide is skewed much more than I like. I get the impression this is an attempt to sell more copies - everyone loves shooters, right? And that annoys me.

2) We Were On A Break... in space.

There is an issue with the 'romance quests' in the first game - in Mass Effect (as in most Bioware titles) you're able to fall in love and persue a relationship with certain members of your party. Mass Effect 2 - a direct sequel - begins with a huge explosion and then a '2 years later' tag. So naturally I was assuming my old squeezes would be dead and I could romance one of the many, many new characters with a thing for the protagonist. No worries.

The problem is that all three possible lovers survive, even going so far as not-quite-dumping-you when you are (finally) reunited. So if you played ME1 and you persue a romance quest in the sequel, you're pretty much cheating on your boy/girlfriend. It's just clumsy and confusing, and out of character for everyone involved. And it could have been fixed so damn easily!

It's possible that the writers have something planned for these characters and love affairs in the final part of the planned trilogy. We will see.

3) Probe away.

The 'scanning minerals' mini-game is abominable. Bioware have a history of bad mini-games, but this one really is awful.

4) Achievement unlocked: Kinda.

The plot, no matter how hard I try, didn't grip me. The first game introduced an incredible, rich new SF world, allowed you to become a secret agent, command a battleship, fall in love and save all life in the galaxy from complete destruction.

The sequel's plot consists of stopping the evil aliens who are kidnapping human colonists. There's little in the way of investigation: we know immediately who did it, and how to reach them. So you spend the next 40 hours building a team to stop them, then you take that team to their dungeon, and an hour or so later you're done. You didn't really rescue anyone, but you stalled the enemy a bit, and you've prevented further humans from being killed. As excellent as the writing is, this just doesn't feel suitably epic for Commander Shepard.

The plot is on a much smaller scale. Again, this isn't necessarily a flaw - it's not bad writing, it's just hard to care about 'slowly gathering a team and briefly avenging some dead people' when last time I was saving the world with my beloved at my side.

5) The character death issue.

Depending on seemingly-insignificant and unrelated decisions you make throughout (and especially in the endgame) - members of your party can be killed - permenantly - at the game's climax. This suceeds in making you pay attention to the characters and your governing of them - and certainly makes the endgame extremely tense - but for the wrong reasons. I lost my favourite character for the simple reason that I picked a soldier instead of a veteran soldier to lead his team. And I only figured out what I did wrong by scouring walkthroughs online for hours. It just ruined the ending for me - 'We won! But... this guy is dead because I made a tiny error in judgement... yay...'

Similarly, a large number of my crew died because of another random, unrelated error - which my crewmen strongly encouraged me to make!
This concept of your people's lives being in genuine danger could have been a wonderful device - but all it did was irritate me and break my immersion in the story.

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Those are the noteworthy flaws, right there. Just five, but each one was such a blow to me, considering how good every other aspect of this game is.

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Small-scale and episodic as it may be, the plot is magnificent. This has to be the best-written videogame I've ever played, and the voice-acting is even better. I haven't found ANY bad acting in this - not one line - and this is two discs' worth of acting. Even Mark Meer (who plays the male lead in both games, and whose earlier performance seemed flat and unimpressive) does beautifully here - he has really made the character his own, and this improves the experience a great deal.

The new plot doesn't just give us 'more of the same' but takes daring leaps, bringing big plot twists, entirely new sapient species (only one of which is Baraka), new enemies and very different allies. Shepard's standing in the galaxy has drastically changed, and you're visiting very different places this time.
Some of the short quests were incredibly engaging, one or two were powerfully emotional, and absolutel every one was memorable and unique.

A lot of games claim to have 'Hollywood-movie-quality writing and acting' - this exceeds most movies on both counts.

The voice cast, incidentally, includes some proper, profesional actors (including Martin Sheen of all people, and Seth Green performing miiiiiles better than he does in the movies.) This trend seems to be growing, but you know Bioware were always doing it! They even had Nathan gorram Fillion once.
Now they're allowed to get the likes of Sheen - and it seems to have made every other actor involved up his or her game.


The biggest complaint I had about the original Mass Effect was the fact that the 'paragon and renegade' (i.e. good and evil) choices were poorly balanced: whilst the paragon Shepard came off as a brave political idealist (I loved this version of the character) the renegade seemed like a foolish, near-sighted schoolyard bully. Saving the day by making silly threats and commiting petty crimes.
In the sequel, this has been addressed perfectly - and I actually enjoyed the renegade Shepard a little more! Now s/he genuinely is a 'renegade' - a tough, hard-hearted bastard, selfish and maybe even kinda racist, but one who gets superior results by sacrificing heroism. It works like they clearly intended it to in the original.

For all my complaints about the Gears of War-style combat taking centre stage - that combat is very good fun. A lot better than the first game, where fighting got old fast. Now there are more weapons, ammo, all sorts that keep the endless third-person gunplay very fresh and exciting.

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Mass Effect 2 is a brillaint game, and a milestone for story and writing in the medium. It's just a shame it's not the masterpiece it could have been with a few better decisions.

Before it came out, I was very doubtful. I heard about the changes / flaws I detailed above, and saw the new characters, and decided I would hate them all. (There's a tank character named 'Grunt'? Evil characters have red eyes? Garrus is a love interest? Garus Vakarian? And what the hell is a space hamster?!)

But like Garrus and the hamster, the game forced me to love it through sheer cuteness and effort. Mass Effect 2 defied my curmudgeonly determination not to have a good time, beating back every criticism mightily, if not quite destroying them all.

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There's more combat than role playing, but both of those elements are hugely improved.

There's a couple of issues with continuity that make the story and the world fiddly and inaccessible - but when you try to figure them out you accidentally unlock the details of a brilliant sci-fi saga.

The mineral-scanning is awful, but it's worthwhile.

The plot is more like a series of episodes than the epic adventure of the original - but every one of those episodes is a work of art.

And the ending... is kinda disappointing. But everything that comes before it surpasses expectations.

Plus - this is the second act in a trilogy. I suspect the third one will end better!

Bioware, and lead writer Drew 'The Karp' Karpyshyn, will have a very tough job: making the plot more satisfying than that of Mass Effect, and making the game more fun than Mass Effect 2.

8/10

Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening: "The Final Verdict"

With just under 14 hours of gameplay behind me, I have completed Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening. What did I think of it?

Well, honestly, at this point I'm a bit conflicted. On the one hand, I absolutely enjoyed the story and I REALLY enjoyed the new characters. I was able to get gear and talents that actually reflected the character I was role-playing as. (Now, my assassin is actually wearing black instead of Link's green Hyrulian tunic -.-) But! $40, to me, just seems way too expensive for what we're being given here. If it had been, say, $25 then I would have been completely satisfied.

I think what threw me off is that this is being called an "expansion." This is not an expansion. This is an episode. You are not able to go back to Ferelden. Most of your decisions and, in some cases, your gear is not transferred over. And, unless you ended up as the commander of the King/Queen's army in the main game, your ending will not transfer over. For instance, I ended the game telling everyone that I was leaving with Zevran to track down Morrigan; a nice, romantic ending that ensured I'd be continuing my adventures. But no matter what, you will start Awakening as a commander of the army, which was lame.

So this begs the question: How is this an expansion if it's hardly expanding upon anything? I don't know. Bioware thought so, and so here we are.

But this is a fun game regardless of what it really is. There is much to be enjoyed here but it seems like, for the first time, Bioware really flat-out embellished what this really was. And that's what really sucks.

Pros:

+ Great Story
+ Memorable and Entertaining Characters
+ Love the new gear and weapons
+ A place to store your inventory! Finally!
+ Get to rule a nation

Cons:

- Production values still last-generation
- Pricing not justified
- Seems very disconnected from the last game, despite being an expansion

The full, slightly-scathing review can be found here: LINK

Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening: "The First Ten Hours

If there's one thing that can be said for Dragon Age: Origins, it's that its graphics aren't up to par with the current generation. This is probably how we've gotten this expansion, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening, so quickly; the game is easily thrown together. But if what I've played is any indication, I wouldn't mind an expansion every six months. This game is marvelous.

The expansion picks up a short time after the main game left off. You are now the Warden-Commander of the Ferelden army. The Crown has sent you to the Arling of Amaranthine to oversee the beginning stages of a Grey Warden-ruled countryside where the now-deceased Arl Howe (see: Tim Curry) used to be in control. But as soon as you arrive, something is amiss. The darkspawn haven't retreated back underground like the entire plot of the last game insinuated they would. Now, in fact, they are more organized than ever. It sucks to be you.

I'm about ten hours into it right now, and I've seen no indication that it could be ending anytime soon. There is so much to do here, and I'm almost happy to do all of it. The new party members are a joy, comparable to those of the main game. The storyline is more believable, if I might use that word to describe a fantasy setting. It's a bit darker, more cohesive, more confidently-written.

It also seems that Bioware took a page out of Assassin Creed II's playbook and have literally given you a small country to rule over. Everyone in Amarantine answers to you, and to you alone. You will solve disputes over land, family feuds, military deployment, defense...it's all up to you. This expansion does a fine job making you feel LIKE A BAWSS! In this sense, it also seems that Bioware have been looking to their own Mass Effect 2 for guidance, since there is a threat on the horizon that will do some major damage if you aren't properly prepared. So, take no quest for granted, and do your best to keep everyone in line for when that time comes: or else. Or else what? Exactly.

There are other small improvements that make a really big difference (see what I did there?), such as an increased level cap, more unique weapons and armor, more specializations AND talents, the ability to runecraft, and so on. I didn't know how much I wanted these things until I had them. And, last but not least, a chest where you can store your items. Yes! Equipment management is made that much easier by this alone! Gah!

My grievances with the game are the same as what they were before. I don't so much mind the graphics, but the lack of significant detail here compared to say...Oblivion, really makes me aware that I'm playing a game at times. Add this to the ever-present loading screens, the inability to walk over some hills, the detached and sometimes reused zones, and it feels like I'm playing a series of stages akin to Super Mario or some such, certainly not fantasy-adventure. It doesn't feel like I'm adventuring anywhere.

That's what I like about Bethesda's games. The loading screens are few, the worlds are vast, and there's a slight chance that you can get lost. And that's the whole point of traveling and exploring, isn't it?

All that aside, I really am enjoying this expansion. It honestly doesn't even feel like an expansion; it feels like a sequel. Time will tell how I'll really feel once this comes to an end, but I'm loving how my story is continuing on so seamlessly within the context of this world and lore. I'll be posting a full review as soon as I finish it.

'Life of Pi' and muttering

I haven't been writing much lately - and hardly at all here on the blog.

I've had a lot of hours at work, and been busy with other, secretive things and applying to University.

I just recieved official confirmation of my application through the post. With any luck, and a successful interview, and a succefful application for a loan, I will be studying English and Creative Writing in September!

Assuming I will get in... I've ordered a stack of books, so I can be a little more 'well-read' by the time it starts. There are some classics in there, some modern hits that I think I 'ought' to have read, and some that randomly took my fancy (and some indulgences, i.e. Mass Effect.)

I want to get a good chunk of them read before the end of summer. I'm picturing a summer of working hard, saving money, and reading in parks, beneath trees! I even bought a nice cushion so I can read in bed. That's commitment!

Anyway, this is a huge deal for me. Finally getting a worthwhile occupation (well, kind of?) and in three years a good qualification. And it's in a subject I really, completely love, so I think these three years will be a lot of fun. I will post updates to this.

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Also I just finished reading 'Life of Pi' by Yann Martel. It won the Booker Prize in 2003, and came highly recommended by a friend, who I've often disagreed with in the past. But I absolutely loved it.

It is, essentially, an ordinary castaway story, focusing on one single character. But that character is so beautifully written and realistic and so interesting to read, and there is a unique spin on the story in the form of a Royal Begal tiger (and a giraffe and a hyena, and an orangutan) that share the lifeboat with him. And there are some surprises at the end... well I certainly didn't see them coming... which are just wonderful. I read the last few chapters with my mouth wide open, willing my brain to process the words faster so I could find out more.

There isn't a great deal of plot here - it's a book about Pi himself, and more quietly about religious faith vs scientific 'reason'. I love character studies, and well-rounded, deep, interesting voices. This is full of that. And the deepening layers of fictional 'narration' passing themselves of as fact work to suck you in and make you believe in Pi all the more.

Here is a wonderful passage from the book:

I can well imagine an atheist's last words: "White, white! L-L-Love! My God!" - and the deathbed leap of faith. Whereas the agnostic, if he stays true to his reasonable self, if he stays beholden to dry, yeastless factuality, might try to explain the warm light bathing him by saying, "Possibly a f-f-failing oxygenation of the b-b-brain," and to the very end, lack imagination and miss the better story.

KotOR Replay: Part Two: "Maybe next time, shlummie!"

I find it flattering that Carth Onasi decided to wait for me, even though I was the last crewman on board. He tells me that he's been keeping an eye on me through the ship's sensor, which he uses to help me defeat a contingent of Sith troopers. Why he didn't think to use those sensors to warn Trask of the Dark Jedi behind that door, I'll probably never know. But he did the same thing I would have done in his position.

Let's face it, Trask belongs in that Special Hell that Shepherd Book talked about.

We make it to the surface of Taris and Carth starts to lay out the situation. I start to remember why I love this man so much. It's clear that Raphael Sbarge took this role very seriously, and I've yet to hear any video game voice actor come even remotely close to matching what he did here with Carth. He has such a broad range here, it's amazing.

I also have to point out the music that plays in the abandoned apartment. This song conjures so many emotions it would be difficult to list them all. The apartment is where I first discovered how in depth the dialogue options can be, and it awestruck me. Have that song downloaded on my computer and I play it way more often than I should.

Anyway, I start making my way through Taris with Carth in tow. This city could have benefited from a few landmarks, because even now on my fifth or sixth playthrough I still get turned around here. Way too much blue, and all the doors and buildings look alike. But, to be honest, this wasn't a habit that Bioware shook off until Mass Effect 2.

I talk to the doctor, pick up the rakghoul serum quest, and immediately go to the next apartment complex to get me some Sith uniforms. The soldier guarding the Lower City elevator doesn't seem to notice that even though I'm disguised as one of them, Carth, however, is not. He more or less waves as we pass him by.

At the bottom of the lift, I clear out all the baddies in the next apartment complex to get my level up again. At the Lower City Cantina, I witness the stout awesomeness of Calo Nord. As Mister Buch has pointed out, he's the perfect killing machine: able to lure his victims in with humor before he guns them down. I always have to push my luck, and keep talking to him until he counts down to "Two." When he gets there, I back off.

"Smart."

Meet up with Mission Vao and Zaalbar for the first time. I still think it odd that Bioware decided to pair me and Carth up with an underaged member of a race universally seen as purveyors of sex.



I go about my business, take out a few more Black Vulkars, then return to the Upper City once I remember that I haven't bought that pazaak deck from that old guy. I loves me some pazaak. It's like a cool man's version of blackjack.

After visiting the Hidden Bek base and getting chewed out by Gadon's bodyguard, I head down to the Undercity to look for Mission, who I had just parted ways with. Jeeze.

Ride the lift down and I am accosted by a couple of beggars. I make threats I was perfectly willing to act on, and they go running.

"RUN, BROTHER! FLEEEE THIS ONE'S WRATH!"

So, This Is What Miranda Has Been Up To Lately?

I've been hooked on the Travel Channel lately. Don't ask me why, but pretty much every show that airs there seems like it was tailor-made to fit my interests. Mostly, I watch Man v. Food and lament over being stuck in the most culinary retarded city in The States. But they recently started airing another show called Food Wars, in which rival hometown restaurants compete for the arbitrary title of Best in the City...or some such.

It's not all that interesting, actually. But what WAS interesting was the hostess of the show. I kept looking at her, thinking I had seen her some place. Hmmmmm.





I mean, am I right?!

Photo from LINK

KotOR Replay: Part One: "Damn, we could have used her help!"

After finishing up my KotOR fanfic, and talking to Mister Buch about all the great memories we created back on the Ebon Hawk, I decided I was going to do play Knights of the Old Republic for the first time in yeaaars.

I first tried to play the game on my Xbox 360, but the emulation for it was FUBAR. The frame rate skipped around incessantly. The sound cut out. The menus wouldn't react sometimes. It was terrible, and I didn't want it to put a damper on the experience. So, I pulled down my little "Box of Forgotten Dreams" from my closet. It was caked in dust and got me sneezing immediately. Inside I found my:

-Seeega Dreamcaaaast. Bought it brand new at the tail-end of Sega's bankruptcy period for just over $60. Was only able to get a few games for it. Sonic Adventure, Crazy Taxi, NFL Blitz, and Tomb Raider. Wish I had been able to get more. One of my few regrets.

-Sony Playstation. No, not the PS-One; the giant one that looks like a weight scale. I still have the only games I ever played on it up on my shelf: Final Fantasy VII, Legend of Dragoon, Mega Man Legends, and Mega Man X4. Used to own a mod kit for it so I could play the Japanese version of Dragonball GT: Final Bout and DBZ: Ultimate Battle 22, back when getting the American versions required either a lot of money or a lot of misplaced hope.

-Nintendo Gamecube. The decline of Nintendo, in my mind, began with this console and it still hasn't ended. Not even with the Wii. The high-points in its many years on the market were few. Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker, TimeSplitters 2, and Resident Evil 4 were the only games that really defined that console to me.

At this point, you're probably wondering why I'm talking about these consoles and not KotOR. Well, that's because I played it just before bed and couldn't even make it to the escape pod before I fell asleep. Short Answer: Shut up, that's why. (jk! xD)

Finally pulled out the old Xbox, get it all hooked up, pressed the power button and it roared to life (quite literally, actually. I had forgotten how loud this beast could get). Pop in my old KotOR disc and boot up the game. It runs perfectly. Having my old controller back in my hands, hearing the Xbox whine and the main menu theme play...it was magical.

Checked my old saves and remembered that the goddamned Yavin DLC corrupted my first few playthroughs. All that remained was a file where I got as far as Taris, and my ex-girlfriend's file...harumph.

The game begins. I'm standing in my quarters on the Endar Spire after a rude awakening. Trask Ulgo bursts in and speaks in the lamest tone of voice I've ever heard in a game since the original Resident Evil. (Jill sandwich, anyone?) He tells me to get dressed, watches me as I do so, and starts ordering me to do practically everything.

"Save Bastila!"

"Unlock that door!"

"Now tell me to unlock that door! But say it in a sexy baritone...No! No time for that, man. But seriously--baritone..."

We unlock our way into the middle of a group of Sith. There are some Republic solders fighting them off, but Trask waits until our allies are dead before shouting "FOR THE REPUBLIC" like an idiot. He risks his life to save me, but won't help his own buddies when the odds are in his favor. Bastard. Anyway, I beat the Sith down with my little vibroblade and we move on.

Trask and I fight off a couple more Sith before we find ourselves in another crossfire. Once again, Trask opts to watch his fellow soldiers die before leading the charge. Bastard.

Next room over, we find a Jedi and a dark Jedi fighting it out. Once...again...Trask decided that we should watch them kill each other off. At this point, I'm beginning to wonder about Mister Ulgo. Oh, and then he has the nerve to say, "That was one of the Jedi accompanying Bastila. Damn, we could have used her help!" LIKE HE'S BLAMING ME! Bastard.

We continue on, clearing out the corridors and the ship's bridge. I level up, and that little jingle gives me a warm feeling inside.

Down the next corridor, Trask decides he wants to fight the Sith Lord instead of locking the door. The door slides shut, and you can hear two beginning to have at each other. I silently wish I could watch him die, just to get back at him for being the worst Samaritan I've ever seen.

To Be Continued...

Knowing Is Half The Battle

Gameinformer.com just posted up a very interesting article about Dragon Age: Origins. This would, of course, be of interest only to those valiant few who simply must know just how many hours of dialogue were recorded or the total word count of the game's script. I would fall into that demographic, and if you do, too, here's the LINK and a quick excerpt:


-Leliana's Song was composed and recorded within 24 hours.

-QA analyst Bruce Venne played 1,957.55 hours of Dragon Age PC in 5,352 games.

-The 44-piece orchestra was recorded twice and melded together to form, in essence, an 88-piece orchestra.

Woooooow... =O

Book Review: Dragon Age: The Stolen Throne by David Gaider

(Review originally posted on Amazon.com: link)

Books like this present a tremendous opportunity to allow the gaming faithful of Bioware's lore-rich I.P.'s to feel closer to the company's stories. I picked up this book after falling in love with Dragon Age: Origins. Its story, the characters, and its push to make your experience feel unique and personal pretty much ensured that I would be throwing more money in Bioware's direction. So, here we are.

But did DRAGON AGE's Lead Writer, David Gaider, succeed in making me believe that THE STOLEN THRONE was an extension of the game I just played? Well...kinda.

Taking place many decades before Duncan inducts you into the Grey Wardens, THE STOLEN THRONE recounts the Ferelden uprising against its enemy occupants, by way of a rebellion led by Alistair's father, Prince Maric. It takes you through the various clashes of the two armies, as well as the constant political head-butting Maric must endure as question about his competence as a leader comes into question.

But those who played DRAGON AGE will likely be more interested in the friendship that is struck between young Maric and Loghain, the man who would later betray the throne. It begins as a bond of necessity in the wake of enemy armies closing in to cut down Maric as the last true heir to the throne, but it slowly evolves into a true connection that quite literally comes to shape the very future of the country they're attempting to save.

It is a bit surreal to read about some of the characters that later resurface in the video game, since as the Grey Warden, you will literally hold their lives in your hands. This almost made it feel like it was working up to YOUR story at times, but it only gets a little close and doesn't seal the deal. This story, in the end, actually feels very separate from whatever shenanigans you get into later in DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS, but that didn't really detract from the read...other things did.

Just like Bioware's other Lead Writer, Drew Karpyshyn, David Gaider's prose has a habit of diving into chapters of expository monologues. This, as I've said before, does not make sense to me. These are writers who have had awards thrown at them for their dialogue; why they insist on keeping their characters quiet for extended lengths of time is beyond me. What made DRAGON AGE great were those moments where the characters really bared their souls, but there isn't much of that to be found here (until maybe the last 100 pages or so).

There was just battle after battle, which made me yearn for a story of a smaller scale in this universe, where the characters could have more room to breathe. Not every story in the fantasy genre has to be about kings and massive battles to be successful.

Despite all of this, I did have a great time reading this book, and it certainly didn't put me off enough to discourage me from reading its sequel (though it does make me wary). It's by far the best book to have come from Bioware's writers. The ending is satisfying, though it ends rather abruptly. The characters are well-conceived and fleshed out, but those who have played DRAGON AGE will already have an idea of how this story unfolds.

But I'm still waiting for a book from Bioware that allows its readers to invest just as much emotion into its story and characters as they're able to do with their video games. A story that's interesting in its own right, but feels as though when it comes to an end, your story begins.

Score: 3 1/2 out of 5 - For giving flesh and bones to the lore of Dragon Age, but opting out of creating a story of a more intimate manner.

Just Cause 2: Demo Impressions

I make it a habit of regularly checking the newest available demos on my Xbox 360. More often than not, it equates to me killing an hour with a game that I'll probably never end up buying. The last demo that I played that actually made me want to buy the game was for Battlefield: Bad Company 2. Now, THAT demo was amazing. If they hadn't shut the servers down for it, I'd probably still be playing it. (Which brings to mind the amazing "Wake Island" demo from Battlefield 1942 that I also played way too much. I actually bought the game that time, but WoW was that demo ever amazing.)

So today, I start up my 360 with the intention of playing KotOR for the first time in many a year, but since the emulation for it is terrible to the point of frustration, I opt to check out the demos. Up pops Just Cause 2, which I had heard great things about; specifically from Kotaku.

I had never played the first game. Why? Just cause...(pause for effect). Moving on...

The demo starts out with a brief...introduction? I don't know. The voice acting is terrible. Everyone sorta purrs at each other, and speak as though the last word of each sentence they speak is going to be a double entendre.

"Oh, so you like to play games, miss? I, too, like to play...GAMES..."

They honestly talked like that the entire time. If you think that quote sounded corny, then I was spot on.

Thankfully, that really doesn't last very long at all. Immediately after, you're sent to cause some Chaos...literally. You have a "Chaos Meter" on your screen that actually does the impossible, and scientifically measures Chaos, which seems to be directly proportional to the awesomeness of what you've done. For instance, stealing a motorcycle is only a little awesome, so you only get like 20 Chaos points for such an act. But get a little destructive and bring down a gas station, then the game will recognize the additional awesomeness output and grant you more points accordingly.

So, from what I can gather, the basic premise of the game is to just be awesome. Various missions are thrown at you from this militant group called "The Reapers," and you are sent in to just blow shit up in any way you can think of.

Now, for as cool as this sounds, I know what you're thinking: "Blowing shit up in various fashions is neat and all, but that stuff gets a little boring after awhile." That's where the hookshot comes in. This little mechanic brings so much depth to the game, it's amazing. It comes to be integral in getting you around this massive sandbox world you inhabit, and becomes your most devastating method of offense.

With one press of a button, the hookshot can pull you rapidly from one place to another. Think about the hookshot from The Legend of Zelda, and that's pretty much how it works. But it can also do so much more. If a guy is riding past you on a motorcycle, you can rip him off of it and take it for yourself. If a firefight gets too intense, hook on to a passing car to get out of there. Use it to close the gap between you and your assailants by going Scorpion on their asses in true "GET OVER HEEERRRE!!!" fashion. You can also use it to give yourself enough momentum to deploy your parachute, which allows you to float around for a decent amount of time.

But using it for combat is where it gets interesting. You are also given a "double hook" feature, which allows you to attach two things together. By far, the greatest thing I've accomplished in this demo has been to attach one of my attackers to a passing taxi, who was not inclined to slow down. My attacker was ripped off his feet and dragged down the dusty road before he disappeared out of sight. I received a "Drag Kill" for it a while later, which actually made me feel bad for the guy since it was by no means quick.

This little hookshot makes combat and traveling very fun. I was only given a thirty minute time limit and a small section of the open world to mess around with, but judging by what I've seen, this map is HUGE! I stole a helicopter, flew it all the way to the ceiling of the map, which took a long time, and subsequently jumped out and began free-falling. I fell for almost two minutes before I hit the ground (didn't deploy my parachute, which resulted in a painful-looking impact). That just amazed me. Unless I missed my guess, this game looks enormous.

So, yeah, thirty minute time limit and I played it through twice so far. Even with them sticking me in the most deserted place in the map, I still feel that there's a lot to do. It pretty much takes that "havoc-encouraging" feel of GTA and sets you loose on an island paradise somewhere in Southeast Asia. There's still that chance that, after a few hours of playtime, the mechanics might become boring (i.e. Prototype) but with such a beautiful looking world, plenty of gadgets, and all sorts of things to destroy, this game could have what it takes to make more of a splash than its predecessor ever did.

A very, very late review

I think everyone else on Earth has already reviewed Dan Brown's 'The Da Vinci Code' by now, but I just got done reading it recently, and thought I would offer my opinions.

I liked it.

I was torn from the beginning, because I had enjoyed the movie (years ago now) and yet my idol Stephen Fry had described it as 'loose stoolwater' (I think those were the words anyway - it was clear that he didn't like it.)

Although (like so many bestsellers) it wasn't any kind of massive achievement, it was very, very enjoyable to read. A good thriller. I was gripped, throughout, constantly wanting to read one more tiny chapter and see what secret the heroes would uncover next. Even though I already knew the entire plot, come to think of it, from the film.

It is 'a page turner'.

I have to address the faults, just to help me deal with my parental abandonment issues relating to Mr Fry:

1) The villain's chief sidekick is a black-robed monk with red eyes, who is also a masochist. This is very silly. He's albino... but still. I think the only reason he is albino is because that means he has red eyes.

2) The national stereotyping is surprisingly cheap and lazy. Tom Hanks is a handsome, sexy Harvard professor who is a flatfoot and relatively blunt (compared to the French and English characters) but he has a heart of gold and a true and honourable sense of right and wrong. He gets the girl. Sophie Neveu is a beautiful, charming, innocent, French 'police cryptologist' (I hope that is a real job) who seems to be in her twenties, and yet is among the most brilliant problem-solving minds on Earth. And of course, 'Sir Leigh Teabing' is English. He drinks tea, he makes smart quips, he talks posh, he drinks tea, he makes snobby remarks, he drinks tea. He is English. Oh, and he's tricky, too.

3) The characterisation in general is pretty weak. Again, considering how exciting the plot is, this kept surprising me.

4) I often had a hard time figuring out Langdon's (see picture above) motivation for even being there. He seems to risk everything for a vague quest to solve a riddle which may-or-may-not have been addressed to him by a stranger. The character is portrayed as cautious and quiet, so why is he risking his career and freedom for this? It seems to be largely because a pretty French genius asked him to, and he misses the pretty Italian genius he fell for in the first book.

5) And finally, there is a lot of completely made-up art and religious history. Until half-way through, I was absolutely loving this book and its complex weaving of hidden historical facts and fictional adventure, because I saw it as the most exciting art class ever ever ever. When I got to looking things up (on wiki... but still...) I found that it was 90% fiction, and I was disappointed.

But the carefully-organised thriller plot, the anagrams and riddles, and the sense of tension were absolutely wonderful. Here, I guess, lies the massive success of the book. And there was an brief moment when I thought I had learned the secret of Mona Lisa's smile (and title), which felt great until I hit wiki and discovered that, no... there's no such thing as the Priory of Scion. Which is a damn shame.

That said - I spent a long, long time examining The Last Supper after I finished reading. And I really was quite disturbed by the old, familiar image - how could I have never noticed how incredibly feminine Peter looks? I was amazed that I had never noticed.
I will be DAMNED if that's a man sitting opposite Jesus, in a colour-swapped copy of his clothes, forming a large empty space in the shape of a chalice.

Okay, it could easily be a man! I'm no art scholar. I'm barely a scholar, as I'm sure this review demonstrates.

But he looks DAMN feminine...


















(Peter is the one who's about to make-out with Harrison Ford.)

After Five Years: My Greatest Work Is Compleeeteeed!

Five years ago, I played Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic for the first time. It was that hallelujah moment where everything in my life started to make actual sense. I knew, from then on out, I wanted to be a writer (or work for Bioware, whichever came first).

To sort of keep the memory of my KotOR experience alive, I started working on my own little prequel story to the game. Now, I put a lot into this thing. I played the game again to take more notes on the details of Revan's life as a Sith Lord, I bought a copy of the Star Wars Chronology (which is actually pretty fascinating), and I even carried around a printed copy of Darth Revan's wikipedia article at school to study. I was obsessed, that's for sure, but I regret none of it.

Eventually, I got to work on the actual story, working every night for weeks until I had over 20,000 words worth. But I couldn't keep up the momentum. After months of working on it, I let it go. I let it all go, actually. I stopped looking for news of a possible KotOR 3 and I let my whole Star Wars fandom slip by the wayside. But that was until I read Star Wars: Shatterpoint and Revenge of the Sith by Matthew (Fucking) Stover. My passion for that universe had been renewed, and I started writing my little prequel again last April of 2009.

Eleven months and 100,000 words later, I finally finished it. This was the story that I've always wanted to write, and even though it's fanfiction, I cherish everything that has come to inspire it into existence.

Very glad it's over, and I'm naive enough to think that something good might come of it, but that's just how I roll. Bioware, Mr. Karpyshyn, Mr. Gaider, and Mr. Buch--this one's for you!

Revan's Shadow