DLC Review - Mass Effect 2: Arrival

"The number of people Shepard has just disappointed with this DLC."

Let's say you've made a video game series that has just taken the industry by storm: an in-depth, absolutely gorgeous, and intriguing space opera that has sold millions of copies around the world. While fans hold their breath for the sequel, you decide you want to send this last game out with a bang before the inevitable conclusion to the series: an epilogue, if you will. Wouldn't it behoove you to make a bookend that will just...gosh...blow the player away, so that they have no choice to wait for the next chapter on pins and needles?

Wouldn't it?

BioWare?

...Wouldn't it?

To those of you who have not played this last add-on for Mass Effect 2 - dubiously-named "Arrival," since nothing technically arrives just yet - I'll keep spoilers to a minimum. But, honestly, there's not much to spoil; your best guess is probably better than what this add-on has to offer.

The add-on begins as all of them inevitably do: "You have a new message waiting for you at your private terminal." This time, Shepard takes it in his office, and it turns out to be Admiral Hackett, who contacts you through your...model ship display. I kid you not. Basically, the good admiral needs you to rescue one of his contacts, who has hard evidence of a Reaper invasion and would like her rescued because of this.

But let's back this up real quick and analyse this. First: Why would a model ship display double as a monitor? Shepard has like 100 real monitors at his disposal. Secondly: You have to realize that Hackett is asking you, Shepard, to rescue this scientist because she supposedly has the Reaper's smoking gun. Because, certainly, Shepard has never had any dealings with the Reapers in the past, and has absolutely no evidence to back him up - well, depending. But anyway, Hackett's basically looking you in the eye and saying those two games' worth of action weren't enough to convince anyone (still!), so you'll have to do a bit more.

"Okay," says I. And suddenly everyone forgets that the Alliance Navy spent the entirety of ME2 snubbing Shepard on account of his ties to Cerberus.

But here's the real kicker. Admiral Hackett wants Shepard to go in alone. Why? Because he feels that any more than one person going in and shooting up the place will result in the scientist being killed by her Batarian captors. "Go in alone, or don't go in at all," he tells me. So, perhaps fearing Hackett's omnipotence, I agree. Even though, if it were up to me, I definitely would have brought Garrus along. Just saying.

This kicks off what is essentially an hour's worth of running and gunning, with little substance beyond what occurs in the last ten minutes (and even that wasn't all that impressive). There are no real decisions to make other than to agree eagerly or indifferently. There is one outstanding moral dilemma, but the game will not let you make it since Shepard automatically agrees with the entire thing. So, for pretty much the entire hour, you're on moral autopilot.

And let's not forget the twist, which I found so laughably bad and cliched that I got myself killed from the shock of it.

After being so disappointed by Dragon Age 2, I cannot believe I've been stung twice by BioWare in a single month. This was not the add-on or the epilogue that "Arrival" should have been. This wasn't worth all the promotion, hype, and the little advertisements that were sent along inside copies of DA2. What this $8 add-on amounts to is an hour of shooting guards and a revelation of what might happen in Mass Effect 3, though I doubt it'll be all that impactful, since you're still going to have players who won't get this add-on. The story can't change dramatically for some.

If you've bought all of the DLC and just have to buy this, then I won't stop you, but I can tell you that I was very, very disappointed by "Arrival". Heartbroken, might be a better word. It's a huge shift in quality that I wasn't expecting after the very good "Lair of the Shadow Broker." I find myself saying the same thing after Dragon Age 2. All they had to do was match the quality of the last game (or DLC) and they would've been golden. Instead, they slapped together something for a quick dollar, selling people on their reputation instead of the quality I know they're capable of.

1 out of 5 Stars

Return to Oz (1985): 15 things that have no place in a sequel to 'The Wizard of Oz'

Yesterday I watched the movie Return to Oz for the first time. I'd heard that this was the sequel to the classic, beloved family film - perhaps the quintessential family film - The Wizard of Oz from 1939. I had also heard that the 1985 film was largely unconnected to the first one (taking more of its cues from the original L Frank Baum books) and that it maintained a cult appeal, largely because it was surprisingly scary.

In particular, I had heard that the Wheelers were pretty creepy and had apparently traumatised plenty of viewers.


And yeah, that definitely looks pretty creepy. So, having often been curious about this supposedly unsettling sequel to the most cherished, colourful and heartwarming family fim ever made, I decided to check out these Wheelers for myself.

I mean, the rest of the movie can't be as bad, right? Just look at the cover!


The result is this list:


15 things in 'Return to Oz' which are significantly more frightening than the Wheelers.

Obviously this list will spoil the movie if you haven't seen it. And trust me, seeing it will be far more fun than reading this.

So, in loosely chronological order-


1) Dorothy is taken to a psychiatric clinic.

Within the first ten minutes of the movie (which begins with suspenseful violin and the image of an expressionless, insomniac Dorothy staring hauntingly at the walls at the dead of night) Dorothy is taken to a psychiatric clinic. It's made very clear from the start that the little girl (now actually played by a little girl, just to make it worse) is mentally unstable, and that the events of the first film were probably an hallucination of some sort.

And this doesn't let-up later on. There is no point in the movie where it turns out Oz was real after all. It's left ambiguous.


2) We're off to see the....... electro-shock... therapist...

Before that opening violin has even finished, we're treated to the site of 'Auntie Em' reading a newspaper advertisment that reads, 'Announcement! Electric Healing!'
And, yeah. because of her endless ravings about ruby slippers and tin men and wicked witches (you know, our childhoods) Dorothy is literally carted-off to a turn-of-the-century psyichiatric hospital to be electro-shocked. By Auntie Em. Later in the movie, we see her being strapped into the contraption and then left alone. She escapes before the therapy can begin, thank God, but this is the movie's only mercy.


3) Dorothy, as written by Christopher Walken.

This was probably in the books, but just check out what our heroine, the sweet and kind Dorothy, tells her therapist.

The tin woodsman used to be made of flesh, like everybody else. But then he cut off his leg... he had a tin leg made, but then a witch enchanted his axe. And he kept on... cutting off all the other parts of his body, until he was all made of tin. Even his head was...

And at this point the therapist stops her, possibly in order to avoid soiling himself.


4) The sequence that launched a thousand J-Horror movies.

While we're still in the hospital, we get lots of little clues / parallels as to what will happen in Oz. You know, to set up the inevitable 'And you were there! And you!' scene at the end. There is a pumpkin, a chicken, a machine with a face. It's symmetry within the plot, setting-up the characters who are to come later - and... uh, adding weight to the implication that her adventure really is nothing but delusion. Fun for kids.

But while her doctor is explaining about the modern marvel of electric shocks, Dorothy seems to drift off... and the voice of the doctor fades... and the god-damned violin returns... and she sees the face of another girl in the mirror. Staring. Emptily. And Dorothy looks into its dead eyes... and gives the subtlest of smiles. And the violin swells... and she's interrupted again.

The rest of the scenes in the clinic are just classic horror. The mysterious girl in the mirror appears in Dorothy's room and says, 'It's Halloween soon' and it gets worse from there on. There are some very unsettling desolate, drawn-out suspense shots here, including a great one with a creaking door and a gradual zoom-in on Dorothy's empty, emotionless face.


Oh! And every now and again you hear screaming mental patients in the background.


5) A drowning child.

After the agony of the slowly-strapping-Dorothy-Gale-Into-An-Electric-Chair scene, she and the mysterious girl from the mirror manage to flee the building and escape to the storm outside. Persued as they are by the Gestapo-style matron, they immediately hurl themselves into the swelling lake nearby. After several minutes of the pair frantically trying to grab onto something in the rushing water at the dead of night, the mirror girl drops under the water and doesn't come back up.
Now later she returns, as 'Ozma of Oz'... so if we assume that Oz is real, then don't worry she's okay. But if we assume Oz is not real... and remember, the movie never gives us a straight answer... then we just watched a little girl drown.

No catchy musical numbers, yet. Still hoping.


6) Demonic voices and faces in the wall.

Dorothy wakes up, finally, in the Merry old Land of Oz, and thank God, it's colourful and pleasant. There is even whimsical music. She finds a talking chicken who tells jokes and picks from a 'lunch pail tree' - awww! And then faces start appearing on the rocks, and we cut to the same faces reappearing in a hell-like scene, distorting themselves across flickering, red, stone walls, telling an unseen character with an unhumanly deep voice that 'She has returned'. Oh.


7) Your childhood memories in ruins.

As Dorothy and the chicken sidekick set off to find any sign of life in Oz (no, honestly, that seems to be their quest) they encounter the symbolic wreckage of the yellow brick road. After another scene with Satan and the Posessed Rocks we see the heroes have reached the Emerald City... much quicker than they did last time. The city is now an eerie, ancient ruin, with no emeralds in sight, or indeed people. There are numerous chalky, semi-collapsed statues of people, some of them without heads, some cut in half at the waist, the others bearing frozen expressions of horror. The tin man and the cowardly lion are there too, having suffered the same fate. No word yet on the scarecrow or Glinda the good witch, who we are left to assume were eviscerated by Jason Voorhese. Also it's at this point that the Wheelers appear and try to kill Dorothy. She escapes and finds a new sidekick, 'Tic Toc' the comical robotic soldier who proclaims, 'I am not alive, so I cannot be sorry or happy'. More on this later.


8) Princess Mombi.

Princess Mombi is the personification of my nightmares.

The Wheelers are her private army, and she's some kind of overlord who lives alone in a giant palace playing a bouzouki, surrounded by a gallery of beautiful, female human heads. She has long ago removed her own head, and now wears those of her murder victims, which take on her personality the moment she attaches them to her neck, and otherwise wait in obedient silence with their eyes closed. Usually. After the headless body of the Princess explains the situation, she attaches a new head and announces plans to keep Dorothy a prisoner, until she is an adult and thus able to provide her with a new, pretty head.


9) Jack Pumpkinhead.

Inside Mombi's dungeon, Dorothy and her freakish, unlovable cohorts meet the latest and most horrific of that number - Jack Pumpkinhead. This is a tall, gangly man with a carved pumpkin for a head, a distorted sense of identity and the voice of a serial killer, specifically Norman Bates. Seriously, he sounds just like Norman Bates! And better yet, he believes Dorothy is his mother. For me, this was the height of the movie's horrors - just after seeing Mombi's living decapitation gallery, to suddenly see Jack crouching down toward a small girl and whispering, 'May I call you Mom?' sent me right over the edge. And he keeps calling her that all the way through the movie.


10) The Wizard of Oz 2: Dead By Dawn.

As they flee the Princess (don't get me stated on that - it involves a headless, animatronic woman jutting out of her bed) the heroes enlist the help of the 'gump' - a trophy deer head which they have reanimated against his will in order to help them. They connect the gump to a sofa with improvised wings. Quite rightly, the Frankensteinian monster asks them, 'What am I?' Dorothy replies, 'You're just a thing.' Quite. Tic-Toc then says they should keep flying until dawn. They won't make it 'til dawn.

This scene ends, brilliantly, with the whispered line, 'Good-night, mom...'


11) The Nome King.


The Nome King is not a gnome, and hardly a King since he seems to have no subjects beyond Mombi, her Wheelers and the claymation faces in the rocks. Because everyone else in Oz is dead. He is the one responsible for the current, horrible fate of the land, as he explains when he introduces himself to the heroes. Because the Emerald City was built with emeralds, which he apparently owns, being a spirit of the rocks... he views the city's construction as theft, and he does a fairly good job of convincing us of the cold, just logic of his coup.
Also, his face becomes more and more human-looking with every life he takes. And he has the scarecrow held prisoner in Limbo. And he has stolen the ruby slippers. And he is wearing them.


12) He chose... poorly.

After taking them prisoner and inviting them to drink hot liquid silver, the Nome King forces our heroes into a challenge - they must view his 'trophy room', in which every trophy is the distilled soul of a citizen of Oz, and work out which one holds what remains of the Scarecrow. If they choose incorrectly, they become his latest trophies. And all but Dorothy choose incorrectly. The comical robot Tic-Toc actually cries before the stress of the situation causes his body to break and shut-down. Before he makes his choice he also says, 'I have always valued my lifelessness.'
I have always. Valued. My lifelessness.


13) Honour or Madness?

Before making her choose her ornament, the Nome King offers Dorothy another tough decision:

Nome: You don't have to go down there. I could use the ruby slippers and send you home. And when you get back, you will never think of Oz again.
Dorothy: But what about my friends?
N: Forget about them. You can't help them now. (pause) There's... no place... like home!!

And with this, the last remnant of good feeling about The Wizard of Oz is eradicated forever.


14) The Death of the Nome King.

By confusing means, Dorothy, Jack and the other abominations manage to beat the Nome King at his own game, whereupon he ceases to toy with them and transforms into a massive, red stone monster. The fires of hell surrounding them, they watch helplessly as he laughs hysterically in his demon voice and slowly lowers Jack into his enormous, gaping jaws.


Jack survives and the King dies, horribly. And this is the end of things, here. The rest of the film is relatively non-threatening. Dorothy restores the murdered peoples of Oz to life and in thanks, the shell-shocked Tin Man and Lion wordlessly hug her. She wakes-up to find that the mental clinic has burned down, killing the doctor with the shock therapy machine. Y...ay?

-------

So there you have it! I hope I've brightened-up the Wheelers' reputation, if only by comparison. Sure, at one point they corner Dorothy in a tunnel whilst cackling and threatening to 'cut her into shreds', but as you've seen - this is nothing compared to the everyday waking nightmares within the wonderful, charming, Technicolor world of Oz.

And also-


15 - This.

This.


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Return to Oz is highy, highly recommended, but not for unaccompanied children.

Game Review: Dragon Age 2 - Part 2

Part One can be found HERE. Or two posts down.

The Gameplay: "Lightspeed too slow?!"

Thinking back to games like Knights of the Old Republic and Dragon Age: Origins, I don't ever remember putting the controller down and saying to myself, "You know, this game would be a metric shit-ton better if every time you pressed a button, something awesome happened." In fact, out of all the criticism I saw leveled at DA:O, and in between the dozens of "Game of the Year" awards KotOR received, I don't recall there being an overwhelming outcry for frantic, can-hardly-keep-track-of-it action.

Does that mean I don't want it now that BioWare have given it to me? Not necessarily. I don't want to be the one to complain about an improvement, but that's what I'm here for. There was a long list of things that I wanted to see improved in a sequel to DA:O. Better environments, better armor, more weapons, a better inventory system, a continuation of the veritable carpet of loose threads that the story left open for a sequel. Not to mention how a third of the game is spent in loading screens. It's like BioWare saw the list of things that I wanted to see improved and picked the one at the bottom of the list.

But let me take a step back and take a look at the combat from a positive perspective. Accounting for the fact that the auto-attack option was (and still is) intended to be integrated into DA2, I'll say that I really found myself enjoying the combat for the most part. If I had to describe this production in one word, it would be "zazz," because BioWare really wanted to draw in a gaming demographic who like to do cool things and look cool while doing it (i.e. God of War, Dante's Inferno, CoD). The combat in DA2 has a lot of zazz.

"Jumped by penniless thieves? CHOP 'EM IN HALF!"

As a rogue, smashing on the attack button (you have to smash it) will send you flying across the battlefield, plunging your blades into your enemy's chest, and drawing a fountain of blood from him in the process. If you've played the demo, you've seen this in action. It looks bloody magnificent, and things only get better when you start growing your talent tree. When BioWare said, "Fight like a Spartan!" they didn't mean in any historically accurate sense, because, you know, they really didn't fight like Hawke tends to. No, BioWare meant, "Fight like those kickass Spartans from fucking 300!" and this is closer to the truth, though I don't remember seeing a phalanx in there anywhere...

So, the combat certainly looks great and feels great. I remember groaning aloud when I tried it out for the first time, but it grew on me. Not to say I prefer it over the "old way" though. With so much happening, with the difficulty curve on the easy side for the most part, it's easy to find yourself disregarding your talents in favor of just smashing the attack button. As a mage, I certainly find myself doing this constantly. The thing about the Old Way: it was manageable. It required you to get tactical, and that's what I enjoyed about it.

This New Way is enjoyable. I personally loved seeing Hawke disappear into the shadows and reappearing behind an enemy for a backstab (it's pretty much "shadowstep" from WoW). But you lose a lot of the depth that the Old Way had. Hawke kicks ass from Day One, with all the zazz that can be pumped into a character without making him seem like the Maker Himself. The Warden had to earn his skills, moving from boring, old, and basic auto-attack to skill after devastating skill, and had to deal with the agonizing feeling of being rewarded for his efforts with talents that only rival those of Hawke's Day One adventure out of Lothering.

In the cloud of chaos and zazz, Hawke's New Way lost a lot of the depth and that rewarding feeling that the Warden's progression had. After a while, I wasn't even looking at which skills and talents I was picking, and much to my surprise: it had almost no effect on how I played. I still beat the game and looked damn cool while doing it. Stick that in your well-earned pipe and shove it, Warden.

The Characters: "The Enemy of my Enemy has boobs."

If there was a saving grace for Dragon Age: Origins, it would be the characters and how you interacted with them. Like 'em or not, each character had a good reason for being who they were and, more importantly, where they were. Buch and I have been talking a lot about KotOR lately, and if there was one thing I noticed, it was: it was so easy to believe how each of those characters ended up on the Ebon Hawk. It was a friendship between many, formed by necessity, cemented by a common goal. DA:O had something very similar going on. It gave me the same "dysfunctional family" feeling, which I loved.

The story of DA2 is a cluttered mess. Most of the quests have as much meaning as your typical World of Warcraft grind. The combat is fun, but a tad more shallow than I would've liked. The characters were why I wanted to get through the game. That's not so much the case anymore.

The party members that you pick up throughout the game have nowhere near the depth that DA:O's line up had. This is probably because you can only truly interact with them a handful of times throughout the game. If I had to pick a number, I'd say somewhere around five or six at the very most (maybe a little more with your romance option). I was truly sad when I went to go talk to Fenris at his mansion and discovered he was just a blank slate. There was no dialogue option whatsoever. I would've been happy with a "I'm in the middle of some calibrations" response!

There was no party camp. There was no Leliana's song moment. Heck, Varric is supposed to be this self-proclaimed storyteller and I don't remember him telling one story. Mass Effect 2 had better character interactions, let's put it that way. Each of the characters tell you enough about themselves to avoid being marked as cliches. Fenris, I think, is the only exception, though this is probably just because he was acted so brilliantly. His backstory boiled down to: "I was a slave, I want revenge, and I also hate mages," but his voice told you everything you wanted to know.

I think the mabari hound in DA:O had better characterization than any of the party members in DA2. Might be taking that a bit far, but I'm on my second playthrough and no one's given me any reason to think otherwise.

"Wait! Alistair! Don't leave me with these people!"

Hawke: "Someone's Champion."

I like Mass Effect, but not for the same reasons why I like DA:O and KotOR. In DA:O, you had a name, but no one used it. Your name and your past only defined your character as much as you allowed them to. Everything else required, dare I say, imagination. Watching my Warden disappear into that Eluvian with Morrigan was a very emotional moment for me. It was clearly an end of some sort, and one that I welcomed - a "and they lived happily ever after(?)" kind of thing. It made me realize just how much I had invested into him during his time as a Grey Warden. It was a nice send off.

Hawke, on the other hand... I don't know.

Having a voiced main character, to me, can never offer the involvement than a mute would. It feels like I'm playing a pre-made character instead of properly assuming a role, as the genre would dictate. Just like Mass Effect feels more like a Shepard Simulator than an RPG, DA2 feels like a Hawke Sim, with the caveat that you have much more control over what Hawke says and does. Not that it matters much in the end.

A few hours into the game, I was really warming up to Hawke. Being able to inquire on a wide array of different things during a conversation was a nice touch. If there was something I wanted to ask or say, there was usually an option for it. Most of all, the divide between what I wanted to say and what actually came out of Hawke's mouth was much less drastic than in Mass Effect. Like in Alpha Protocol, the conversation usually proceeded how I'd envisioned it to.

Hawke isn't better than the Warden to me. They're not even in the same goddamn ball park, but I definitely got used to him as my backup character, I guess. But I do wish he'd stop saying things out of line, and I also wish that he could express his opinion in more than just three tones. Could BioWare not think of more emotions?

If there is a major flaw with Hawke (besides the fact that voicing the main character takes up a lot of space on the disc and a large chunk of the production budget, which ultimately leads to less content for something that, I think, is a gimmick), it's that your choices just do not matter in the long run. You are destined to become the Champion of Kirkwall, and you will, indeed, get there eventually. There are no multiple endings and there's a very small chance of you comparing your game experience with someone else and discovering significant differences. All of the choices that you make - the choices that you will certainly put a lot of thought into - will ultimately amount to nothing. At the 11th hour, as the final battle looms, you will be forced to make a decision that determines how everything will play out.

There is no middle ground. There is no negotiation, nor will any of your previous decisions affect it in any way: Mages or Templars. I was completely flabbergasted when I reached this point in the game. For a game, for a company, that places so much emphasis on choice and consequence, there wasn't much of either when all was said and done.

When the credits rolled (they glitched, I wasn't able to hear the song), I felt like this is where the game really should've started. Hawke became the Champion of Kirkwall, though I honestly did everything I could to avoid it while I played. The world was his oyster, but nothing came of it. A cliffhanger ending, which left a sour taste in my mouth after dealing with the Assassin's Creed endings for a year. I'm tired of cliffhangers...

Is Hawke's story ends here, I could live with it. If it continues on into the unfortunately-named Dragon Age 3, I'll be disappointed to hear that BioWare couldn't (wouldn't) extend the same courtesy to the Warden. I would've followed the Warden until his Calling.

In Summation: "The Theory of Yes and No."

I now look at Dragon Age 2 in the same way that I looked at Fable 3, as a game that improved on all the wrong things, and ultimately ended up falling short of the very high expectations I had set for it. To say it's a bad game would be a lie; it's not a bad game. If you take a look at the few RPGs that have been released in the last couple of years, DA2 is certainly near the top of that list. Heck, I'd go so far as to say that if you didn't care much for DA:O, you might really get into DA2. But that really touches at the heart of the issue.

All of what you've read here is completely subjective and very, very biased. Dragon Age: Origins, as I've said, is one of my favorite games: bested only by the two games that changed by life forever. I've read both books, bought the game twice, and played all the DLC. I even have Morrigan and Sten posters up on my wall here. Biased. Dragon Age 2 had every reason to succeed. It was being created by one of the premier RPG producers in the industry, it boasted lore with enough depth to make Oblivion blush, and was using as its foundation one of the most successful RPGs of all time. Dragon Age 2, as it stands, was not the game it should've been.

I'd never ask BioWare to make a game to my exact specifications, but I would ask that they (at the very least) respect what made Dragon Age: Origins a hit in the first place. It was made abundantly clear: in the way much-loved characters are given token cameos; in the way the events of Ferelden are minimized to some foreign incident; in the recycled dungeons; and how in a series that made a name for itself by harking back to the classics of the genre, such slights against its roots are not only implemented, but celebrated... BioWare didn't respect the property or the people who gave BioWare reason to make enough DLC for DA:O to justify an "Ultimate Edition."

It's interesting to watch Dragon Age 2 hit the shelves the same year The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is due to be released. If you had asked me during that time between when I'd finished DA:O and when I started to hear details of DA2, I would've said that Dragon Age 2 would be the one to watch. That BioWare would surely put out an RPG that wouldn't merely be an alternative to TES, but a full-on competitor. But here I am telling you that, at the very least, Dragon Age 2 bested Fable 3.

I'll be waiting for Dragon Age 3, if only to see if BioWare will (this time) really listen to their fans. To me, Dragon Age 2 seemed like a bad experiment, which is not what I thought the sequel to one of my favorites would amount to.

3 out of 5 Stars

Quoth Darth Revan...

I know what you're thinking - once again these chuckleheads are talking about Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Talking about it with barely contained tears in their eyes, talking about it like it's their first wife who died tragically and who was also their childhood pet. Talking until either they die from talking about it too much, or else Bioware hires them to write a second sequel.

Every time I write a piece of fanfic, I tell myself, that's it. No more of this, now. I'm 26 years old, and it's time I put all my efforts into writing actual fiction, instead of flash fiction about Jedi knights.

Well, I've given up trusting myself on that one, but with a ny luck, this one will be my last fanfic. If so, I'm glad it's about Revan, and extremely glad it's a collaboration with Anthony Lowe AKA Knightfall 1138. See, it was Knights of the Old Republic that brought me to Bioware, and indeed to Star Wars, and then to fanfiction, and then to writing fanfiction, and to my transatlantic friendship with Knight, and to writing, full stop.

All those things will no doubt continue to be big parts o f my life, but I think it may be time for me to leave KotOR alone, and shut up about it.


Over the past week or so, Knight and I have been writing two short stories (which link up together, much like Voltron), in the 1st person and from the perspectives of (almost) all of KotOR's party members, remembering moments from the game, and giving a 'eulogy' to Revan.

The Summer of Applejacks. Notice how Zaalbar is gleefully preparing to decapitate Mission with a machete in this picture.

Here is Knight's - 'Of the Sacrifice'
And then mine - 'Of the Fall'


They're just little scenes, but we enjoyed writing them quite a bit, maybe because they allowed us to say 'goodbye' to a fantastically good Star Wars character, who we now accept is almost certainly not coming back from 'the unknown regions or something, I think he said he was out of cocoa' (thank you again, Obsidian).

It's about Revan - his adventure or her second fall to the dark side depending on which of the two versions you read. But it's told in the 'voices' of the other crewmembers and really (not so subtly) it's about how much Knight and I cherish that videogame, and miss those characters.

If you miss that game too and happen to read it, I hope you notice some of the little nostalgic details we put in there, and go, 'Oh yeah, I loved that conversation / planet / scene too'.

If not, thanks for reading this, the latest in my series of overly sentimental theses about pop-culture and computer games. One thing that I love about KotOR, and its sequel, is how beloved they are, by so many people. When I was looking for a picture for this article, I found hundreds of drawings of Revan and the rest, some of them slightly disturbing and most of them a bit odd, but all of them showing the same love we're trying to reflect with these stories. When we posted the first chapters, they were swamped and covered by competing KotOR stories within hours. Annoying, but wonderful.

I love that people are still going on about this stuff. You know that Revan will make appearances of some kind in the upcoming MMORPG The Old Republic, as he already has in the adverts for it.

But you won't get anywhere sitting around here, chatting up old men all day! Shoo! We should return our thoughts to the mission, please, you know? I will leave you be. I'm here, if you want something done right! You got it. Whatever HK said. Dwooooo.



Once again, here are the links- Of the Sacrifice, and Of the Fall.

We have two chapters each up so far - there will be about five each eventually, and will finish uploading soon.

Game Review: Dragon Age 2 - Part 1

The time has come and gone: those few days after a BioWare release where everything shuts down, I grab myself a few bottled drinks and some junk food, and distance myself from society as much as possible. Though, this time was arguably a bit different.

Dragon Age: Origins. I've talked about it and its coming sequel quite a bit over the last year. I harbor no illusions of DA:O being a "perfect game." In fact, there were parts of it that were downright frustrating. But I still came away in awe of what I had played. "Inspired" might be the right word, actually. The characters, the lore, the story (clichéd, perhaps) all of it made a big impression on me. When I was finished, I felt like I'd just woken up: a feeling I'd not had since playing Knights of the Old Republic for the first time.

So, I patiently awaited a sequel, buying the expansion, all of DA:O's DLC, and both books in the meantime. I cannot tell you how excited I was when it was officially announced. I know the DA:O had a rocky start with an overly-long development cycle, and it sounded like BioWare was going to put the time into DA2 to make it a better experience all around. I started to imagine the possibilities, where we'd be going next.

Then I saw the trailer, learned all about Hawke, and how DA2 would have almost nothing to do with its predecessor. Gah, my heart broke that day. It was like losing KotOR 3 all over again.

So I waited to hear more news, and when more surfaced I really didn't like what I was hearing. It didn't sound so much like they were making a sequel to DA:O, but a reboot instead. New land, new main character, new party members, new combat system, an emphasis on zazz. No, no, no. Nothing about that stuff made any sense at all.

After several months of brooding, I eventually broke down and made the decision to buy the game. I wanted to see for myself: what BioWare had done to the series. I also had a gift card, so I didn't have much invested at any rate. So, I get the game, bring it home, install the long list of DLC I'd somehow accumulated, and get the game going. To my outright surprise, this game has me very torn. Part of me thinks that this is definitely one of the better RPGs that I've played in some time, and another part of me thinks that DA:O, as well as its fans, deserved better.

The Story: "The Man (or Woman) Who Would Be Champion."

"You've got red on you."

You take on the role of Hawke, a Fereldan refugee who will someday become the Champion of Kirkwall; with Kirkwall being a large city-state on the coast of the Free Marches, north of Ferelden. How you become the Champion is unclear, but a dwarf named Varric is intent on sharing "what really happened" with a templar who happens to be interrogating him. So, as you progress Hawke's story, you're really progressing the story Varric is telling the templar. A framed narrative, in other words. A story within a story.

This is an interesting way to play out the game, but it has just as many faults as it does benefits. In terms of benefits, it certainly puts emphasis on everything you do. Much like the Warden of DA:O, it feels like every little thing you do is building up to something much greater than yourself. It's also pretty damned entertaining to see how Varric embellishes the truth from time to time, and whether or not he sees you in a positive or negative light.

A downside to this is that there are several "jumps" in the story. Years will pass at certain parts, which means that Hawke will suddenly know someone or something that you do not. That means that you'll inevitably be left swinging in the dark about certain things for a time until you're allowed to catch up. And surprisingly, nothing really changes in the world after these time skips, save for the dialogue. Although everything looks the same, someone will eventually make the comment of, "Wow, how crazy were those three years, Hawke?"

Even Fable III changed up Bowerstone City after the years had started to pass. I'm wondering why DA2 couldn't even manage to move things around.

Anyway, the main plot, if it can be seen as much, revolves around a conflict between templars and mages. For those who need a refresher course, the templars are a religious organization, whose sole purpose is to keep a short leash on mages of all kinds. The reason for this being that mages naturally disrupt the fragile border between their world and the spirit realm, and too much undue disruption can result in a demon being brought into the world, which is no good. Tensions are always high between the two groups, but Kirkwall has become a veritable Salem, Massachusetts on a larger scale.

I guess that's not necessarily the plot, more like the conflict. There really is no solid story, and if BioWare intended there to be one, it doesn't really shine through the mound of random quests this game is loaded with. If it's supposed to be about Hawke's rise to power, then that, too, is somewhat lost in the shuffle.

The Quests: "They're not called 'chores' in a fantastical setting."

"Where even collecting herbs will end with you killing someone."

As soon as you find yourself in Kirkwall, you'll find yourself drowning in quests. Once you're settled, the goal is to get yourself and your sibling a position in the next excursion to the Deep Roads, the ancient ruins of the dwarven empire. This is to keep your sibling (or yourself, if you're a mage) out of reach from the templars, who have been cracking down hard on mages lately. You're denied the position, but a dwarf named Varric claims he can get you in. It's just gonna cost you quite a bit of money. Fifty sovereigns to be exact.

This is what the first third of the game revolves around: getting money. Doesn't seem very glorious or epic, I know. The first third of Dragon Age: Origins had you bear witness to the Battle of Ostagar, the evacuation of Lothering, the demon at Redcliffe, etc. But there's nothing wrong with a story of smaller scope. Indeed, most of DA2 will focus on the politics of the city of Kirkwall, and the quests you're soon after hit with are a vehicle for getting yourself acquainted with it. I was particularly impressed with the way humans, elves, dwarves, the Dalish, and the Qunari all had their place, their own pull on society. It certainly makes for a playground of ethical choices over the course of the quests.

But despite your choices, you're pulled invariably toward an ending that is certainly more set in stone than that of DA:O. Once you approach that moment in the game where you're literally forced to choose between mages and templars, you'll see how little control you've had.

I'm all for quests. I'm all for having a lot of them. DA:O had a lot of them and so does its sequel. Unfortunately, what DA2 does not have is pacing. As soon as you're given your money quest, you're hit with a laundry list of quests/chores. You'll be hit with them so fast, you'll forget how you got them, what their overall point was, and why they were significant. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if there was even the slightest amount of pacing. Remember in the last game, how you actually had to walk places? That's pretty much gone. (I'll come back to that later.)

As you're burning through the quests, you might see that some of them are actually pretty impressive. The writers from DA:O have clearly returned, but that doesn't mean you won't still get swamped by "go here, kill them" and "go here, collect these" quests. I kid you not, some took all but a minute to complete. Some will play out like this:

"I need a man killed dead."

"All right, let's do this."

Walk around the corner, kill a guy, walk back.

"Dead man's dead."

"Jolly good."

Pick up another quest, repeat. But, as I said, I don't dislike things like this. I used to play World of Warcraft a lot, after all. But I just prefer some pacing. To a point, it almost feels like you're on autopilot, with the quests and whatever meaning they might have passing you by in a blur.

--

Okay, I've pretty much been 90% critical of this game so far. Can't help it, that's what I do. But the game does have some redeeming factors that'll make it worth playing for DA:O fans. I'll see if I can't cover those on the next post.

Part Two of this review can be found HERE.

BioWare Release: Dragon Age 2

It's been arguably one of the shortest sequel turnarounds ever, but, to me, it's felt like forever. I love Dragon Age. I love the world of Thedas, I love the characters, I love the story BioWare allowed me to create for myself through Dragon Age: Origins. Hell, even the books were pretty good! (Well, they were okay.)

Tonight, Dragon Age: Two gets released in North 'Merica at midnight. I'll be there, waiting to get my hands on the "BioWare Signature Edition" so's I can jump back into where I left off. It goes without saying, this sequel has to live up to some very unfair standards; and on top of that, has to deal with all of the preconceptions (rage) that have been building up since the sequel was announced.

I'm not happy about Hawke, I'm not happy about the singular dungeon that the game supposedly has, I'm not happy that I can't customize my party's armor and weaponry, and I'm not happy that if this game flops, it'll be a very long wait for a sequel.

Dragon Age: Origins is one of my most favorite games, bested only by KotOR and World of Warcraft out of the long line of titles that I've played in my twenty-two years of gaming. I really think BioWare took too many steps in the wrong direction when they planned out this sequel, and it's been tough to watch one of the premier RPG creators in the industry make a conscious decision to stop making the kind of games that made the company such a hit in this industry in the first place.

I paint a grim picture (it's a hobby), but I've yet to play anything beyond the demo. As of writing this, there are nine hours remaining until the game launches. From there, I'll probably keep playing until daybreak, sleep, and then get right back at it. A review will probably be up here and Amazon within the week. Until then, my fingers are still crossed.

Here's lookin' at you, BioWare. >.<

First Impressions: Dragon Age 2 Demo

Yeah, this is a week late. My Xbox Live Gold subscription expired a few weeks back, and I've had little reason to renew it. (Though I do miss Netflix and BC2. A lot.) But I digress...

EDIT: [Hello readers, this is Buch - the other writer here on the blog - hijacking so that I can offer a few comments. I'll be using this font, and square brackets. I should say that I actually downloaded the 'Dragon Age 2' demo on the day, and started so many blogs about it, but could never decide what I wanted to say.]

I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to download the demo for Dragon Age (Where's the colon and subtitle?) 2, since I'm not the biggest fan of spoilers, and BioWare loves to let a bunch fly just before a release. But I gave in. My curiosity has been building for over a year, and I just had to know: Just how bad did BioWare fuck up?

Sorry for cursing.

[Knightfall curses all the time.]

After playing it, I'm finding myself very, very, very, very torn. Visually, the game is a lot better. Gameplay-wise, it's also much better in some respects. But there are a few things that really made me say aloud, "Are you fraking serious?" I think Dragon Age (Why is there no colon?) 2 is going to do its share of pleasing, while bringing a bit of backlash upon itself at the same time. Of course, the game will probably sell very well, and get tons of acclaim thrown its way, so while I might go off on a rant here, I'm very certain none of it will be changed in time for DA3.

[I agree that the character models and general graphics are strongly improved. But one of the things I noticed was a general poor quality in design. During the demo's few scant levels, the backgrounds look very dodgy to me. Just blank, dark, empty post-battle fields. I was reminded strongly of my first approach to Kvatch in 'Oblivion', and how much more affected I was back then. The backgrounds were dull, that one character has inappropriately brightly-coloured hair. The bad hair was one thing I was sure would be fixed in this game I'm not sure I'd say this game looks a lot better.]

The Pros:

-Combat: Ever since the game was announced, BioWare have been emphasizing that, this time around, you'll be able to "press a button and something will happen." Very vague to those of us who were already familiar with the concept of cause and effect. What they really meant is that, now, when you use one of your spells or talents, it connects. Your character won't start freaking out or slowly maneuver into position.

No, when you hit the backstab talent, Hawke immediately jumps behind the enemy and backstabs. There's no delay, there's no assuming the position (giggity). When all is said and done, it's really nice. Reminds me a lot of World of Warcraft.

[It's so good to see that the combat has not been dumbed-down - or at least, only to a very small extent. Personally, I preferred the old semi-turn-based method, but this works too. And it does feel great not to have three misses in every five attacks. There are a couple of other little touches about combat - archery is no longer underpowered, thank goodness. You can hit people with your staff or bow if they get too close, and there are cool little combat animations for everyone.
Bloody mages, however, are still bloody overpowered.]

-Character Design: I've interacted with a number of characters, and so far each of them have looked unique from each other. Not only that, but male and female body types have been refined, so that a woman with a full suit of armor doesn't look like a man, and a man with a full suit of armor doesn't look like the Incredible Hulk. Skin textures are better (a lot less shiny), and proportions are more realistic. Definitely an improvement in this regard.

There's also a lot of boob action going on. I feel that I should mention that.

-Goddamn Action: There have been a load of cutscenes, but characters seem much more animated. They interact with each other, gesture as they speak, and there's a lot more drama to it. So far, it's been refreshing. It was not uncommon in DA:O for a party of characters to just stand there, moving only their head and a single arm the entire time. And I haven't noticed any repetition in their movements, so that's something.

[The only thing that does bother me here is that the dialogue / cutscenes seem to be very, very similar to 'Mass Effect'. 'Mass Effect' of course has incredible cinematic, dramatic qualities, so it's no bad thing. But it does make Dragon Age 2 seem less unique, which I picked up on a lot and didn't like.]

-Talent/Skill Trees: I like that the trees have been cleaned up a little. There seem to be just as many as there were in DA:O, but it's loads easier to find what you are looking for. Plus, there's a greater variety, so it's likely you won't be putting all of your points into one single tree. I know, for the most part, that was the case for me.

Also, it seems like there are fewer sustained spells, which I like. Playing as a rogue, I just wanted more attacks, but I was constantly loaded down with buffs and things like songs. Save those for the mages.

[Well-said.
One gripe I have with the skill trees is that almost all of the skills I saw were very familiar. It's pretty much the exact same set of abilities as in the original game. This seems lazy.]

-Visuals: The first part of the demo takes you just outside of Lothering. Though, I didn't know that part of Ferelden was that barren, the place does look nice. There's more color, better shading, and the overall sense of ambiance is more pronounced than in DA:O, where there were times you could swear you were looking at a still image.

-Armor: One of my main gripes with DA:O was that no matter what piece of armor you found, epic or no, they all looked alike. In DA2 there seems to be a greater variety, which makes my heart smile.

-References: There were only a couple direct references to Dragon Age: Origins, but they really did get me excited. I really think this game is going to live or die for me based on how well it honors all that I managed to pull off in the first game. And seeing Flemeth again was awesome. She looks much more like a Witch of the Wilds now, and Kate Mulgrew really knocked it out of the park this time. She was amazing.

[Yes, but the very fact that Flemeth looked so different - at the same time as the original game was set - really annoyed me. Already we're retconning the original. This bodes ill. I know, I know she can shapeshift.]

The Cons:

-Hawke: Though I'm warming up to the concept, I still think a sequel to Dragon Age: Origins would have been so much better with a greater emphasis on character attachment. Hawke's backstory has already been written. He's human, he's got a voice that isn't yours, and he's already a Champion. I just feel like there's very little room for role-playing in that equation. I would have loved to be an elf again, or even a qunari! We could have spent the story living in the aftermath of your Warden's actions, but now we're completely circumventing it.

I'm not so disappointed anymore, since the story is actually shaping up rather well, but I do feel an echo of what I was feeling as I played through Fable III: that this is a major missed opportunity to really capitalize on what made DA:O great and very replayable. Only time will tell (a week, to be precise) how I'll feel about DA2, but I think BioWare is getting too caught up in letting you play someone else's story instead of letting you feel like you're creating your own.

[This is my main worry as well. I really do fear that 'Dragon Age: Origins' will be the last new game I'll ever play with proper dialogue trees and a silent, personalised main character with a name and backstory I made up.

Of course, as I mentioned earlier, that's not to say that the cinematic 'Mass Effect' style isn't wonderful. I just wish Dragon Age would continue along as it began. Hopefully it will remain more of an RPG, and parts of the character and story, like the inventory and combat, will stay basically the same.]

-Hack and Slash: I groaned very loudly when I hit the A button to attack and Hawke slashed once, then stopped. Let me say this: stuff like this only works with a game like Fable, where the gameplay is so simple that you can easily get through the game without worrying about health or mana, etc. But when I have to worry about health, stamina, cooldowns, party members, and crowd control, I do not want to do all that whilst smashing the A button a billion times during a fight.

[And it gets bloody tiresome if your character, like my archer, is stood still at the back of the fight. Your thumb is going to get tired playing this.]

I've lost track of my health several times already, and actually died once. Died! In the demo! I think it'll get tiring after a while (I'm kind of tired of it already) and I think the whole thing could've been handled with a lot more zazz. I seem to remember there was mention of an auto attack option, ala WoW, DA:O, and every other f*%king cRPG in existence, and if so, I'll be okay. I don't know why they thought doing this by default for a 30+ hour game was a good thing, though.

-Hawke's Voice: I'm not a big fan of what I've heard so far. Male Hawke definitely sounds better than Fem Hawke, but I'd rank them both below Mark Meer at his ME1 worst. And I really don't get why they even give us the option to choose what Hawke says if s/he is just going to go off on his/her own tangent during some cutscenes, anyway. There were many instances where he would talk at random and say things that I would never say.

[I must leap to the game's defence here. I seem to be the only one who thinks so, but the male Hawke sounded pretty good to me! He's not the best actor Bioware ever hired, but I thought he was good enough. He is certainly more impressive than Mark Meer as Commander Shepard! The female actor wasn't terrible, either. Not as good as the bloke, for sure, but.]

-How you gonna act?!: Despite the fact that BioWare were very aware that fans were annoyed with how they could not predict how Shepard was really going to react when they picked a certain option on the dialog wheel, they've somehow managed to make it even worse here. There were many, many times when I'd pick an option that made no sense, and it alluded to something that also made no sense.

After this one character dies (kind of a spoiler) I chose an option that stated: "She won't be alone." Immediately, I was thinking, "Why won't she be alone? Like, spiritually or on the battlefield? Are we going to kill a bunch of darkspawn to keep her company up there?" But no; Hawke says, "At least she'll give father some company."

What?! That doesn't even make any sense! No one's spoken one word about Hawke's father since the demo began. How would I know that? Or that Hawke would say anything about his father? And so the divide between character and player knowledge widened, and I didn't like it.

[In an odd way, this is actually something I like about the dialogue in 'Dragon Age 2' and the Mass Effect series. It makes the player feel like he's in Hawke / Shepard's head, making snap decisions. I think the reason I like it so much is because it reminds me of 'Fahrenheit' AKA 'Indigo Prophecy', which gave you a few seconds to speak, and one or two-word clues.

It makes you feel as if you're really having that conversation. Just as in real life, there's no time to carefully plan out your words. You think of vaguely what you want to say, commit and see what comes out of your mouth. If Hawke / Shepard says something you didn't intend, you feel annoyed and try to backtrack, with limited success - just like in real life. Even though I would prefer DA2 to continue the style DA:O used, I really do like this feature.]

-A word in edgewise: Hawke's not given nearly as many opportunities to speak as the Warden did during DA:O. I kept waiting for my turn to speak, only to hear Hawke say something I didn't want him to. Again with the disconnect.

-Leveling: This might not amount to much after a while, but it quickly got annoying that I was leveling up once every four or five minutes. Which meant I had to pause the game, mess with my stats, mess with my skills and repeat for every other character that leveled along with me. I liked to put a lot of thought into where each of the points are going, so having to do it every few minutes made me grind my teeth a little.

Also, though I really like the layout of the skill/talent trees, they really don't give you many options at first. Though I had like six different trees and a ton of different options, only one or two were unlocked. So I didn't really get to see the "in-depth customization" side of it.

-Party Members: While I'm glad you can still mess with their stats, I'm not very happy that you won't be able to change their armor, especially since there seems to be a greater variety now. That's just the anti-RPG right there. I didn't like that they did that with ME2 and I still don't like it now. (Ten bucks says there will be plenty of alternate costume DLC though.)

[And you know I'll be buying every pauldron of it! Oh WHY must you be so tempting, DLC. I think the fact that I'm betraying myself and all players makes me want that alternate armour even more.]

So! That was my experience with the demo. Had to replay it (which I didn't want to do) because it glitched one of the quests, so now I'm well-versed in the opening moments of the game. Hate that. Despite my gripes, I'm still going to give Dragon Age: Two a fair shot. I still think this whole thing is a missed opportunity, but I know that it'll have a good story nonetheless. I just wish BioWare would stop playing it safe.

[I can't add anything to that - Anthony put it better than I could there. And yet here I am, taking the last word.

Dragon Age: Twenty Two and a Half will be set in Thedas (an in-joke for 'THE Dragon Age Setting'), and thus I will love it. The pirate girl looks rather silly and exploitative, but I'm already in love with the dwarf narrator. I have my doubts about the storyline and loyalty to the original game, but I do now know that there will be lots of cute little touches, good voice acting overall, and one completely new, and welcome, addition to the Dragon Age experience - cinematic storytelling.

When the seeker cried 'bullshit', immediately ending the prologue, shattering my understanding of the scene and very cleverly silencing all the questions I'd been preparing, I stopped criticising the demo for a moment and just enjoyed the scene. Our beloved 'Origins' never did anything like that (except maybe when Leliana started singing).

But that moment was comparable, and it happened in the first few minutes. If the full game keeps up that pace, we'll be laughing.]