Firefly: Still Flying

In what was both a blessing and a curse, I was made aware of the Firefly/Serenity scene after all was said and done. Firefly was already canceled and Serenity was already on DVD after a terrible run in theaters. The thing of it was, I remember both the movie and the show when they came out, and I remember specifically not wanting to watch either of them for one reason: I really did not like Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. And if you watched the trailers for either, that's always how it was billed.

"From the creator of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Angel comes..."

Why the hell would I watch something like that? How the hell was I supposed to know that what I was missing out on was a revolution in sci-fi storytelling (prepare for more hyperbole as the article continues)? How was I...I mean, come on...I...

I DIDN'T KNOOOOOW!

/cries

I say "blessing" because, on a whim, I watched Serenity on DVD and fell in love with it. After doing a bit of research, I found that the Firefly DVDs were available for purchase, and I got them on sale at Wal-Mart for $14.99! That's the deal of the century! I watched the episodes, one after the other, and followed them up with the movie only to find...nothing. There was nothing else. It was like a cruel joke. How could a series so clever, so smart, so downright emotional at times be tossed out into a pile with all those other shows that Peter Griffin listed when Family Guy returned to Fox?

Not only that, but knowing that Serenity was to be the first movie in a proposed trilogy was heartbreaking. Because the movie was just barely able to make enough money to recoup its losses, that trilogy was canceled as well.

=(

Years went on...seasons changed (?)...and more Firefly works were eventually released. Two comic series were churned out by Joss Whedon, both of them on the meh side of things. We got a special edition of Serenity and a newly released book of interviews, production sketches, and short stories by the Firefly writers called Firefly: Still Flyin'. It was always my hope that, someday, a studio would pick up the rights for the show and we'd get AT LEAST one more movie or TV special or...I dunno...something. But as time went by, and I hear of everything that might have happened if the story had continued...I'm wondering if we Browncoats got lucky.

Very few shows are perfect. The fourteen episodes of Firefly are perfect. Chances are, if it had gone on, it would not have been the case. As evidenced by Angel and Buffy, Joss Whedon's shows have a tendency to go off on wild-ass tangents. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I'm not so sure how it would have worked in Firefly. You might remember Bad Horse from Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog, yeah that was actually a reference to a storyline that Joss had thought up for Firefly concerning mutant animals. Yeah.

Also (and it remains to be seen if this is canon) but in the book I mentioned, Still Flyin', Jayne is actually killed off. Yeah. And not in a particularly heroic sense, either. More in the he-got-drunk-and-accidentally-shot-himself sense. Eh.

Firefly worked so well because the characters had marvelous balance. You knew them. It was easy to know them, and peeling back the layers was the best thing about the show. It's what Lost would eventually become. To have three main characters just wiped out like that was just...I don't know. I'm all for main characters getting killed. I know stuff like that's gonna happen, especially if Joss is behind it. But...I keep thinking about how Wash died...getting randomly impaled by Reavers that somehow snuck into that hangar...somehow. It was like that fucking t-rex from Jurassic Park at the end of the movie: how the hell did that thing get into the building?! It's not the noble end to a character that I loved. Wash deserved better. Book, for that matter, deserved better...or they could have at least expanded his story before they did him in. Instead of pulling this during Serenity:

"You're gonna have to tell me all about that crazy backstory of yours, Shepherd."
"No, I don't..."
And Mal just looks at him like he's gone crazy. That's obvious foreshadowing if I ever saw it. Gawd.

It's like every death on that show was trying to compete with Admiral James T. Kirk's wrestling match with the collapsing bridge.

I've basically come to peace with knowing that Firefly might never continue, and I might be okay with that. The whole point of the series was to show how these misfit characters got by, and how their guiding philosophy was to make enough coin to keep flying. I'd like to think that they'd continue doing just that.

...I'd still wouldn't object to another movie, though...

"Mass Effect" Movie Officially In The Works!

It's (pretty much) official! Two years after the option to make the movie was bought by Marvel producers, the Arad Brothers (Spider-Man, X-Men, Iron Man adaptations), film production company Legendary Pictures has picked up the job of actually making it. A major company like Legendary buying the rights means that the movie will absolutely go into pre-production and will likely get fast-tracked within the next couple of years. If things don't go terribly, terribly wrong, that is.

Faith in video game films is still somewhat low, but with the recent release of Prince of Persia, that might change! Let's also keep in mind that we have the Arad Brothers (every Marvel movie since Spider-Man) and Legendary Pictures in on this (The Dark Knight, 300, Watchmen, Where The Wild Things Are, and...Beerfest) so this could be a definite winner if things are done right. What director are we gonna see at the helm? Which actor (actress?) is going to play a certain Spectre? And what of the crew? Dunno! But it's definitely exciting!

Sidenote: Matthew Stover's adaptation of God of War is out in stores today! Go buy it!

Source: io9.com

STAR WARS! And... new fic: A Thousand Generations

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....
Grand Moff TARKIN tirelessly searches for Rebel threats to the evil GALACTIC EMPIRE. Meanwhile at the dark heart of the Empire, middle-aged pilot MARI DALTO recovers a forgotten relic of the Jedi knights....

---

Today is the anniversary of the release of one of my very favourite movies (and I know Knightfall loves it too) Star Wars. AKA Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

It's just such a brilliant film - the perfect, fun action film. It's a tongue-in-cheek but lovingly-crafted homage to Arthurian legend, Kurosawa's samurai movies, Westerns, World War 2 films, medieval fantasy, classic science-fiction and, best of all - the old Flash Gordon adventure serials. It shamelessly steals concepts, characters and scenes from all of these, but mixes them together so beautifully. It has Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Alec Guiness in it, it has one of the best music scores you'll ever hear in your life. There is a fighter-plane dogfight, there are shoot-outs... robots... a saloon with crazy aliens in in. The villains are Peter Cushing and a seven-foot tall, half-robot, black-armour-wearing space Samurai with magical powers, a red laser-katana that he wields like a broadsword, and the voice of James Earl Jones.

We've talked about Star Wars a lot on this blog, but with good reason. It's such a big part of sooooo many people's childhoods. It's a pop-culture phenomenon like no other, and changed movies for ever.

And I grew up watching it, over and over and over. And I never got bored. Here I am, so many years later, watching it yet again and barely to take my eyes off it. Earlier today I was reading a novel based on it, and after that I wrote a chapter of my fanfic based on it.

---------

Yes, my new Star Wars fanfic... is HERE!

I just launched the story on fanfiction.net - and just a minute ago realised that today is the original movie's anniversary! How's that for timing, eh? It's the will of the Force, man.

I swore I'd finished with fan-fiction, but I always felt there was one fic I should have done. Or should have finished. I had the idea for 'A Thousand Generations' years ago, and worked on a couple of versions of it, which were all abandoned.

Now I'm writing it for real. It's a short (about 10 chapters) adventure story, set a couple of years before the original film, and attempting to tap into its style. Like the first movie, it's about a confrontation between the evil Empire and the American Rebel Alliance. And like the movie, it's told from the perspective of two ordinary people who get dragged into the fight.

It's about a middle-aged transport pilot (space Fed Ex) and her part-time student employee who find an old Jedi lightsaber and get mixed up in the Rebellion. It's about the war, but the subplot is all about the Jedi - specifically I'm trying to explain why various characters in the film don't 'believe' in the Jedi and the Force, only twenty years after seeing Samuel Jackson being hurled out of a wndow by lightning.
So - it's a fun, dark adventure story, with a lot of mention of the Jedi's role in the 'dark times' of the original films.

I've been trying to capture the spirit of that first film - the space battles, the heroic Rebels and hero's journeys, funny droids and fiendish, Nazi-like villains.

If you're interested, please give it a look! This really is a labour of love for me. It's supposed to be my last entry on fanfiction.net - a final attempt before I commit to writing proper, original fiction. So - this one honestly means a lot to me.

If you read, I really hope you enjoy it.

--

Anyway - read my fic! And also - enjoy the Star Wars anniversary celebration day, thing! Here's a really nice litte video that just talks about the original three films, their varied influences, and the effect they had on several generations of nerds, kids and film fans....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25zE6cs2vtw&feature=related


M.B.

The "Lost" Finalie: A Perfect Ending To A Clever Ruse

(SPOILERS AHEAD. DROP ANCHORS, LADS!): I watched Lost from the beginning: the very day it premiered. My preconception was that it was just a show about a bunch of guys, you know, lost on an island after an awesome-looking plane crash. It slowly became something more than that, though, as many will surely know. The first episode gave us so many questions that it still hasn't answered for, but what would follow was best summed up by Charlie. "Guys, where are we?"

I don't know, Charlie. I just don't know.

Basically, I looooved the first season. It was amazing in how it wrote intriguing mystery into its story, how it played with its characters and how in one flashback you could go from hating one person to truly understanding and sympathizing with them. For instance, the ending to the episode "Walkabout" where we discover John had been in a wheelchair was, to me, one of the most powerful and flat-out emotional things I had ever seen in a TV show. Not only that, but it really affirmed that premise that this island was something supernatural. I bought Season 1 as soon as it came out, and remember being so excited when Season 2 rolled around.

I was never really all that excited about it again.

Like a sheep, I was towed around, taunted with answers that I would never get. Got my heartstrings tugged over characters who would later do something so out of character that it canceled out everything I had felt about them. The mysteries became so...vague and absolutely crazy that I just somehow knew that no answer they could give me could possibly work to my satisfaction. In short, I became really annoyed with the show. I knew it was a con. A clever ruse. J.J. Abrams had figured out a way to keep tons of people interested without actually trying.

People try to make the show out to be deeper than it actually is. Hell, even I was trying to figure out the significance of "the numbers" and so on, but the only thing the show ever did was be deliberately vague. Show us symbols and give us words that we could interpret this way and that. Disregarding all that bullshit, the real conflict that the show provided was a worthwhile one: Jack's argument from science, and Locke's argument from faith. It wasn't an argument that either of them were going to win. It was really up to the audience to decide who was right...but, I guess, in the end, Locke was.

I stopped watching Lost over four years ago, and I made a promise that I would tune in to the final episode and see if the show's producers had the stones to answer all the questions they had posed. Well...they didn't. They really didn't. After all the insanity, the greater questions about the true mystery of the island were left hanging in the air. It didn't surprise me. What DID surprise me was how moved I would be by the ending regardless.

I cried. I really did. Because of all the things I was expecting from the finale, I didn't expect a happy ending. And it was. The writers, once again, pulled out something that was noticeably out of their ass, but did it in true Lost form, and made me care somehow. The episode was riddled with little allusions to all the important moments in their characters' lives. Everything worked out for everyone. All the people who died came back (technically) and got the ending that we had always hoped for them. Because, throughout all the bullshit writing, it really was the characters who were the star of the show. No matter how silly the writers got with the concepts and plot points, we were suffering the annoying consequences along with the characters.

The ending was...perfect. As perfect as it could have gotten, given the quagmire the story had eventually become. I've read a few responses where people say that "All the questions were answered," and to that I call BS. Nothing was answered. The island and its working are still as ambiguous as they were when the show began. Nothing's changed. Only the characters have, and the writers brought all their greatest triumphs together into one room, and had them confidently march into the unknown together.

I really can't imagine how else they could have ended the show and still left me as satisfied for having tuned in on that first day. It had me in tears and it still has me all emotional, even many hours after it ended. It was what the Battlestar Galactica ending should have been!

As the light filled the room, as Jack closed his eyes for the last time: it truly was a happy moment.

=)

Draw, Partner: Red Dead Redemption Impressions

I'm a Wild West aficionado. Living in California, ground zero during the Westward Expansion, has certainly helped that interest. Thirty minutes away, you can visit a region near the Merced River where the hills had been blasted away by hydraulic mining during the Gold Rush. Thirty minutes more, and you can visit one of the oldest Wells Fargo offices, the store where Ghirardelli Chocolate got its start, and where there's supposedly an abandoned Pony Express station (though, I dunno where it is). So when I heard this game was actually enjoyable and provided an immersive Wild West experience, I went out and bought it the very next day. And I am not one to impulse-buy brand new video games these days.

My teacher asked us during one of our classes: What is the West? Is it an actual location? Is it California? Oregon Country? Nevada, Utah, or Colorado? Or when we say "West," are we actually talking about a certain essence of it? The gunfights, the saloons, tumbleweeds, and train robberies? The hats and spurs? Maybe, maybe not. We all sorta decided it encompassed everything west of the Mississippi, but it's up to interpretation.

Rockstar Studios has chosen to give us a quasi-realistic interpretation of the Wild West for their game, Red Dead Redemption, because, more often than not, people can't help but think of Clint Eastwood or John Wayne movies whenever the subject is brought up. To most, it was a place where a man's revolver was the only law of the land. Where the day wasn't done until someone was killed in a duel and bleeding out in the sand. By putting this all in a game, they've given us the Western adventure that we've always wanted, or didn't know we wanted.

The story revolves around a man named John Marston, a man hired by the government to bring a wanted outlaw to justice. Things, of course, don't go according to plan. Marston goes and gets himself shot, gets fixed up by a local ranch owner, and proceeds to conjure up a plan to get revenge by enlisting the aid of some of the craziest characters to ever be put to disc. They are the reason the term Motley Crew was coined.

The story leaves much to be desired. It's a MacGuffin-driven plot, for sure, but its enough to allow for some truly great character development. Marston himself is great, but even though he's meant to be the badass gunslinger (kinda), he gets pushed around A LOT. Nearly everyone in this game gives him the runaround and even with the scars across his face, he starts to look like a pussy as the game goes on. Everyone else in the game outshines our main character, unfortunately. You've got the snake oil salesman, a man who's lost his livelihood looking for buried treasure, a lawman, and a drunk weapons expert by the name of Irish. As I said: a motley crew to be sure.

Though the plot is simple and the main character is meh, the twists and turns are great. The voice acting is comparable to the best moments of any BioWare game, and the expert use of motion capture adds quirky realism. It's odd not to be able to react to these cutscenes, since I'm coming down off another playthrough of Mass Effect 2 ( I keep waiting for a Paragon or Renegade option to pop up), but the cutscenes are still magnificent, and manage to draw me in like a really good movie would.

But let's get into the bread and butter of the game, which is the environment. Rockstar practically invented all that a free-roaming sandbox game should be, and they've push it to the limit with RDR. This game is vast, dreary, yet alive. Time passes; day turns into night. Some days will be cloudy, others completely clear. Sometimes you'll be able to see a storm begin to roll in from afar and overtake you with rain as lightning crashes all around you. Trees sway with it, trails become muddy. You could sit there and just watch it all and still be entertained. I know I did for awhile.

Though what you're mostly going to be dealing with the most are trails and open, dusty plains, there is still plenty to see. Sometimes, you'll stumble upon a group of rabbits jumping away to their warren, or deer bounding along, hawks soaring over your head or circling a corpse of something off in the distance. And, yes, you can kill 'em all. Animals of every shape and size can be shot and skinned for hide and other bits so's you can sell them for cash money. You can even get various awards depending on different hunting challenges the game provides.

So, that's the environment, now on to the gameplay. RDR plays almost exactly like GTA 4, so if you're still familiar with those controls, you probably won't have to think to much about it here. Everything handles very well. Most of your traveling will be done on horseback, and though I STILL have some troubles getting the horse to do what I want it to, 90% of the time everything works out.

Throughout the world, you'll have various missions to attend to at your leisure. You have: the main quests, which will open up different parts of the world as you progress; sidequests such as stranger requests, bounty hunting, horsebreaking, or nightly patrolling; games like poker, blackjack, horseshoes, and that one game where you stab a knive between the gaps of your fingers really fast like; then you have the random events. When these random events occur, you'll be given a task on the spot. For instance, you might come upon a bunch of thugs hanging a man who didn't deserve it. You can choose to ride on by, help the man, kill the man, or kill everyone. Which touches on the amount of freedom you have in this game.

Very much like GTA, you can kill just about everyone. You can rob banks, stores, and even trains. You can get your lasso, strap people to the back of your horse, or be a complete douche and drag them behind you for awhile (which I did, yes). You can even do that dastardly deed no villain should ever neglect to accomplish, and that is to tie a woman to the railroad tracks. You can do all that, or you can be the honorable sort, and help people that need it. Stay out of temptation's way. It's all up to you. The game leaves a lot of room for role playing.

But even with the 20 hour campaign, the sidequests, the free roaming, the bounties, the hunting, all of which could keep you busy for 20 hours more...there's still a multiplayer mode. This is basically where it becomes awesome. The world is completely opened up to you, and you're set loose to complete various challenges, missions, or just goof off. By the way, ANYONE can kill you. This whole thing reminds me a lot of the PvP zones of World of Warcraft. You could be sitting there, trying to shoot a certain amount of birds for a challenge and you'll randomly get your brains injected with a bullet. It's certainly not as bad as WoW, where you could get camped for hours, but the game does encourage grouping up.

The first time I tried this, I entered the game and was immediately chased around the world for hours by these two guys. I was alone, but I put up a fight, killing them enough so that I was able to get the high ground every time. Eventually, they invited me to their posse, and we then ran around killing people, completing missions, getting achievements, and riding around in a stagecoach, taking shots at any player who happened to pass by. It was amazing. And you gain XP and levels by doing just about anything, be it riding on your horse, walking, or shooting things.

Basically, I'm really liking this game so far. The story leaves much to be desired, but I wouldn't trade away the marvelous characters throughout. The missions are fun (expect shootouts aplenty), the world is fantastic and creatively designed, and the multiplayer is practically an MMO in itself. (Also, the game gives you items for your Xbox avatar as you unlock certain things! Yeah!) You're getting a huge package when you buy this game, and the sheer amount of things to do will all but convince you that the $60 you shelled out for it was well worth it.

See you, space cowboy.

(EDIT: I should also point out that the soundtrack is spectacular! Case and point: the game's opening scene.)

(ANOTHER EDIT: There's a settlement in the game called Plainview that's packed with oil derricks. Fucking win.)

Too Bad My Shepard Already Romanced A Photo!

(Click to ENHANCE!)

That picture of Tali without her helmet popped up on reddit today, and even though it's probably just some really, really good fanart, stuff like this doth make one ponder: what the hell's under there?

Odd little things about Return of the Jedi

Well, I have the day off work, and it's an absolutely beautiful day. I've just got back from some leisurely stuff I had to do in the morning, and I have the whle day ahead of me! I could go for a swim to get some exercise, prepare my finances and arrangements for my upcoming University course, or just read one of the many classics I've collected for the summer.

I'm watching 'Return of the Jedi' again. And I've managed to justify it to myself as 'research' for a Star Wars fanfiction I'm writing.

As I watch, I thought I'd point out strange little things that make me laugh every time I watch it. To me (and so many people in my generation) the 'Star Wars' trilogy is like an old lover you've become completely comfortable with. You've stared lovingly at its sleeping face so many times that now, you know every beautiful detail, and cherish each one. And there are some strange little pocks and blemishes, that although you find them enchanting, you like to poke at them in the mornings, knowing that the movie won't mind. It's 'Return of the Jedi', after all! It'll just lazily brush its hair, blink, and smile contentedly at you. It's comfortable with you looking at its innermost soul.

(I'll admit I'm totally stealing this idea from Protoclown on I-Mockery.com, but I'll at least point out different oddities!) Like I said, these are things I've noticed, over and over, and which really tickle me for some reason.


1) C-3P0 clearly doesn't speak Huttese

I always liked the scene right at the beginning (after Darth Vader has done freaking out the Imperial SS Officer) where See Threepio and Artoo Deetoo are outside the massive sandy gate to Jabba the Hutt's crazy palace. Lucas and the director seem to be bringing the trilogy full-circle, mirroring the opening of the original film, and once again using C-3P0 and R2-D2 as the audience's eye to the epic story - again honouring 'The Hidden Fortress'. So once again our lovable, bickering peasants are trying to help out the Princess' rebellion, this time by breaking into a giant slug gangster's underground cave lair. Threepio is being a massive wuss about it of course, coming up with excuses why they should just run away and leave Han Solo to die. And then the little eye-robot guardsman comes out of the wall (not unlike the extended version of Return of the King... got my eye on you, Jackson...) and yells urgent gibberish at them.
'Huttese', when you see aliens speak it in the SW films, has always been nonsense made up on the spot. But sometimes the actors really don't seem to be putting any effort into the making-up process, and Anthony Daniels as Threepio cracks me up here every time I see him!

"Artoo.... Deto-ah..." he says to the eye, "Bo... Say... Three Pay Oo-ah..." And already I'm loving his questionable 'translation' of their names. It sounds more like pig-Latin than a mysterious alien language at this point. But then! Then he starts adding the questioning, raised intonations at the end of phrases - and you just KNOW Threepio is making this up as he goes along! "Uhh... too-ta... mishka...? Jabba Du Hutt?"

After this, the eye retreats back into the wall, no-doubt hugely offended by Threepio's semi-racist attempt to impersonate their language by simply speaking English with a silly accent.
It's like that episode of Family Guy where Peter tries to speak Italian - "Ahhh, bibbidy, bobbity!" I bet he doesn't speak the binary language of moisture vaporators, either!

2) Chortle at Threepio's boner

Just a few minutes after C-3P0 has made a fool of himself as a translator, he does it again surrounded by all of Jabba's wierdo friends. When Jabba subtly reminds the audience that he has Han frozen in a block of ice (by pointing at it), Threepio yells out, "Look, Artoo! It's Captain Solo, and he's still frozen in carbonite!!" At this point all the aliens and crooks in the room start laughing for some reason - I can only assume they're laughing at Threepio's terrible attempt at exposition.

3) Skipping droid

Still in Jabba's Palace... I'm always amused by the creepy droid who runs the foundry/droid torture chamber underneath Jabba's happenin' Night Club Cave. It's the way he talks - every time I hear it I laugh because I'm reminded of schoolgirls skipping a rope. "How. Many. Languages. Do. You. Speak!" One! Two! Three! Four!

4) Luke's diabolical smack-talk

Luke Skywalker is one of those heroes who lets his actions speak for him. He was just a wet-eared, geeky moisture farmer, but he was a good enough pilot to take down the Death Star with no training. He has been a Jedi apprentice for about a week, but he dared to take on Darth Vader in a swordfight just to save his buddies. At the beginning of this film he does all sorts, including redeeming his Sith Lord father, defeating the Emperor and killing a giant monster armed only with a rock and a bone. But... before that, he attempts to frighten Jabba by staring him down and issuing very meek threats. I really love how he apparently thinks he can intimidate a gint slug, surrounded by guards, just by walking into his base in a black hood and muttering quietly about what a badass Jedi knight he is, in his whiny, whiny, high pitched voice. His broken-voiced, "This is the last mistake you'll ever make!!" (as he's being led away in handcuffs) makes him sound a lot like a teenager who's just been dumped at the prom. And I love when he glances diagonally toward the camera with his eyes thin like Clint Eastwood, and tries to reassure Han by breathing, "Just stick close to Chewie and Lando. I'm taking take care of everything..." which makes Han roll his eyes sarcastically, and makes the audience wonder if perhaps Luke has been drinking.

But my favourite moment is easily when he dramatically reveals himself to Jabba. The small, black-hooded man in centre-stage steps forward, accompanied by a swell of suspenseful music, looks up, and removes the hood to reveal..... Mark Hamill, in his early twenties, with a fashionable, floppy brown fringe. Whoooah, Jabba, you and your small army of mercenaries had better think twice! You don't wanna mess with this!
Of course, when push comes to shove, and when he and his posse are in the most exposed, dangerous position imaginable, he does kick everyone's arses and single-handedly save the day with his Jedi powers. But absolutely nobody was expecting it! Maybe he's smarter than I thought...

5) Jedi sexism

When Yoda dies, his last words, his very last effort, are "There is another Skywalker", referring to Luke's twin sister, friend, colleage and occasional make-out buddy, Princess Leia. When the ghost of Ben Kenobi hears Luke's doubts (and by doubts I mean lack of bloodlust), he throws his hands in the air, insisting, "You are our only hope!" and that without his efforts, "The Emperor has already won!" It's only when Luke presses the matter that he admits that Leia is his sister - and thus just as suitable to save the Universe as he is.

But then... why didn't they train Leia too? She's clearly just as powerful, and has already demonstrated psychic clairvoyance in the last film. Not to mention that unlike Luke, she is already an accomplished leader of men, strategist and gunfighter! A few scenes later we learn that she's also an incrediblly-skilled motorcyclist, who shows absolutely no fear (or any kind of acting, really) in the face of danger! So now she's equalled Luke's feat at the Death Star, too. Throughout all three movies, she repeatedly demonstrates that she's more experienced, calmer, and much more emoionally detached than Luke. Plus, she's already a senior figure in the Rebellion - so there's no need to coax her into it!

And yet the all-male Jedi leadership seems very reluctant to hire her...

6) Listen with Threepio

I know I'm mentioning C-3P0 a lot... I suppose I just feel that he has no place on Endor. But the movie specially engineers a place for him, by having him use his brilliant translation skills (see above) stop the lovable cutesy Ewoks from butchering and eating Luke, Han and Chewie, and.... God only knows what they had planned for Leia.
For reasons we can only guess at, the Ewoks assume that Threepio is a God, and carry him home on a chair. One odd line from Threepio here is, "But it's against my programming to impersonate a deity!" Who the hell programmed him with such bizarre, specific instructions?! (No, I don't accept it was young Anakin.)

But it's later, when he starts trying to get the (astoundingly impressionable) Ewoks to lay down their lives for him, when I really get confused. To win them over, Threepio decides to have all the Ewoks gather round his chair, and then tell them the entire Star Wars trilogy up to this point. To bring it to life, he waves his hands around as if he had action figues in them, and plays sound effect clips directly from the films. Which is fine (if a bit odd) except for the fact that the enitre story takes him about thirty seconds to tell. Surely that's not enough for them to understand! If I were lsitening, I'd be constantly raising my hand and asking questions, like, "Yes, okay, but what IS a Death Star?" "Is he a bad guy, or what? I understand that he breathes heavily, but what does he do?" and "Can you please go over this 'Millennium Falcon' bit in more detail? We eat raw meat and hunt with stone spears."
There are frequent reaction shots during the story, often of young Ewoks recoiling in fear and awe. But we also see Luke, Han, Chewie and this one Ewok with a pipe, staring at Threepio like he's gone mad. I love those shots! Luke in particular is frowning quite a bit, as if he's about to call 'bullshit!' on the whole story. But Leia, for some reason, is loving it. At one point we see her, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, cosying up to Han and following Threepio's every move with her eyes. Maybe she wouldn't make such a good Jedi after all.

Also about Threepio on Endor:
I notice that everyone is wearing jungle camauflage, except for Han (who is too damn cool for that crap) and Threepio, who is painted bright gold.

7) Watch that officer, he's going places

When Luke hands himself over to the Empire, he's picked up by some stormtroopers and an SS guy with four medals. They decide to put Luke in handcuffs and transport him to Darth Vader, who has just landed. So they take a massive, armoured walking tank through the dense forest and deliver him. And then the SS guy says, "This is a rebel that surrendered to us. Although he denies it, I believe there may be more of them!" Well, gosh darn, that's a smart officer. He's sticking with his gut feeling that the rebels would send more than one guy, EVEN THOUGH the enemy soldier denies it. He's a goddamn visionary.

----

And after that, there really is nothing to make fun of, except the silliness of the Ewok battle. Which surely has been done to death on the internet!

The bits on Endor that don't involve Ewoks as much are truly thrilling. The full-on space battle (featuring Lando and Wedge, both personal favourites) absolutely astounds me. And as for Luke's dramatic confrontation with Darth Vader, the Emperor, and the darkness within himself and his dad... I have nothing negative to say about it. The music in that scene, in particular, really is amazing.

----

One last one:

8) Lando's sad dancing

Video here.

This is something I never noticed until an old friend at University pointed it out to me, years ago. Right at the end, in the very last seconds of the film, all the main cast strike a pose, Street Fighter style, for the camera. Everyone tries to look cool, and sum-up their characters and how they're feeling at the end of this long, incredible, intergalactic civil war.

Except for Lando 'Hey buddy, relax, try this: Colt Malt Liquor' Calrissian, who stands at the back, grinning, and clapping to himself. And throughout the whole ending / celebration scene, he's still doing it. During the famous moment when Luke smiles at the ghosts of the dead Jedi, you can even see Lando there! Clapping and swaying by himself, in the background, completely oblivious to the apparition of Darth Vader a few feet to his left, because he's too busy dancing and trying to get random strangers to shake his hand.

This wouldn't be so funny were it not for the fact that Lando (as played by super smooth Billy Dee Williams in a cape) is easily the coolest character in the movie. It's so strange to see him, right in the second before the credits roll, looking like a big nerd, at the back, dancing like your dad while everyone else is mingling, geting close with their significant others and chatting with ghosts.

--

And if that's not a very funny note to end on, check out this video clip, by someone far, far funnier than me:

Please, Mister Lucas, please incorporate this edit into your next revised version of Return of the Jedi!

Knight's Most Anticipated

With all of my video game options exhausted, and nothing but reading and writing on the horizon, I thought I'd make a little article detailing the releases on the horizon that promise to kill off many hours of my life.

GAMES:

Fallout: New Vegas - I absolutely LOVED Fallout 3. The exploration was top-notch, the story was sufficient while the sidequests were awesome, and the setting is one of the most memorable game worlds ever created. Not only that, but we got five well done expansions that did just that: expanded upon an already great game.

While there are only a few details out concerning Fallout: New Vegas, this new almost-sequel, it seems as though Obsidian Entertainment have figured out most of the more glaring faults of the last Fallout and corrected them. Expect warring factions, more difficulty options, a better control scheme, and deeper writing. This comes from the team that brought us the first Fallout games and the sequel to my favorite game, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic 2 - The Sith Lords. While it wasn't a perfect game, it was by no means a terrible game (all things considered) so I have high hopes about this newest sequel to ANOTHER one of my favorite games. I have faith in you, Obsidian! Do me proud!

Release Date: Fall 2010

Fable III - After avoiding Fable II for as long as I did, I was surprised at just how much I came to love that game in the end. There was just something about it that provided almost everything that I've ever wanted in an RPG. It had a good story, an absolutely gorgeous game world, spectacular game mechanics, and one of the only co-op systems in RPG history. If only a few things were to change before Fable III's eventual release this year, I would be a happy knight. But it appears that Lionhead are interested in topping themselves again, and I wouldn't be surprised if they succeeded.

Fingers crossed for a better co-op system!

Release Date: Q4 2010

Dragon Age 2 - The first game in this series was the only game I've ever played that came close to recreating the magic I felt the first time I played KotOR. Bioware created a game where the characters game first (judging by the gameplay, it might have been accidental). It was very much like a proper D&D adventure, and while a great deal of the game's technical aspects were frustration, I still walked away from DA:O with a very warm feeling of accomplishment and completion.

This sequel has me concerned for a couple reasons. The first reason being the non-expansion that was DA:O - Awakening, which was very much a collection of false promises, wrapped up in a story that was good only because Gaider had a hand in it. To me, it damaged my view of the honorable company I had perceived BioWare to be, and had me concerned that they'd show the same haphazard concern for their legacy when making DA2. Secondly, DA:O was in production for nearly six years before it was released, as imperfect as it was. It will have been less than one and a half years after DA:O's release when DA2 is supposed to come out. We'll see about this. I'm hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst.

Release Date: February 1st, 2011

Poke'mon: Black and White Version - I've been craving a good Poke'mon game for years. Ever since the abysmal Diamond and Pearl Versions, I had all but given up on the franchise, since it, in many years, has shown no signs of originality. It seems that Nintendo are at least taking this sort of criticism semi-seriously, and the new DS entries actually look pretty good! I'm not holding my breath, but I would love for Nintendo to give me any reason to buy another Poke'mon game soon. I'm going through withdrawals!

Release Date: Likely to be Q1 of 2011 for North America

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood - I didn't really care a whole lot for the first AC but its sequel is still one of my most favorite games. Not only did it finally deliver on every promise its predecessor failed to keep, but it doubled down on ensuring that it was historically accurate, making it a joy for history lovers like myself to play through it. Climbing to the top of Il Duomo should rest atop whatever list comprises my favorite gaming moments.

I'm not sure how Ubisoft was able to crank out a sequel for this game so damn quickly, but I'll take what I can get. I'm rather excited to see what else our favorite assassin, Ezio Auditore da Firenze, has gotten himself into these...those days. I'll be keeping my eye on this for sure.

Release Date: November 11, 2010

Alpha Protocol - Another one from Obsidian Entertainment, this is an RPG using Jason Bourne, Jack Bauer, and James Bond (the three "J.B's") as its inspiration, and runs on the same engine BioWare used for the Mass Effect series. It also places a lot of emphasis on its dialogue, while trying to make you feel like a genuine spy, depending on who that spy happens to be in your mind. You can be violent, suave, or calculating, all depending on how you want to play.

But...that's all I know about the game. So, while I'm probably gonna be preordering it, I'm really not sure if I'll actually get it. Red Dead Redemption might rob me of my spendable funds before then. xD

Release Date: June 1st, 2010

BOOKS:

Firefly: Still Flying - Once upon a time, I lamented over the early cancellation of one of the best sci-fi television shows of all time. Now...not so much. As details of how future episodes would have played out emerged, along with how the comics played out, I began to realize that it was best that Firefly ended on a high note. That's not to say I'm not interested to see how the lead writers of the show would have handled the stories. This new book will have a collection of short stories that continue the adventures of Serenity, as well as display things like the earliest sketches of the eponymous Firefly-class starship.

Release Date: May 25th, 2010

God of War - It's a Stover book. 'Nuff said.

Release Date: May 25th, 2010

Test of Metal: A Planeswalker Novel - Not only is this a Stover book, but it takes place in the realm of Magic the Gathering, the lore of which I'm completely unfamiliar with. I played the game a few times, but could never quite get into it. Color me interested, though, to see experience the lore of this game through Stover's eyes.

Release Date: October 5th, 2010

The Black Prism by Brent Weeks- Once upon a time, I impulse-bought a fantasy novel with a kickassassin on the cover. The Way of Shadows, as well as the subsequent books in the trilogy, would change my perspective on books; they made me a more critical reader. The trilogy was a success, though, to me, there was so much that could have been done better. So began my quest to figure out just what made them good to a wide audience, and what my exact problems with the books were.

I even had a chat with the author once after the release of the first novel, which was just plain awesome. It can do wonders to a young author's self-esteem by having even minimal contact with your peers. He's a down-to-earth guy, and was very encouraging to me when he didn't have to be, so I'll be giving this book a fair shot when it's eventually released. Though, its main selling point was that it boasts a color-based magic system, but I'm pretty sure Brandon Sanderson already did that with Warbreaker.

Release Date: August 25th, 2010

MOVIES:

Predators - As a general rule, I watch almost anything that Robert Rodriguez has a hand in (with the unregrettable exception of the Spy Kids trilogy and Sharkboy and Lava Girl). This reimagining of the Predator series of movies sounds like it was truly a labor of love, as Rodriguez has been working on this script for over 15 years, and already, based on what I know, it sounds like he's crafted a retelling of The Most Dangerous Game using Predators, which sounds fucking awesome. Even though Rodriguez isn't directing it, as he's had his hands full with Machete, it looks as though he's still keeping a very close eye on everything. I'm so there.

Release Date: July 9th, 2010

Machete - Again...Robert Rodriguez. This movie is based on the faux trailer that preceded his fantastic Grindhouse flick, Planet Terror. The outcry for a real movie based on this trailer was so overwhelming that he actually, ya know, did it. I'm anxious to see what happens when someone fucks with the wrong Mexican.

Release Date: September 3rd, 2010

Let Me In - I only just recently saw the foreign adaptation of the Swedish vampire love story the other day, and it was...interesting. Hell of a payoff at the end. Now, it looks like Cloverfield director, Matt Reeves, will be taking a shot at an American adaptation. Based on that alone, I really wanted to see this. But now that I know that Hit-Girl from Kick-Ass will be playing the vampire love interest, this is a must see.

Release Date: October 1st, 2010

Paranormal Activity 2 - Without questioning my sanity, know that Paranormal Activity was one of my favorite movies of last year. Not so much because the story was fantastic, but that the filmmakers worked really hard to get it made, and turned out to be damned scary at times (to me, at least). I'm all for a sequel, though I hope they don't go the way of the Saw franchise.

Release Date: October 22nd, 2010

Area 51 - This is actually from the director of the first Paranormal Activity. It will be a found-footage film that revolves around a group of friends who encounter the infamous air force base and the crazy incidents that follow.

Release Date: 2010

Red Dawn - I remember watching the original and loving it long time. It's hard to watch these days, due to its corniness, bit it's still a fun concept. A remake will be coming out this year, this time putting the Chinese in charge of taking us Americans down a notch. Depending on how this turns out, I can almost guarantee that I will also love this movie long time. Very excited for this one.

Release Date: November 24th, 2010

Blackhole...

Okay, so I know I've talked about Matthew Stover like...I don't want to count...but I've talked about him a lot recently. To me, it's been justified and...yeah, that's all that really matters, eh?

I've been reading his fourth (and last) Star Wars book over the past few days. I'm about 100 pages into it and...I really don't know where to rank it right now, but dang. See, there's been something about the other EU novels I've read, and I think I pointed them out in an earlier post. There's that temptation to make the characters something that they're not: realistic. Which is interesting and kind of depressing to think about. Take Matt Stover's Shatterpoint, for instance. Do you think that a story as dark as Mace Windu's would ever make it into a Star Wars movie by George Lucas standards? Hell, no! No goddamn way!

That's not to say the story was bad; it wasn't. Shatterpoint is still one of my favorites. It has a dark story, fantastic characters, a great setting, and celebrates Joseph Conrad's premise from Heart of Darkness...as well as Apocalypse Now. But! and I feel bad saying this: Shatterpoint isn't quite Star Wars. In fact, very few Star Wars novels are actually...Star Wars. It's like Stover woke up one day and realized this and did something that I don't believe any of the Star Wars authors have done yet: make all that's new, old again.

Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor, if its trend of awesomeness continues, might become the BEST Star Wars book that I've ever read, surpassing even Stover's own entries to the EU. Because, simply put, this is Star Wars, through and through. For the first time, I could see all of the scenes playing out in my head as though it were one of the movies, and it comes complete with its own opening crawl to top it all off. I was freaking out all through work today, and I even took the book with me, because it felt as if I had left a Star Wars movie I had never seen before on pause like an idiot.

Not only does this book celebrate the movies, it also turns around and pokes fun at the EU. There are also little references abound. Luke Skywalker and the Jedi's Revenge? Every Star Wars fan should know why this is fucking ace.

I'm gonna stop myself right there before I get too far into it; I need something to include in an eventual review. But I just wanted to point out a few more things. Luke is Luke, Han is Han, Leia is Leia, and Chewie is Chewie. I say this because it's like Stover's novelized a long lost script to some kinda Episode VII. Everyone seems exactly how they were in the movies, which is an amazing accomplishment. Han made me laugh out loud a few times, at a book, a feat that has not been accomplished since Hitchhiker's Guide.

And so, here I am. It's 5 AM, and I should be sleeping, but all I want to do is read that goddamn book. And that, my friends, is a feeling that I very rarely get.

That I Gotta Read This Goddamn Book feeling...I'll think up a better term for it.

Additionally, I was just reading an interview with Stover off on this random ass blog. I wanted to punch this reviewer in the throat. Not only does he ask stupid fucking questions like:

Have you ever been offered, and/or considered, writing a trilogy in the SW universe, and/or maybe be an author in a multi-book series?

Jesus Christ. Traitor, anyone? Do you even know who you're interviewing?

In Traitor, did Jacen actually see a Force ghost Anakin Solo, or was it a manifestation of his mind or possibly Vergere?

Okay, so you remember Traitor now and decide to play stupid about one of the major plot points - and my favorite part of the book.

/shakes fist

All right, I should head to bed...possibly after reading just a couple more chapters.

Book Review: The Crystal Shard by R.A. Salvatore

I had never read a single work of fantasy before I first read The Crystal Shard three years ago (unless you count Harry Potter, which I wouldn't). It all just didn't make sense to me. My mind could not wrap itself around a genre in which magic and elves were the norm. It could not. My friend had been pressuring me to read R.A. Salvatore's books for years and years and I always refused. But one day, I was leaving to stay at my uncle's cabin for a few days and I didn't have much to take with me as a means of entertainment. So I reluctantly took along my friend's old first edition TSR copy of The Crystal Shard.

With everyone asleep and my back to the fireplace, I started reading: and I didn't stop until my eyes were almost completely dried out and tired. Every night, all I did was read that book: the introduction of the drow, Drizzt Do'Urden, sprinting across the tundra of Icewind Dale; the halfling, Regis, carving scrimshaw on the shores of a lake near Lonelywood; Bruenor Battlehammer's crafting of the legendary weapon, Aegis-Fang. All of it was burned into my mind, followed me all the way back home, and invaded my waking thoughts long after I had finished the book. I could not forget what I had read for the life of me. I read the next two books in the trilogy, Streams of Silver and The Halfling's Gem, later that week.

This book, as well as the rest of this trilogy, is so important to me that I'm STILL afraid to read the rest of the series for fear that the story will lose that magic, and I never want that to happen. The Crystal Shard delivers on every promise that its opening poem holds. The characters are unforgettable and unique as they are quirky. The action is fast and wonderfully detailed, which Salvatore is very much known for these days, thanks to his work as a bouncer. The story is good, as well, revolving around a weak almost-mage who happens upon a powerful relic that grants the wretch almost anything he wants in the world, which happens to involve the destruction of the Ten-Towns of Icewind Dale. It's then up to the four friends, Drizzt, Bruenor, Regis, and Wulfgar, to stop him.

Looking back on it three years later, it's not hard for me to see why this series has so many outspoken detractors. There are cliches abound in this debut entry, I won't lie. This was written by a man who must have loved Tolkien as much as I love these books. But, to me, Salvatore is one of the few authors who understand the spirit of fantasy stories: high adventure and how friendship can conquer even the worst of demons. It's the reason why people STILL play D&D, and why World of Warcraft is an international phenomenon, the thought that ordinary people can do fantastic things worthy of legend. To me, Drizzt and the gang are definitely worthy of such status.

I've read a few authors who will say, "Yeah, I read those Forgotten Realm stories, but I moved on." To hell with them, says I. Personally, I don't think I'll ever be able to move on, not until death. Even after all the fantasy novels I've read since, that feeling of pure engagement with this story and its characters that I had will likely never be matched. I still see those four adventurers departing Icewind Dale, taking their first steps on their journey to find the Mithral Hall, and even after three years I'm still running to catch up.

The Crystal Shard
Amazon.com|Amazon.co.uk|Book Depository

The Icewind Dale Trilogy
(includes: The Crystal Shard, Streams of Silver, and The Halfling's Gem)
Amazon.com|Amazon.co.uk|Book Depository

DVD Subtitles

This is just a short blog, but I wanted to gloat!

I'm watching the film 'October Sky' (an anagram of 'Rocket Boys', the original title - neat!) and by the way this movie is fantastic. I'm really loving it - it's a rare thing to see an inspiring feel-good story that genuinely inspires you and makes you feel good. (I have a few complaints about its depiction of trade unions, and I just spotted a single 'aggressive negotiation' but...)

I like to watch films with the subtitles on (I'm not hard of hearing, I mean I like them anyway). I suppose it's a wierd habit, but I have lots of them. I like to read along so I can pay closer attention to the dialogue and picture the script... I dunno. But sometimes you notice oddities in the subtitles. Always there are lots of occasions where the subtitle-writer has shortened lines to make them quicker, and often random changes will be made. It must be a wierd job (I would LOVE to be a subtitle guy.) I used to have this amazing copy of 'First Blood' where almost every line in the movie was completely different to what was written down. The subtitles told an alternative, wildly stupid version of the story, and removed every single swear for some reason. Oh, and they even changed the title line! 'BUT THEY SHOT FIRST!!!'

And I'm loving the subtitles on my copy of 'October Sky'. They're very good, aside from occasionally shortening. But!
This film is set somewhere in the southern United States, but on my version the subtitles have been translated into British English. 'Math' is always pedantically changed to 'maths'... and this is the best part: 'ass' is changed to 'arse', every time! 'Imm'a kick your arse, boy!'

We need this on the DVD of every American film!

-

Makes me damn proud. We may have bad teeth, we may all be football hooligans. We may now be governed by a strange coalition of the party who closed the mines and the party who nobody voted for.

But damnit.

We will correct your spellings with our last breath.

Book Review: Star Wars: Traitor by Matthew Stover

Okay, so I remember when Mister Buch first recommended Star Wars: Shatterpoint to me, and I remember what I was thinking: Star Wars books are obviously a silly concept. I had been talking about Heart of Darkness for some reason when he more or less said, "Hey, you know this one Star Wars book was sorta inspired by Heart of Darkness. Also, I am British." I nodded a bit, confused by such a concept. It actually sounded like a good idea.

I totally impulse-bought the book the next day, I think. Before I started, I was a little uneasy reading about Mace Windu of all people: the Jedi who almost did a lot of things. So, I start reading. The intro of the book drags on. We get a very long Apocalypse Now scene that goes on forever and almost convinces me to put the book down. Such exposition grates on me like some sort of device used for grating cheese...whatever those could be called. (wink)

But! I didn't stop there. I kept going, well into the book, past the part where Mace Windu flips someone off and where he uses his lightsaber to perform brain surgery. I sorta skipped around the giant battle near the end, which took up so much space and had none of the great pacing or development that had taken up every sentence of the past 300 pages, and made my way to the back cover. Wow. That was amazing, I thought. That was like...Wow.

Jedi can do that? STAR WARS can do that?! Was this insane wordsmith, Matthew Stover, allowed to do any of this? Wow.

Star Wars seemed so much deeper, so vibrant, alive. Plausible. No longer was it being communicated to me through rose-colored glasses, through the words of authors who wanted nothing more than to retell a story the way the movies would have, or to show good triumphing over evil, Jedi over Sith, so on. Stover showed me that he could do all of that if he wanted to, but that would be a lie - and the truth.

Basically, shit got real.

I read his novelization of Revenge of the Sith afterward, also by Buch's recommendation, and absolutely adored it. For one, he didn't drag on at all except for two parts, if I remember correctly. The opening battle was very long, but I got into it after awhile, but the second battle over Utapau was daunting as hell. But even with that, I still loved that book. Why? Because I loved Episode III a lot, but it fell just short of my expectations. It's like Stover knew what I wanted out of that movie and wrote the book accordingly. To him, everyone matters. People like Count Dooku aren't evil for the sake of evil, they have motive. Similarly, Anakin's fall makes much more sense this time around; it wasn't just predicated on his love for Padme, it was on account of the expectations that had been thrust upon him, the power that he knew he had, and didn't have. It felt real. I could understand it all, fully.

Also, Palpatine was just an amazing character, as well. He, too, had motive.

After those two, it was awhile before I read another Stover book. I was just in awe. I hadn't been so excited about reading since R.A. Salvatore's Icewind Dale Trilogy or Ender's Game or Foundation. Not only are Stover's books well-written, they have this gravitas about them that makes them properly dramatic. Makes them a proper Space Opera, and almost gives me an image that all of his stories are happening on a stage, complete with a Master of Ceremonies who hops up on stage to set the tone.

Then I read Heroes Die and I sorta stopped caring as much. As I've said, I liked it more for the concept, which was totally up my MMO loving alley. But the thing kept going on and on and on about little, insignificant things. Though there was a good story in there, all the little flaws that were present in his Star Wars books that weren't very noticeable took center stage here. My friend read the book, loved it more than I did, but agreed that the exposition got in the way a lot.

Stover's strength is in his characters and how real they are. And even if you can't sympathize with them, you KNOW who they are. You understand them, and that's where the real drama of his stories come. Like I said, one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever read was seeing Mace Windu realize that all that he's ever been just was not enough to overcome the jungle.

I've had another one of his Star Wars books, Traitor, sitting on my shelf for a long time. The reason for the hesitation: I was still kind of at odd with what I read in Heroes Die and I had promptly forgotten the reasons I loved Stover's books in the first place (not on account of the book, it had just been a long time since I've read them). Also, Traitor is Book 13 in a really long series of books called The New Jedi Order. Who picks up a book so late in the series and starts reading? I do, I guess.

I've read books from the Old Republic and some from the Clone Wars, but I hadn't read any that took place during the New Republic. I was hesitant; I wasn't quite sure how reading about characters I had come to love on screen would work. Thankfully, I didn't need to find out, because this book revolves around a character I had only heard about, never read about: Jacen Solo: twin brother of Jaina, son of Han and Leia Organa Solo. Interesting.

The book, in short, is amazing. Again, it's hard for me to believe that this is actually a Star Wars book. I came to love Jacen Solo as a character and really feel for him as he went through his various tortures, which are crazy to read. The action is top notch and as bloody as Stover was probably allowed to make it. The dialogue is real, witty, and emotional at times. There was one moment where I very nearly teared up, something I'm not sure a book has been able to do to me yet. And even though this is Book 13, I was very rarely lost in what was going on. All that you MUST know is that the New Republic has been fighting an alien race for control of the galaxy: no big surprise there, huh?

This is one of the best books I've ever read. Stuff like this just speaks to me, and I enjoy it when an author like Stover has something to say and not just write. This thing talks about fundamentalism, tradition, the frail divide between good and evil, the true nature of the Force, and how being yourself is paramount to all else in life, and can even land your actions on the list of most epic scenes ever created within the Star Wars universe (which I won't spoil here, and yes, that's a real list).

This book is on my shelf, and there it will stay. I am proud to have read this and infinitely glad that Buch suggested Stover's works to me. Everything he does inspires me in some way: his honesty, tenacity, and his liberal usage of words like fuck and/or shit. He still remains one of my inspirations, and this book has sealed his fate as such.

I'm off to buy the next/last Star Wars book he wrote, Luke Skywalker and the Shadows of Mindor. Reviewers have been tough on him for this entry, but I have a good feeling that it won't disappoint. In any case, I'm really not sure how he could top himself with Traitor. He has two more books coming out this year, both of which I'll list here, both of which I'll be buying.

/end ass-kissing

Star Wars: Traitor
Amazon.com|Amazon.co.uk|Book Depository

God of War (co-authored with Robert E. Vardeman)
Amazon.com|Amazon.co.uk|Book Depository

Test of Metal: A Planeswalker Novel (Magic the Gathering)
Amazon.com|Amazon.co.uk|Book Depository

God of War

I don't know if I've properly conveyed my feelings about Matthew Stover's works...because it's hard for me to go back through and search every article here. But his work really is important to me. His ability to make me instantly aware of what's going on inside his characters' heads is astounding...and frightening. His stories have a lot of action, but they're never about the physical turmoil, it's all mental. You care for his characters' mental state, which is a rare thing for me to experience.

Some writers think it's enough for their characters to lose arms or other various limbs, tricking their readers into thinking Well, that's pretty drastic and life-changing and stuff. But that's not necessarily the case with Stover's works. Sure, people lose limbs (plenty), but there's something tragic about seeing Jacen Solo lose his connection to the Force, seeing Mace Windu helpless or Anakin Skywalker lost in emotion. The real drama doesn't exactly spring up from these people trying to save their own lives, it's about them trying to preserve who they are, which was always much more dramatic to me.

I remember reading his Star Wars books and rejoicing, wondering how a freaking STAR WARS book could make me feel so engaged with what was going on with its story (but I guess that's no real surprise (KotOR)). Star Wars: Shatterpoint was an amazing book to me. The battle at the end was a little much, but absolutely everything before that had me in awe. His novelization of Episode III was just plain inspiring to me. In fact, it was only after reading that book that I decided to write Revan's Shadow. The third book of his that I read, Heroes Die, was brilliant in concept, buuuuut wasn't quite my thing. Traitor helped me remember what I love about his writing, though, and I think said writing benefits from the restraint of the franchise.

Anyway, I love Stover's works, and I have Buch to thank for that. MWS is one of the few writers who inspired me to actually try my hand at novels, and I owe him much more than the ass-kissing that I willingly give him both here and his blog. To that end, I am very excited for the upcoming release of his next novel, a novelization of God of War, which sees its release date on MAY 25th.

Sony has put out a small excerpt from the novel, and I already like what I'm seeing. This is how much I love Stover: I've not played a single second of any of the God of War games and I'm going to be buying this book. He does his research, so I know I won't be lost. Not sure who this other author is who is listed as the co-author, though...hmm.

Here's the link to the excerpt: LINKY!

If you like what you see, you can purchase it at all good bookshops on the 25th. I'll be going the Kindle route this time, so yeah.

Amazon.com|Amazon.co.uk|Book Depository

It's A Wonderful Life: Darkspawn Edition

Mister Buch's prediction was correct! It appears that these Darkspawn Chronicles that Kotaku had hinted at yesterday turned out to be a DLC episode that puts you in control of a darkspawn character of sorts. Not only that, but it works under the premise that you died hardcore during the Grey Warden Joining ceremony in Ostagar.

The story revolves around you, a darkspawn commander of sorts, as you're tasked with destroying the Ferelden capital of Denerim. Along the way, you'll meet up with many of your old friends from DA:O...and punch the shit out of them, apparently. I guess booting up this add-on will probably seem most appropriate whenever one of your party members disapproves with you a little too much, eh?

I'm really not sure what to think of this. I still hate that BioWare insists on making these add-ons that don't really do too much for the story, and only provide a means through which to kill an hour or so. We haven't really gotten an add-on (or expansion, for that matter) that has been able to live up to the majesty of the main game. It's all just been...okay. Now here they are already working on alternative universe yarn. Ugh.

It's really hard for me to put on my Optimist Hat concerning this, but we'll see. I'll give it a fair shake until the reviews start coming in. I'm just silently hoping that BioWare handles DLC a little better come Dragon Age II. In my eyes, they're still getting the hang of it, and they're about at the stage that Bethesda was during Oblivion's reign.

You can read an interview with the lead designer of the add-on over HERE, which pretty much explains what you should expect.

Edit: BioWare has also posted up a trailer for the add-on over at Youtube. LINKY.

Dragon Age: Origins - Darkspawn Chronicles

BioWare must read this blog and not like us very much. That's the only explanation I can give for the semi-announcement of the newest DLC adventure in Ferelden called Dragon Age: Origins - Darkspawn Chronicles.

There are a few choice aspects of the original game that Buch and I agree became annoying. One was the Landsmeet, and the other was the number of similar-looking darkspawn that you had to kill. I find more variety in a bag of M&Ms. But as if to say, "Well, if you do things long enough, you'll like it eventually," they are releasing this package that makes it all too inevitable that you'll be killing MORE darkspawn.

Just like EA/BioWare to sell you a $40 expansion, where you put a permanent end to the Blight, and then turn around and sell you another package where you have to further contain the Blight. They really gotta make up their minds here.

Now...I'm going to try and stay positive. This comes only a day after the announcement of more useless DLC for Mass Effect 2, so I still might be feeling the aftershocks here. The description for this particular chronicle states that it will "extend the life" of the original game, so god only know what the hell that could mean. For now, I will sit on my hands and try not to rant any further. We have two weeks until its release (May 18th), so I'm sure we'll find out more about it in the meantime.

Let's just hope it's nothing like another set of chronicles that BioWare is infamously known for.

Source: kotaku.com

Entitlement: Do We Have It?

It's a debate that's been going on for awhile in the gaming circles. Do some gamers have a sense of entitlement? No, haven't heard of that debate? Then lemme take it a step back: Do you have a right to be pissed when your favorite game gets whored out on DLC Street?

Now we're on the same page.

For full disclosure: I hate DLC. I think it flies in the face of the purity of gaming. Sounds pretentious, yes, but it's true. Nothing aggravates me more than seeing a new slightly-better armor piece pop up on the Xbox Marketplace for Mass Effect 2, especially when it comes months after the game came out! Why don't you just sell me the fucking I-WIN Button when money gets tight?

To that end, whenever one of these armor pieces or horse armor pieces comes out and I get hit by an announcement on my Facebook feed, the arguments are always the same - and not so polite. On the one hand, you've got the people like me, who just don't think it's worth it. Sure a couple bucks for armor on Mass Effect 2 isn't so bad in the grand scheme of things, but why the fuck would I buy that? I've already beaten the game. The DLC that BioWare have released thus far has been slightly better than suck - because it's free. Plus, it's the principle of the thing. I would never pay to make a gaming experience slightly better.

On the other hand, you have the people who are likely going to buy the DLC regardless, and want to turn the argument around and show just how snobby the other side is. The whole, "Quit acting like BioWare owes you shit" argument, which also pisses me off, but whatever. No, BioWare doesn't owe me a goddamn thing. The only thing they owe me is $60 worth of a gaming experience after I walk out of GameStop. That's it. I pay, they provide a service. They don't provide? I take my money elsewhere. That's the beauty of capitalism.

At the same time, I don't like that BioWare think that they can nickel and dime their fans to death by putting out little things like armor pieces. Extra characters and missions? I can begrudgingly get behind that if the price is right. But a list of not-even-just-okay armor pieces and weapons? That's bad business practice to me.

But here's the kind of DLC I can get behind. The Singularity Weapon for ME2 that I got for free when I preordered the game. Honestly, I would have bought that if I hadn't got it for free, because it added a level of entertainment to the game. Charging up that weapon and creating a black hole in the middle of the field that most of my enemies will be sucked up into is amazing to see, and it's fun. The only point of contention there would be that it came out the same day the game was released, but I can understand EA and BioWare taking steps like that to deter piracy instead of resorting to UbiSoft's terrible, 1984-ish DRM system.

Another kind that I like would be Bethesda's expansions for Fallout 3. Despite the mixed reviews on the five expansions, I can tell that they weren't just thrown together overnight. Plenty of voice acting, new weapons and armor, nice action set-pieces, a bunch of new quests, new areas to mess around with: all for ten bucks each. BioWare could learn a thing or two about making an expansion from Bethesda.

So there you have it. But am I wrong to think that way? Many people would think that I have an aura of "entitlement" for wanting a game company that I admire to put out GOOD DLC that doesn't amount to a slight stat upgrade for a game that I've already beaten. Give me a reason to play the game again JUST to use what you've given me, BioWare.

The difference:

"Hey, Knight, we totally just put out some new DLC!"

Eh?

"Yeah! Now you get a slight upgrade to your biotic abilities!"

I, uh...Mmmhmm, I'm gonna pass.

"Okay...ah...Oh! We have this gun that when you shoot it, it creates a goddamn black hole that destroys all the enemies it touches!"

!!!

"And we've created an expansion where you have to fight to regain control of a device that controls the weather!"

Wow! That's...That's from Fable II.

"Nooooo."

Yes, yes, it is.

"Nooooo, come on. You can bring back your dog and everything."

I'm leaving now.