Mr. Buch Gives An Interview

Since he's not likely to post this himself: Mr. Buch recently did an interview with friend-of-the-forum, TerrorK, over at his spiffy-as-all-hell Mass Effect fansite, N7 Academy.

Here be the interview!

Quoth Darth Revan...

I know what you're thinking - once again these chuckleheads are talking about Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. Talking about it with barely contained tears in their eyes, talking about it like it's their first wife who died tragically and who was also their childhood pet. Talking until either they die from talking about it too much, or else Bioware hires them to write a second sequel.

Every time I write a piece of fanfic, I tell myself, that's it. No more of this, now. I'm 26 years old, and it's time I put all my efforts into writing actual fiction, instead of flash fiction about Jedi knights.

Well, I've given up trusting myself on that one, but with a ny luck, this one will be my last fanfic. If so, I'm glad it's about Revan, and extremely glad it's a collaboration with Anthony Lowe AKA Knightfall 1138. See, it was Knights of the Old Republic that brought me to Bioware, and indeed to Star Wars, and then to fanfiction, and then to writing fanfiction, and to my transatlantic friendship with Knight, and to writing, full stop.

All those things will no doubt continue to be big parts o f my life, but I think it may be time for me to leave KotOR alone, and shut up about it.


Over the past week or so, Knight and I have been writing two short stories (which link up together, much like Voltron), in the 1st person and from the perspectives of (almost) all of KotOR's party members, remembering moments from the game, and giving a 'eulogy' to Revan.

The Summer of Applejacks. Notice how Zaalbar is gleefully preparing to decapitate Mission with a machete in this picture.

Here is Knight's - 'Of the Sacrifice'
And then mine - 'Of the Fall'


They're just little scenes, but we enjoyed writing them quite a bit, maybe because they allowed us to say 'goodbye' to a fantastically good Star Wars character, who we now accept is almost certainly not coming back from 'the unknown regions or something, I think he said he was out of cocoa' (thank you again, Obsidian).

It's about Revan - his adventure or her second fall to the dark side depending on which of the two versions you read. But it's told in the 'voices' of the other crewmembers and really (not so subtly) it's about how much Knight and I cherish that videogame, and miss those characters.

If you miss that game too and happen to read it, I hope you notice some of the little nostalgic details we put in there, and go, 'Oh yeah, I loved that conversation / planet / scene too'.

If not, thanks for reading this, the latest in my series of overly sentimental theses about pop-culture and computer games. One thing that I love about KotOR, and its sequel, is how beloved they are, by so many people. When I was looking for a picture for this article, I found hundreds of drawings of Revan and the rest, some of them slightly disturbing and most of them a bit odd, but all of them showing the same love we're trying to reflect with these stories. When we posted the first chapters, they were swamped and covered by competing KotOR stories within hours. Annoying, but wonderful.

I love that people are still going on about this stuff. You know that Revan will make appearances of some kind in the upcoming MMORPG The Old Republic, as he already has in the adverts for it.

But you won't get anywhere sitting around here, chatting up old men all day! Shoo! We should return our thoughts to the mission, please, you know? I will leave you be. I'm here, if you want something done right! You got it. Whatever HK said. Dwooooo.



Once again, here are the links- Of the Sacrifice, and Of the Fall.

We have two chapters each up so far - there will be about five each eventually, and will finish uploading soon.

Mock Effect 2 is up... again!

Remember when I recently announced Clint Johnston's 'Mock Effect 2', the sequel to my bizarrely-popular fan-parody of Mass Effect from a couple of years ago? I'm about to do almost the exact same thing again!

See - there is now ANOTHER Mock Effect 2. This one is written by James Mackenzie (under the screen name Jraym16.)

A few months ago, when I gave up my own aspirations of writing a 'Mock Effect 2', both James and Clint contacted me and asked for my blessing to do the second one and keep 'John and Jane' Shepard alive. Cleverly, I said yes to both of them. In my defence, both of them showed me very, very funny sample chapters.

James has actually been working on his version for as long as his rival, but as of this week he has started posting his work. And - it's still very funny.

So - here is the link to Mock Effect 2: The Other One!

It will be very interesting to see how the two authors handle the premise and characters they've both been writing simultaneously! So far both are amusing me a great deal.


--

And here is a sample from the prologue:

(Below decks, Lt Kaidan Alenko runs through the hallway in a miss-sized white and shocking pink armor. He struggles to get his helmet on which seemingly resembles some kind of death mask. Nearby him, several crewman die in more bizarre electrical discharges, making extremely canned scream sound effects in the process. He finally finds Commander Jane Shepard standing by the escape pods adjusting her own helmet with a new tinted visor.)

Kaidan: Shepard!

Jane: I wish people would use my first name more often. Oh well, I guess it’s better than ma’am. Anyway, the distress beacon is ready for launch. Not sure what good it’ll do but hey. Wait a minute, is that Williams’ armor you’re wearing?

Kaidan: Uh well, I um…er

Jane: You know what, I don’t want to know. But, what’s with the death mask.

Kaidan: Well, Williams’ has been into this emo thing recently…

Jane: So it is Williams’ armor.

Kaidan: OK. I swear this isn’t how it looks.

Jane: Explain later, we’ve got bigger problems.

Kaidan: Will the Alliance get here in time?

Jane: What, with several hours before Admiral BISHOPFROMALIENS gets this signal, a multi hour trip, and a ship raining a death laser beam down on us? Of course they won’t be here!

Kaidan: Oh.

(Kaidan starts spraying the nearby fires with a fire extinguisher. There is a post-it note on it saying “Do not remove from cockpit. –Joker”)

Jane: Get everyone on the escape shuttles.

Kaidan: Joker’s still in the cockpit. He won’t abandon the ship. I’m not leaving either.

Jane: Have you noticed the ship is disintegrating around us?! And why did no one pick up Joker on the way down?! He can’t even walk!

Kaidan: Well, I was trying to find the escape pods. I don’t remember seeing them anywhere on the ship before. There’s no directions or anything.

Jane: Alliance regs specify that escape pods be hidden away behind secret passages, like this one behind the sleep coffins of death.

(Another crewman runs by and is hit by an explosion.)

Jane: The regs also specify that power be transferred through exposed and explosive conduits. Just like back on the Endar Spire right? Oh sorry, I’ve been working on that.

Kaidan: It’s OK Shepard, you’re trying.

Jane: Alright, I gotta go get Joker. Get everyone to the escape pods Kaidan, now.

(She starts to walk away)

Kaidan: Hey Shepard! (She looks around) Thanks for getting my name right.

Jane: (smiles under her helmet) See you down on the planet.

Kaidan: You got it.

Dragon Age! The Musical

I remember seeing Eric Idle's musical Spamalot, based on Monty Python and the Holy Grail earlier this year. I had a good time, but I couldn't help thinking, Gosh! This is fun and all, but if only it were more like my own masterpiece MOCK EFFECT BY MISTER BUCH, the parody that took the world by storm.

Well! I don't know why he hasn't posted anything about it, but Knight has been writing a script parody of the beloved Dragon Age: Origins.

I love script parodies, and this is a very fine one so far. It's about time Knight wrote one!
Sadly fanfiction.net doesn't accept anything in script form because it's beneath their high quality standards (however they do accept porn stories about Pokemon).
But we can at least advertise it here, for what that's worth ;)

Here it is - Dragon Age! The Musical

And here's a bit of it:


[You, That Guy, and That Other Guy sit down while Alistair moves to stand next to the altar.]

DUNCAN: As part of the Joining, Alistair will recite the words that have preceded this ritual every time since the beginning. Alistair, if you would.

[Alistair clears his throat and lowers his head.]

ALISTAIR [solemnly]: Na Na...Na Na Na Na...Hey Hey Hey...Goodbye...

DUNCAN: And so we proceed. You, That Guy, please step forward.

[Duncan holds out a chalice filled with lyrium-enriched darkspawn blood.]

THAT GUY: You...want me to drink that?

DUNCAN: It is the blood of the darkspawn that gives a Grey Warden their power. It allows you to sense the taint, giving you the ability to sense the darkspawn themselves. It's completely safe.

THAT GUY: Really? It's safe?

DUNCAN: Oh my, no. Down the hatch.

ALISTAIR: Drinking the blood gives us the only tool capable of impeding the darkspawn advances.

THAT GUY: I don't see how. How does being able to sense an army numbered in the thousands give you any sort of advantage? That's like being able to sense when it's going to rain.

ALISTAIR: Well, you don't have to, I guess. We thought you were a cool guy, but I guess we were wrong.

DUNCAN: Indeed. He did seem like a cool guy when I invited him to join, but that does not appear to be the case. He's lame.

THAT GUY: That's not true! I'm totally cool! Watch!

[That Guy drinks the entire chalice and slams it back on the altar. His smile is wide for a moment, until he begins to feel the effects. He crumples to the ground.]

THAT GUY: Damn you...peer pressure. You've done me in again...

[He dies.]

WARDEN: Wowsers.

THAT OTHER GUY: No! No, no, no!

[That Other Guy withdraws.]

THAT OTHER GUY: No, I won't do this! You never said anything about this!

ALISTAIR: That's too bad. We thought you were a cool guy.

DUNCAN: I, too, thought he was cool, but he appears to be nothing but an anti-Fonz.

THAT OTHER GUY: No, I won't give in to your peer pressure so easily.

[Just then, Duncan sprints from the altar, descends on That Other Guy, and drives his blade through the man's gut. As the life begins to drain from That Other Guy's eyes, he spots a cherry blossom tree on the other side of the platform. A breeze whips through its leaves, sending pink pedals into the air.]

THAT OTHER GUY: ...Perfect...[He slumps.] They are all...perfect...

[He dies. Duncan wipes his fingerprints off the blade and places it in That Other Guy's hand.]

DUNCAN: It was suicide. You all saw it, right? [He glares at you.] Right?

WARDEN: If I can get through this Joining without dying, then I didn't see a thing.

DUNCAN: That's what I like to hear.

Mock Effect 2 is up and online...!

... and I am very impressed.

Regular readers of my blog entries will remember at the beginning of this year, me dilly-dallying about whether or not to write a spoof of Mass Effect 2, considering the bizarre and ego-boosting success of my parody of Mass Effect in 2007/8 - Mock Effect.
I spent ages going back and forth, trying to decide whether or not to do a sequel. I made a huge fuss about it and attracted a lot of attention to myself, which was secretly the whole point of the exercise.

But I was always quite sad that the concept and the characters of John and Jane Shepard died there, with my creativity.

OR DID THEY!

I really should have mentioned this ages ago. Fittingly, John and Jane have been ressurected by the beautiful Australian scientist/marine that is Clint Johnston.

Clint has been writing Mock Effect 2 for months now, and uploading each chapter as he goes. And honestly, it's very very good. If you enjoyed the first one - here is the improved sequel. It's teriffically funny, painstakingly well-observed, and very kindly brings back the Shepard twins exactly as I wrote them. It was a very nice moment when I first started reading this - seeing those characters still going and still just the same.

Because fanfiction.net doesn't allow script-format stories/parodies, Clint has been uploading at Bioware and the Mass Effect Fanfic Forums (the home of Mock Effect 1).

Here's an excerpt :D

---------------------

(The Turian in front of them holds up a finger, and the team waits impatiently as he takes out the last remaining mercenary. He then turns to them and dramatically removes his helmet, revealing GARRUS VAKARIAN)

JOHN: Oh shit. I’m out of here. Hey, guys, you can kill him now. We’re sorry!

JANE: Not so fast now. Maybe he’s not as boring as he used to be.

GARRUS: Guys, I’m right here. I can hear you. How come you aren’t dead?

JANE: We’re not… anymore… I think. I’ll explain it later.

JOHN: No thanks to you, Mr. I’ll-Shoot-My-Rescuers…

GARRUS: You were part of a heavily armed attack force that has spent the better part of the last few days trying to kill me. I was supposed to notice you were different? Thanks for shouting that out by the way, I got in a lot of shots at shocked mercs.

JANE: (dryly) No problem. No offense, but what the hell are you doing here? In Game 1 you at best a mediocre human shield, at worst, you were nearly killing hostages.

GARRUS: Don’t worry, I still do that, but I’ve picked up some new skills. I got tired of C-Sec and all it’s bureaucratic crap…

JOHN: Oh come on, not this again!

GARRUS: So I decided to come out here and lay waste to all the criminal lords in the area. Back at C-Sec, we never had decent sniper rifles.

JOHN: (suddenly paying attention) Actually, that doesn’t sound so bad. Shooting people interests me.

JANE: I don’t imagine that went over well.

GARRUS: Er… no. I’m throwing a major kink in their operations, not to mention the fragile local economy. But killing mercs is hard work. I’ve had to study up on gangland tactics. Would you believe that Eclipse uses cement shoes for disposing of undesirables? It’s all very impractical. Have you any idea how long cement takes to mold?

JANE: (mutters) Probably as long as it will take archaeologists to find our bodies. (aloud) How did you wind up with the name Archangel?

GARRUS: The locals gave it me for… for….(searching for a logical reason) all my good deeds.

(JANE raises an eyebrow)

GARRUS: (sigh) I don’t know. It just sounded badass. “The Punisher” was taken. I tried to call Wrex for some name ideas but he’s been very busy lately. Something about his new writing career.

MIRANDA: Well, if you three are finished with old home week over there, the robots climbing over the wall might need your attention.

JANE: Well it was polite of them to wait until we ran out of topics.

JOHN: Ooh, robots. Can I see?

(GARRUS hands him the Sniper Rifle. JOHN headshots a robot, exploding it in the middle of its compatriots. JANE, MIRANDA, and ZAEED join in, leaving nothing but spare parts lying around.)

GARRUS: I’m just going to take a nap on the couch over here. You guys keep up the good work. (Immediately falls asleep)

JOHN: Jackass. He thinks withstanding a siege for days on end gives him an excuse to nap?

JANE: Well… remember the Alamo! Let’s get ready to fight!

Serenity will rise again

Knight made me feel pretty good the other day when he put up a link here to my new fanfiction. Luckily, the situation is right to return the favour.

Knight's Firefly new fic, 'Take the Sky' is, I think, the best fanfic he's written so far (well maybe except for The End is Neigh), and also the one he's working on now!

If you like Firefly and weren't happy with letting Mal's story end the way it did in the movie... as Knight was not... then..... here is a Frefly fanfic that's better than some episodes, I swear by my pretty floral bonnet. Read it.

Take the Sky

Vibroblades and Mirrors

Since Buch isn't gonna do it, I WILL!

Mister Buch recently finished a piece of fanfiction based on the haphazard ending of Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords. It's a great piece that pretty much gives the characters an ending that I can actually agree with. One that I actually teared up at. *sniff*

Instead of the real ending, where I was so distraught I could have flipped a fucking table!

(ﾉ ಠ益ಠ)ﾉ ┻━┻

Anyway, this was a great story, so I'm going to throw up the link here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383123/1/Vibroblades_and_Mirrors

Give it a read! Seriously!

Fanfiction Shenanigans

I finally finished my Star Wars fanfiction!

I've been working on this story, on and off, for seven or eight months. It really feels wierd to leave the characters behind now.

--

I just realised that I've been writing internet fan-fiction for just over 2 1/2 years. I really had no idea it had been so long... but I happen to make a note of the starting and finishing dates for all my pieces of writing.

And it made me nostalgic. I'm going to drag this story out, so here we go.

A few years back, I was seriously depressed, studying Psychology (a subject I was really bad at) at University and very lonely. As a kid my hobbies had been writing/drawing little comic books and playing Nintendo. As a teenager I had more or less stopped playing Nintendo and instead obsessed over TV and film comedies. I saw this as 'growing up'. When I was at my most miserable, I started to miss the Nintendo and I bought a second-hand X-box and a copy of Star Wars: Jedi Outcast. It was a 3D shooting/platform game I had played at my mate's house, which was fairly ordinary except for three things: Billy Dee Williams was in it, you could get a lightsaber which would actually mark the walls if it touched them (OMG), and John Williams' amazing 'Star Wars' score played every time you were in a gunfight.

I loved the game, and I suddenly gained a deep appreciation for the original trilogy of Star Wars films. In the game you got to drive an AT-ST, shoot at stormtroopers, fire lightning from your fingers and choke people to death, talk to Luke Skywalker, and explore the galaxy far, far away as a rough, wise-cracking 'Just a guy with a lightsaber' who, of course, eventually matures into a proper Jedi knight. Unlike most Jedi, he matures by eviscerating several hundred enemy troops, but there you go.

Hungry for more, I went out and bought the game right next to it on the shelf - Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I think Knightfall and I have told this story to death, but I really liked the game. I started watching the movies more and more, and even became extremely fond of the 3 new prequel movies. When Revenge of the Sith came out, I skipped an exam (the anticipation for which was crippling me) to watch it. The movie was just good, but the experience was one I will always remember. At the very height of my Star Wars fandom, and in my saddest days, I saw a Star Wars film for the first time, on the biggest of big screens.

Three years passed, in which I dropped out, came back, dropped out again, developed a hobby playing Bioware role-playing videogames and fell in love. At the start of 2008, inspired by comedy websites I loved and egged-on by my brother, I started up Microsoft Word and dashed out a parody script to Episode 3 - 'Revenge of the Angst'. (I took it offline eventually when I re-read those websites and realised I'd subconsciously ripped some of them off). But I had a lot of fun writing it.

The joy of writing it made me read more. I slowly made my way through a few books, and then a glut of Star Wars books. In the first half of 2008 I wrote two more pieces - a giant parody script of Bioware's Mass Effect and a short Star Wars story about a werewolf on Tatooine. The latter was terrible, but the former was actually really successful.

'Mock Effect' got me over a hundred reviews from people who had read it, and that just blew my mind. This was the best time of my life. I was madly in love, not at University anymore and writing comedy which was being read and enjoyed by lots of people. The parody script even led to a fanfiction website being created to house it, which has now outgrown it to become an awesome community and an excellent Mass Effect fansite.

Needless to say, my ego swelled massively. I began writing more and more (fanfic), trying out different styles and genres, and reading a little more still. At the same time in 2009, I wrote my second big project - a 35,000 word story about... Mass Effect. Mass Effect is a very good game. That year I also wrote a few little poems, more fanfics and a short story with a completely original concept.

Now we're halfway through 2010. I'm starting a new course next year, studying English and creative writing. I have been wanting to leave fanfic behind, and move on to become a serious penniless amateur writer still living with his parents.

I've found it very hard to get started on new original stories, and ended up leaning back on fanfic. I was happy to 'move on', but there had always been one story concept at the back of my mind, since way back when I played Jedi Outcast. I had always wanted to write a story about a Guy With A Lightsaber.

It would be about an ordinary civillian who finds a jedi laser-sword and has a brief, low-level adventure fighting the Empire. It would be set right before the time of the original films, but it would incorporate the Jedi mythos that had come into it in recent years, and dominated the novels I loved.

-

So - my new Star Wars fanfic - also probably my last fanfic - Star Wars: A Thousand Generations. Yes, this big, personally-revealing biography was nothing but a cheap plug for my new fanfic, Star Wars: A Thousand Generations. Works every time.
Now, I don't claim you can have a better time with Star Wars: A Thousand Generations than without it.... but why take chances?

It's another big writing project (31,000 words) and it's finally finished.

--
--

Now... I don't know what's next! Hopefully a lot more writing, in any case. I really enjoy it.

STAR WARS! And... new fic: A Thousand Generations

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....
Grand Moff TARKIN tirelessly searches for Rebel threats to the evil GALACTIC EMPIRE. Meanwhile at the dark heart of the Empire, middle-aged pilot MARI DALTO recovers a forgotten relic of the Jedi knights....

---

Today is the anniversary of the release of one of my very favourite movies (and I know Knightfall loves it too) Star Wars. AKA Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.

It's just such a brilliant film - the perfect, fun action film. It's a tongue-in-cheek but lovingly-crafted homage to Arthurian legend, Kurosawa's samurai movies, Westerns, World War 2 films, medieval fantasy, classic science-fiction and, best of all - the old Flash Gordon adventure serials. It shamelessly steals concepts, characters and scenes from all of these, but mixes them together so beautifully. It has Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher and Alec Guiness in it, it has one of the best music scores you'll ever hear in your life. There is a fighter-plane dogfight, there are shoot-outs... robots... a saloon with crazy aliens in in. The villains are Peter Cushing and a seven-foot tall, half-robot, black-armour-wearing space Samurai with magical powers, a red laser-katana that he wields like a broadsword, and the voice of James Earl Jones.

We've talked about Star Wars a lot on this blog, but with good reason. It's such a big part of sooooo many people's childhoods. It's a pop-culture phenomenon like no other, and changed movies for ever.

And I grew up watching it, over and over and over. And I never got bored. Here I am, so many years later, watching it yet again and barely to take my eyes off it. Earlier today I was reading a novel based on it, and after that I wrote a chapter of my fanfic based on it.

---------

Yes, my new Star Wars fanfic... is HERE!

I just launched the story on fanfiction.net - and just a minute ago realised that today is the original movie's anniversary! How's that for timing, eh? It's the will of the Force, man.

I swore I'd finished with fan-fiction, but I always felt there was one fic I should have done. Or should have finished. I had the idea for 'A Thousand Generations' years ago, and worked on a couple of versions of it, which were all abandoned.

Now I'm writing it for real. It's a short (about 10 chapters) adventure story, set a couple of years before the original film, and attempting to tap into its style. Like the first movie, it's about a confrontation between the evil Empire and the American Rebel Alliance. And like the movie, it's told from the perspective of two ordinary people who get dragged into the fight.

It's about a middle-aged transport pilot (space Fed Ex) and her part-time student employee who find an old Jedi lightsaber and get mixed up in the Rebellion. It's about the war, but the subplot is all about the Jedi - specifically I'm trying to explain why various characters in the film don't 'believe' in the Jedi and the Force, only twenty years after seeing Samuel Jackson being hurled out of a wndow by lightning.
So - it's a fun, dark adventure story, with a lot of mention of the Jedi's role in the 'dark times' of the original films.

I've been trying to capture the spirit of that first film - the space battles, the heroic Rebels and hero's journeys, funny droids and fiendish, Nazi-like villains.

If you're interested, please give it a look! This really is a labour of love for me. It's supposed to be my last entry on fanfiction.net - a final attempt before I commit to writing proper, original fiction. So - this one honestly means a lot to me.

If you read, I really hope you enjoy it.

--

Anyway - read my fic! And also - enjoy the Star Wars anniversary celebration day, thing! Here's a really nice litte video that just talks about the original three films, their varied influences, and the effect they had on several generations of nerds, kids and film fans....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25zE6cs2vtw&feature=related


M.B.

New Fanfiction: The Price of Salvation

Just as a quick note, Mister Buch and I have put together a short Dragon Age fanfic that parodies the DLC system integrated into the game. BioWare thought they were being clever, I bet, but it resulted in one of the grandest frustrations ever in a game. IN EVER!

Okay, I'm exaggerating. It was more along the lines of bitter annoyance. In any case, here's the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5895431/1/The_Price_of_Salvation

Enjoy! Let us know what you think!

"The Last Messenger"

Against my better judgment, I'll be starting another fanfic, which will be set in the the Dragon Age universe. I've been thinking about writing a dark/sad story within that setting for awhile, mostly because I've been hyped up on the game again, and I'll likely be riding said hype well into the near future.

I'm still unsure if I'll be able to get it fleshed out, so it'll probably be a short one depending. Still thinking about how I can have it collide with the main plot of the game without being too gimmicky. It also gives me something to do during those times when I can't be bothered to write for my original novel, which is well on its way to 100,000 words now.

Working on Chapter One for the fanfic currently, but there's no telling how quickly I'll get it finished. Want to tweak the plot a bit before I get too far into it.

But for anyone who's interested, it can be found heeeere: LINK

Mock Effect 2......

An announcement regarding 'Mock Effect 2' - my planned parody of 'Mass Effect 2'

I feel awfully silly making an 'announcement'... But this is my blog so I will prattle on for hours, going into far too much detail and getting vaguely emotional.

I'm almost certainly not going to write a second 'Mass Effect' parody. If I do it will be months from now.


About two years ago I wrote a parody script, full-length, spoofing the brilliant Bioware RPG 'Mass Effect'. I chose the very witty title 'Mock Effect'. Mirth Effect was also a contender. Seriously.

The parody format was based very much on my favourite ever piece of fanfiction - "Yet Another KotOR Parody" by Helena L.

http://hawk.kotorfanmedia.com/node/1593

It really was just an attempt to emulate the joy I got from that parody - in Mass Effect form.

Anyway, it went down extremely well among Mass Effect fans, and I got a ton of feedback - vastly more than I ever have for anything else I've written - most of it praising me highly. It was a big surprise for me. I even got a compliment on it from Helena L.

This feedback gave me confidence as a writer and the experience of writing it really improved things for me in general. After it was taken down from fanfiction.net (they don't allow scripts) it was given a new home by one Rascarin, who set up a forum to house it and other fanfic.

Rascarin's ME forum is now sooo much more - it houses lots of great fanfic, a lot of friendly, lively Mass Effect and game discussion, and a fantastic community. And it's where I've made some of my closest friends.

http://masseffectfanfic.proboards.com/index.cgi

And I always assumed there would be a 'Mock Effect 2'. After all, I really enjoy reading positive reviews telling me I'm funny! It rarely happens, except for Mock Effect.

Having now played Mass Effect 2 a decent amount, I've finally come to a decision. And believe me, I have been thinking long and hard about this.

------

So - there will be no Mock Effect 2.

It is mainly a time issue. I have a decent job now, and some other bits and pieces at home taking my time and effort. And I have an English degree coming up later this year, hopefully. All in all, I just don't have enough free time to write more than one thing at once.

And I want to write original stories with the time I have. I am trying to really learn and make it work as a writer. I need practice.

Also - I have to say - Mass Effect 2 is a really well-written game, with excellent dialogue and very few plot holes to exploit. With one or two exceptions, the characters are brilliant and perfectly-played. And while I feel the plot lets the game down, espescially at the end, there isn't a great deal to make fun of.

------

This decision has actually been made difficult because people (sometimes people I don't even know) have asked for a sequel, or wondered aloud when it will come or what it will contain.

To those people, and to anyone who read 'Mock Effect' - thank you! It means so much to me, as a would-be writer, to hear that kind of praise from peers and fans of the game.

------

So there will (very probably) be no Mass Effect 2 parody. If I can find a way to make time later in the year I will. But I don't see that happenning.

(waves hand)

You don't want me to write a ME 2 parody...







(Good GOD that was self-indulgent. Sorry.)

This is why I write fanfiction

Because when you write original stories, people don't send you messages that say this-


Dear Mister Buch, I do belive that you should consider professionally writing material. Your denying yourself a chance to spread this level of writing to everyone else. Simple, virtually flawless, belivable and charmingly addictive. Its a rare thing, even amoung the top quality gems to be found on FFN, to see concise writing like this, I think the best word for it is succinct. In all honesty, this is superlative work, so much so that I actually feel a little guilty because I did not pay for it. I will look forward to reading your other works, and would like you to know you have my respect.

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I had to post here specifically to boast childishly about that. It's probably the best review I've ever had, from a stranger anyway. Even if he did mis-spell 'you're', it's an incredibly nice thing for him to have said, and a massive ego boost for me.

15 Fun Fanfic Facts

This evening I have set myself the task of educating you with a select fifteen titbits of my fanfiction-related knowledge!

Sit back, dear reader, and prepare to be educated.

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1) Fanfic is short for 'Fan Fiction' - often inaccurately written as 'Fanfiction', for instance in the title of this blog, and on Fanfiction.net.

2) The term 'fan fiction' itself derives from the Greek fanaticum fictatas, which translates literally to 'Writing yourself into Wrath of Khan'.

3) In the famous fic 'Doom: Repercussions of Evil', many people miss the famous, deceptive and subtle twist. It's that John is the demons.

4) There are currently 78 fanfics in the world. Over 50 are about Twilight.

5) To qualify as 'fanfic', a story must contain at least three spelling errors.

6) Successful, published fanfic authors include Dan Brown, who for several years has been writing excellent Dan Brown fics.

7) 99% of fanfiction stories are written on Microsoft Word.

8) Fanfic writers are unnaturally attached to reviews. In some cases, they have been known to slip into comas after prolonged periods without any reviews. It is possible to revive these cases by repeatedly saying "I LOL'd" in a reassuring voice.

9) The earliest known fanfiction was a drawing of two antelope found on a cave wall in Argentina. It bears a striking similarity to another, more famous image on a nearby cave, but in this one the antelope are having sex.

10) Famous, secret fanfic writers include Mike Tyson, Germaine Greer and Abraham Lincoln, who wrote a short Silk Spectre II/Rorschach piece on the back of the Gettysburg Address.

11) A recent study found that crossover fics are all rubbish.

12) The Oxford English Dictionary defines 'Fanfiction' as, "Absolutely not. No. Tell Charles there is no way in Hell I'm allowing a contraction of a made-up phrase beginning with a seperate contraction - and used to describe something that my own nerdy cousin, who still lives with his parents at 42, finds uncool and beneath him - into the Oxford English Fucking Dictionary. - Ed."

13) Fanfic was often written on long sea voyages to pass time. During the Napoleonic Wars, there was a slew of Nelson/Hardy slash, inspired by the rumours.

14) The popular fanfic term 'Mary Sue', meaning an unrealistically wonderful protagonist, is named after Mary Sue Jonsson, a nurse who travelled across the United States rewarding skilled and underappreciated fanfic authors with cookies and thank-you cards during the 1950's. To this day she is revered almost as a patron saint.

15) Writing and reading fanfiction is really good fun, and not nearly as nerdy as people think. It's creative and it helps writers improve. There are hundreds of wonderful stories online for free. Have a look at FF.net.

Join in with our mass-collaborative fanfic!

Over at the Mass Effect Fanfic Forums AKA 'Rascarin's Shack' (I will be pushing to make that the official name) we play a game - please come join in!



It's called the One Sentence Story.
We're writing a jokey Mass Effect fanfic, between all of us - each of us writing one sentence at a time. Someone writes a sentence, then it's up to someone else to volunteer to write the next one. Then someone else, and so on.

As a result of so many writers, it constantly veers on the ridiculous with people making wierd gags and trying to outdo each other with impossible-to-follow sentences.

We did this before earlier this year, and it was a big success. We got new members and became a more social and chatty group as a result.

We recently started again - and it occurred to me to advertise a little here! The new Mass Mass Effect Story is called 'Attack of the Scones' and you can see it HERE.

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The first story was so good we unleashed it upon Fanfiction.net - where it bewildered and amused the Mass Effect crowd.
HERE IT IS, reviews and all.
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So if you fancy contributing a sentence or two, click the link at the top of this article, sign up to the forum and post away.