Disingenuous Discussions: "Revan, Cover Art, and Kurt Russell."

Buch: So, today we're bringing back our Disingenuous Discussions column, because we want to complain about the cover for the new Star Wars videogame tie-in novel, Revan by Drew Karpyshyn.

Knight: Indeed. There is much wrong with this, and we want to tell you why you should be angry, as well. And then buy it, like we inevitably will.

Buch: I actually quite like bad book covers - sometimes I've deliberately paid more for a copy of a book with a silly cover. And compared to a lot of Star Wars books, this one is not too bad. But we do enjoy hating things that we financially support.

Knight: Right, they could've gone with the same artist that made up the nightmare-inducing cover for Darth Bane: Rule of Two.

Buch: Exactly. That was the same author, and it was easily the worst cover I've ever owned. But Revan here does look like he's holding onto the support railings on a bus.

Knight: It kinda looks like he's afraid of the lightsaber. Keeping it at arm's length, like Indiana Jones would hold a snake.

Buch: Looks like he's trying to read the serial number off the back.

Knight: So he can return it for the one he actually uses in the game.

Buch: To be fair, in the game, everyone just uses plain white ones in the wrong shape.

Knight: Yeah, well, I'm not here to listen to reason and logic. I'm here to trash this on the grounds of irrational nostalgia.

Buch: That's basically all we do. And Darth Revan is usually involved.

Knight: In some negative way. He's our President Obama.

Buch: Do you think Revan looks overweight in that picture?

Knight: Like he ended up eating the rogue gizka on the Ebon Hawk. In one bite.

Buch: I don't think there's any need at this point explaining why Revan is so important to us. But it is important to know that he's a really big deal and the two of us really care about his story. Here we have the writer who invented him, apparently continuing the largely user-defined and non-specific role-playing game character's story, but in a novel. On the one hand, I'm extremely excited to learn what happened next - the Knights of the Old Republic series always had an unsatisfying lack of an ending.

Knight: Agreed. No endings I could really latch onto. And Revan is a really big deal, you're right. His story was intriguing not only on its own, but because it was open to so many interpretations. Revan could be unique to everyone. So it's... odd, I guess, that they're deciding to so openly set his character in stone.

Then again, there's money to be had.

Buch: They've got to have money. And really, I think I'm glad about the book. Frankly, I don't rate Karpyshyn's previous SW and Mass Effect novels much at all, as much as I adore his work on the games. And as you know, I have a real 'thing' about going back to a story after it has concluded to my satisfaction. I think Knights of the Old Republic 2 was a disappointment. I like to leave stories alone - very opposed to sequels, especially after time has passed. But I'm excited to read this. I don't know why. You?

Knight: I'm excited to be given any reason to delve back into the "Realm of KotOR," I suppose. The Old Republic is three centuries removed, The Sith Lords focused on the Exile, and Bane was an idiot. This'll be the first real... anything to represent a true sequel to KotOR. So, I'm excited, even if the form this project eventually took isn't really to my liking. There were other stories to tell in that time period.

But if any of the original party members show up in the book, I will probably clap and scream like a girl at a showing of Twilight.

Buch: I am very attached to 'my' Revan - the girl with the blue eyes and black ponytail who looked a bit like Barbara Streisand, carried a yellow lightsaber and sometimes turned out dark side. It will be a stretch for me to accept Revan is now absolutely, no-arguments, officially a handsome, heroic white man, as I assume he will now be.

But yes - seeing HK-47 or Canderous or whoever will just be wonderful. And even seeing the classic Revan costume there - odd choice of lightsaber aside - makes me feel like this will be more of a sequel than anything. Which is probably why it's on that cover, despite the continuity questions it raises.

Knight: Either they know something we don't, or we know something they don't. Or maybe it's a case of, "It's Revan on the cover. They'll buy it anyway."

Buch: But if Revan weren't on the cover, or his armour wasn't there, how would you be feeling?

Knight: They could've shown Revan's face for the first time. In that case, I probably would've dug up my torch and matching pitchfork. So, it sounds like on a basic level, they were still thinking about the fans. However minimally.

Buch: I like that the armour is there. But I'm sure it makes no sense that he would wear it after the events of the games - after his return to the Republic. There is no denying that this cover is silly.

Knight: I agree. Maybe we make up a very small camp of folks (along with the KotOR fans back at the ME Fanfic Forum) that would actually get pissed at something like this. The lack of the Juyo lightsaber form on the cover, the green blade, the inexplicable lightning in the background, as you pointed out, makes it hard to even place this in the timeline!

Buch: He's at some kind of Sith reunion during an unbelievably heavy thunderstorm. On the Shadow Broker's spaceship. And it's windy out.

Knight: Everyone knows that wind is a severe problem inside... spaceships.

Buch: I just noticed that there is blue lighting above him and red below him - that's actually kind of a nice touch, considering that the character was constantly switching sides, and the game was largely concerned with which way the player chose for him. Reminds me of the level-up screen.

Would have been nice for his damned lightsaber to have been one of those colours, though.

Knight: There was pretty much only one color they could've picked for his blade that wouldn't have fit with anything we know about Revan. Green is that one color.

And purple. But Mace Windu's badassery was not yet known to this galaxy.

Buch: Green lightsabers are cool because Luke Skywalker's sword was green. Luke Skywalker is cool. I hate purple lightsabers.

Knight: I hate your cat.

Buch: And I think you'll find that Mara Jade actually invented the purple lightsaber. Plus - I hate all cats.

Knight: Mara Jade invented a weird way for a Jedi to die. That's her contribution to the New Republic, in addition to Ben Skywalker.

Buch: All silly things, I think. I don't like purple lightsabers, and I don't like sequels to Jedi. Where were we?

Knight: Uh.

Buch: We are ace journalists.

Knight: Dragon Age 2?

Buch: Dragon Age 2. Fuck that game.

Knight: Fuck that game complete.

Buch: Not complete. Two-thirds.

Knight: 66%

Anyway, Revan! So, all of that aside, Karpyshyn and the New Adventures of Revan. How about some closing thoughts?

Buch: I think I would have preferred that title: 'The New Adventures of Revan.' It would have been poor, but at least it would have been interesting. 'Revan' as a title just emanates laziness. 'It's a book about Revan - whaddya want? There he is, look - see the Revan costume? Yeahhh.' But really, as I say, Star Wars book covers are usually pretty lousy and involve someone we know, in a costume we know, holding a lightsaber in a threatening manner. That's how it goes. It's just not an encouraging sign.

Because Revan to me is more important than your Ben or Anakin Skywalkers - he's up there with Luke and Han (and maybe Gandhi) in the VIP Club. I'm 27 years old now, so I ought to have bigger concerns... but I really don't want Revan's tale to end badly. And I really don't want some endless series of diminishing sequels.

Knight: Right-o. I think in the six-or-so years after KotOR's release, we've both sort of settled on how we imagined Revan's story to continue, where it probably would've ended. This book's likely to end up being one big case of, "I'm not so sure that would've happened," since Karpy's probably going to try and link Revan to The Old Republic in some way. It might be a frustrating experience, but then again it might not be. This might be a good book, and maybe Karpyshyn took this as seriously as we would have. We'll just have to wait and see, I guess.

Buch: That's a good point. And maybe he had a great idea. He might just have a fun adventure ready for us here, involving closure for Revan and a cool sword fight in a thunderstorm.

Knight: Closure? When an MMO is involved? Stranger things have happened.

Buch: The MMO thing worries me, for sure. I feel like the old man from Big Trouble in Little China. 'You leave Jack Burton ALONE!' Except it's Revan.

Knight: Would you accept Kurt Russell as Revan?

Buch: What I really like about our friendship is that quite often you will type out, word-for-word, what I was thinking! :D

Knight: Haha! Fantastic, then we'll end on an agreement!

Buch: Normally we disagree more on these things! Dragon Age 2 next time, eh?

Knight: Aw, yeah.

Buch: 70%

Knight: 33%

That's how much of a game it was.

Buch: That's how much of a game your mum was!

Knight: I'm telling.

Game Review: Mirror's Edge

We exist on the Mirror's Edge. Why?

Because we've put a lot of thought into this metaphor.

It might be a little counterproductive to review a game that's almost three years old, but... Well, nevermind, it's definitely counterproductive. I bought Mirror's Edge with some sly talk and a Gamestop coupon, and ended up walking away from the counter minus nine dollars and change. Not a bad price at all, especially for my penny-pinching self.

I had been curious about this game for quite some time. Its demo was one of the first things I downloaded onto my then-new Xbox 360, and I remember being very impressed by what I saw. A game about real parkour? It would be the first game to attempt such a thing (if you don't count 2007's Assassin's Creed, which wasn't technically parkour), and it turned out pretty well! I got a real sense of speed, vertigo as I jumped from skyscraper to skyscraper, and when I was able to link together several different moves at one time, it was very satisfying.

Now I have the full game, and managed to play through the entire singleplayer campaign, as well as a few of the time trials. How does it hold up to the demo? Weeeeeeell, that's the interesting thing. But let me gush about the good things before I move on to the anti-good things.

Let's set up what this game is: very original, and developed by the studio that created the Battlefield series (Battlefield 1942, Battlefield 2, Battlefield: Bad Company 1 & 2, etc.) and are also assisting in the production of Mass Effect 3. So the quality is definitely there along with the originality. The visuals are very good. This isn't really a free roam game, but, like Alan Wake, an entire city was still built around each of the stages. It feels like if there had been a few conveniently-placed planks or rails, you'd be able to run off into the horizon. But I digress...

Running and leaping from rooftop to rooftop whilst dozens of stories off the ground is a surreal experience from the get-go. I'd almost compare it to the first few levels of Portal, where you suddenly have this crazy sense of power and freedom in a new and exciting format. The game has you sliding under barriers, walking across a pole in the open air, and jumping onto the landing struts of a helicopter on the first level. It was a definite rush, and the fantastic visuals and art design only accentuated the experience.

And that's really where the fun and the potential of this game surfaces: in the first level. You get acquainted with what the protagonist (we'll get back to her) calls, "the flow." Where you can see the unseen pathways from building to building, linked together in such a way that it demands someone with the skill of timing and agility to even trespass upon it. After some trial and error, I was linking moves together flawlessly. Bouncing from one rooftop to the other without slowing down for anything, without even thinking about the buttons. There was just the experience.

Here's a great run of the game's prologue. It'll give you a good idea of what the game has to offer.

On that note, let's talk about the bad stuff now!

In making this game, DICE was probably unaware what the public at large would gravitate to, and it would definitely be the free-running aspect. But because, in my opinion, they were unaware of this, they threw a whole bunch of things into the game that can, at times, cause the whole experience to screech to a stop. For one: corridors!

Over the course of the first few chapters, you're steadily thrown into the middle of the story Mirror's Edge, which isn't very impressive to begin with. You play as a Runner named Faith, who has made it her mission to transfer sensitive, controversial material by way of the rooftops. The corporations are corrupt, Faith is not, they try to kill you, and you resist. That's about the long and short of it. Not enough to really keep me involved, so it was the burden of the gameplay to keep me entertained. But, like I said: corridors!

F**k!

Maybe it was just to shake things up, but I don't think I'll ever understand why DICE decided to make the majority of a game about free-running take place indoors. Busting through a door and seeing that you're going to be jumping from shelf to shelf for a while is sure to be an instant buzzkill. Aside from the feeling of confinement, the indoor parts of the game just don't hold up well to the whole free-running thing. I was bouncing off walls, falling through ceilings, falling off scaffolding, falling off stairs, falling out of windows. There was a surprising amount of falling! I think I died more falling off a painter's catwalk than I ever did jumping betwixt skyscrapers.

This is compounded by the many encounters you'll have with the law. See, the combat is good on paper. Your goal is to basically run up, disarm, and gun down any resistance you might have (even though that kinda flies in the face of the game's story), or box Johnny Law to death. The thing is that the combat is imperfect. If you don't get killed running up to the guy with the shotgun in an attempt to knock him out/disarm him, then his three buddies will probably end up doing the job for him. In that sense, "divide and conquer" is the best route, though the AI doesn't often oblige you by doing anything resembling "divide". I died many, many times trying to fight my way through some of these guys, and in later chapters, they don't go down very easy.

So, I guess in the way of the singleplayer campaign, I dislike it because of how it seemed to sabotage its own concept. A game about free-running slowly became a platformer, became a poor first-person shooter, became a game that will probably only be played for its time trials and speed runs.

And yes, there are time trials and leaderboards! It allows you to see who's the best for that week, that month, and of all time - and then allows you to race the ghosts of those players for practice or for motivation. One of the most rewarding things in the time trials was when shaving hundredths of a second shot up to the top of the leaderboards. As of now, I'm in the top 500 of all time! Though that's likely to change. There's an exploitable glitch in the game that allows you to double jump your way through the maps. What's sad is that everyone above me exploited this, which I don't really think is fair.

Unfortunately, there's no real multiplayer, so you can't race a friend directly or do co-op or anything like that. You can race their ghosts, but that's about it.

Much like the aforementioned Assassin's Creed, DICE's Mirror's Edge tried a lot of new things at once and managed to get a few things very, very right. It's a very rare thing indeed these days when a company like EA takes a chance on a game that just sounds impossible to get right from the concept alone. But I have to hand it to DICE for making a great new franchise that I will definitely support without hesitation. Because if Bad Company 2 and Battlefield 3 are any indication, the good people at DICE know how to improve, and improve in all the right ways.

It has its downsides, but Mirror's Edge is definitely a game worth trying out. (Especially since the used prices for it are nearly rock bottom!) Come on!

Hear Me Out: Why I'm Not So Sure You Should Buy Dragon Age: Legacy.

I don't recall anything this epic being in the game. That's the one I wanted to buy!

God, here I go again. Like the Energizer Bunny riding a broken record or something stupid like that. Four months after the release of Dragon Age 2 and I still feel like I need to bash on it in some way. But you know what? I can't help it. It cannot be helped, and I cannot help it. So, here we go with this week's edition of: I Hate You, Dragon Age 2: I Hate You So Damn Much. (Working title.)

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Hi - this is Buch, I'll be writing in this different font - and I'll be adding my comments to this post, being as I am the only Bioware fan on Earth who enjoyed (parts of) Dragon Age 2.

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Essentially, what I want to say regards the upcoming release of the first real add-on for Dragon Age 2 since its release: "Legacy." Nope, not useless weapons and armor, but an actual story. A story that (as far as I know) partially involves delving into Hawke's family history by way of a Grey Warden prison, which was just fantastic to hear. It's good that we're going to get back to Wardens and darkspawn. You know, since they spent the entirety of DA2 letting you know that, from here on out, we're all just gonna do our darndest to forget that abysmal prequel, Dragon Age: Origins, and all of the emotional investment fans might have tied up in it and get on with our lives.

'Cause that worked out well.

At this point, reeling the Wardens back into the picture and throwing you up against the very-familiar waves of darkspawn seems like a bit of a cop-out, which, I know, is a terrible thing to say after all that criticism. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't kind of scenario, but whatever.

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This will look I'm interrupting for the sheer sake of it, but - to hell with Darkspawn. As it were. I adored Origins too, way more than the sequel, but after a minimum 40 hours fighting those three or four identical darkspawn sprites, I was utterly sick of them. To me they seem like astonshingly lazy enemies - a literal horde of repeated guys, the big guy and the little guy, who are just... kinda like orcs except they're demons or whatever. Dark-spawn? Yes, that'll do.
I'm going to far now, but I got bored of them pretty fast and I don't want to be fighting them anymore from now on. One the Blight ended, that ought to be the end of the Darkspawn on the surface. I feel that any plot otherwise would cheapen the Warden's accomplishment.
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But as per the inefficient title of this entry: I'm really not so sure people should be buying "Legacy." Even if you liked it. Lemme explain. There are two types of people this add-on is targeting: the people who liked the game and the people that were critical. The fans and the critics. It's doing this by expanding upon a part Hawke's story (a part that was never once referenced in the game, but whatever), appealing to nostalgia for the prequel, and attempting to right some of the wrongs that were in the main game. Okay? Okay.

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Okay. Honestly I'd call myself a critic too. I really liked the first two thirds, but I don't think I'll play through them again, not for that payoff.
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The fans probably won't care in any case. As long as this is continuing Hawke's story, they'll be content, which isn't a bad thing. If you like it, you like it. The critics might like that they'll be getting back into the fight with the good ol' darkspawn, and that they'll be exploring Grey Warden history to boot. They also might like that some of the main(ish) criticisms from the main game have been addressed, as in you won't be bogged down fighting off waves of enemies, and the dungeon will actually be brand new. That is to say, the multi-purpose dungeon from DA2 won't be making an appearance.

Upon first glance, that doesn't sound like an unreasonably bad add-on. Given the backlash that arose after DA2's release, this was probably the most logical route to take toward building up the franchise's damaged fanbase. But I'm here to convince you not to buy this thing, and I've already rambled on awhile, so let me lay down my case before I forget what I'm doing here.

BioWare Dislikes You Right Now

This is directed at both the fans and the critics. BioWare doesn't seem to be very fond of its own fanbase right now. Hyperbole? Exaggeration? Both?! Probably, but it's the only way I can explain what happened to DA2 and the post-release reaction. The game was not finished. It doesn't matter how much you liked it, because it doesn't change the fact that BioWare delivered fans of DA:O half of a game.

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Two thirds of a game.
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When I played Dragon Age: Origins for the first time, it freaked me right the hell out. I had the difficulty set too high, and I hadn't played a real tactics-based RPG since the Knights of the Old Republic series was still new. In my mad rush to get through the game, I literally skipped over everything outside of the main quest. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, because I got my ass handed to me more times than a... donkey farmer? Anyway, I rushed through the thing. How long did rushing through DA:O take me? 33 hours!

With DA2, I told myself that I wasn't going to make the same mistake. I was going for full completion this time around, and I pretty much accomplished this. After doing every single sidequest available (minus the high dragon fight), I finished the game in just under 30 hours, if I remember correctly. Try completing everything in DA:O in under 30 hours; that just ain't gonna happen.

DA:O had several cities from opposite ends of Ferelden, each with their own histories that spanned thousands of years. Histories that the game allowed you to explore and influence. DA2 has one city that doesn't change in ten years, the history of which is about as deep as my old above-ground pool. So, the content not only diminished, but it also got weaker. You could argue otherwise, but I'm not gonna let ya.

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Plus Kirkwall only had one pub. And its Elven Alienage consisted of one room with a tree on-loan from a Dreamcast game, thus making the city less diverse and worse-drawn than Denerim - one of several large locations in the first game. This time I don't even want to argue otherwise.
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So, why would BioWare, after delivering a product to such acclaim, turn around sell you a sequel that took a fifth of the time to develop in comparison to its prequel, with much less content? The only obvious answer being: because they knew fans would buy it blind. Why else would they offer a special edition of the game that could only be obtained by pre-ordering it three months in advance? Not only that, but the embargo on useful information about the game was lifted only a month before it was actually released, which I would say pretty much displays a lack of confidence on their part that DA2 would sell well if they had showed it off earlier.

So, BioWare sold us an inferior product, and it's very likely that they knew what they were doing all the while.

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Actually I would put-in here that Dragon Age 2 was never intended to be an inferior product. For whatever reason, Bioware just prefer these Mass Effect dialogue wheels now and their named, voiced protagonists, and they clearly tried at first. If they hadn't wanted this game to be good, they wouldn't have made it so different to their usual style, taken those risks. I suppose I could be wrong and Bioware could have used Kirkwall for the simple reason of saving space, or the political conflict instead of an enemy for the reason of time constraints, but I can't see it. Not to that extent.

This is the core of my defence right here. Not all the while, Knight. They tried to make this one a little bit different from their usual 'band of heroes led by the last-of-the-whoever off to save the world from the monsters by visiting four places' schtick. They tried to create this soap-opera feel with characters who have homes, jobs and secret agendas - and hell, I loved Aveline and Varric, just for their conversation.
And moreover, they were trying to set up some kind of trilogy or series or something with Hawke. They failed utterly, and it's clear that they rushed the game's finale in a manner than I call insulting. But I think they started this thing with big ideas.

This is all I've got.
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The fans complained (many of them, anyway, if the official forums are any indication), and the response on their part was pretty harsh/hilarious, all things considered. Never once did they answer for all the blatantly-cut corners, such as the multi-purpose dungeon, the-city-that-never-changes, not being able to equip party members, or how it's always sunny in Darktown. Things that were so applauded in DA:O, but failed to make an appearance in any form. I would also throw the lackluster ending and most of the party members onto that pyre, but meh.

But it doesn't matter, because they knew we would buy it. And I did! I got the "BioWare Signature Edition" and played through the extra, reskinned multi-purpose dungeon. For a signature edition, no, it wasn't representative of what BioWare is still (I hope) capable of. And then here comes "Legacy."

Even if you liked DA2, it was not the game you could've gotten. TES IV: Oblivion sold very well, but I don't think any of us are expecting Skyrim to be Call of Duty with swords. DA:O sold very well (not Oblivion well, but very well regardless), and I wasn't for one moment thinking that DA2 would become a super-linear God of War wannabe. There were redeeming features, yes, but then again, Two Worlds had some, too. So, yeah.

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There is an argument that Mass Effect 2 was just Gears of War with dialogue trees.
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By purchasing "Legacy," you're telling EA and BioWare that how they handled DA2, both before and after, was okay, and that it'll be perfectly acceptable to do something similar with the inevitable Dragon Age 3. Again, even if you liked it, it doesn't change the fact that BioWare tried to screw with you for quick money. When someone tries to steal your wallet, you don't give them $20 for the effort.

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One final note from me - that's a very interesting name they went for. Dragon Age 2 Legacy. I wonder if Bioware are trying to save exactly that? Well if so, fair enough, but.... Jesus guys, that game's ending really sucked. $20 or the Sterling equivalent seems like a lot of money. I might have paid that price for some kind of patch that replaces the third act of the story with one that makes a modicum of sense. But not to go fight freaking darkspawn. I can do that in the Deep Roads. Or in Origins. Or my nightmares.

Even I won't be buying this one unless there's something special about it. Bioware can do special with DLC, but they have to really care about it. They can do crap too.

Having looked at the adverts for the new DA2 DLC... nothing stands out. It looks distinctly like a dungeon with some nonsense about Hawke's incredibly dull family thrown in, and a nice new sword. I'm not calling you a liar, Bioware - and I'm really looking forward to whatever new games you put out - but I think DA2 is buried now. So start again, hey.
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Whew, hopefully that''ll be the end of these rants, eh? =D

DLC Review - Fallout: New Vegas - "Old World Blues"

Yes, you've lost your brain. Don't think about the medical inconsistencies; you lack the equipment for it, anyway.

Let's face it: the Courier's had a rough time of things. Getting shot in the head wasn't enough, neither was getting caught in the middle of a war between three very powerful factions, nor was getting gassed and taken prisoner and forced to crack open a vault in a mythical casino whilst wearing a bomb collar. As the saying goes: things are gonna get worse before they get better.

And in the case of our respective Couriers, things are looking to get much worse.

"Old World Blues" marks a significant jump in quality for Obsidian. Whereas "Dead Money" had a brilliant story and "Honest Hearts" had a place worth exploring, this new add-on tries to do both - and do them both better. Influenced by science fiction of the 50s and the classic Fallout titles, the opening for "Old World Blues" involves a crashed satellite, a ruined drive-in, and a science fiction picture show. Very fitting.

Eventually, you'll end up at the Big Mountain Research Facility, commonly referred to as "The Big Empty" amongst Mojave residents. You have no idea how you got there, why you're there, and, oh yeah, your brain's been removed. This is all explained to you buy a group of five disembodied scientists collectively known as the Think Tank. It seems in their blind rush to progress Science, your brain was removed and you, unlike many others, did not die a horrible death during the removal. This makes you special... for some reason. The Think Tank don't come by many answers easily, if at all.

Because you're special and because you did not die, the Think Tank decides to send you on a mission to recover various technologies around the Big MT facility. They've since lost your brain, apparently, and the only way to get it back into charge headlong into the facility of the mad scientist, Doctor Mobius. These technologies will both allow you to fight his army of atomic robo-scorpions and give you an entrance into his facility so that you might be reunited with your brain.

If it all sounds a little convoluted, that's because it is. The Think Tank aren't all that they appear to be; in fact, they're much, much less than that. They're all manner of crazy and confused about everything, but they do have a flair for dramatics, which you will get a taste of during your initial introduction. To be blunt, these are some of the most entertaining and hilarious video game characters I've come across in quite some time. They had me in stitches pretty much every time they spoke, and it never got tiring. These are characters who fully embody the corny (and awesome) science fiction of the 50s. Everything must be atomic, everything is forbidden, and Science will save us all from the darkest of futures.

Communism, of course.

In any case: thus begins your journey to recover your brain, which will have your crisscrossing Big MT and all of its fantastic locations. The Big Empty isn't as claustrophobic as the Sierra Madre, nor is it as barren as Zion National Park. The place is simply a joy to explore aimlessly, and there's a lot of it. Every facility houses information about Big MT's questionable past and further insight into the minds and "work ethic" of the Think Tank. The place is thick with history and expands the lore of the Fallout universe greatly. I was genuinely compelled to check every nook of every facility I came across. You never know what you're going to find.

One room that I almost passed over housed a robot/human splicing machine. It's as crazy as it sounds.

Over the course of your journey, you might come into possession of various holotapes that contain, get this, personalities for your household appliances. One of the perks of doing missions for the Think Tank is having your own base of operations called "the Sink", which contains a bed, plenty of storage, soda machines, your own personal auto-doc and market. But plugging these personalities into the appliances around the Sink will net you some hilarious results. A gardening machine that sounds like Issac Hayes and constantly demands your "seed," a toaster bent on destroying the world, and an obsessive-compulsive securitron named Muggy who's programmed to clean coffee mugs - to name a few.

So, "Old World Blues" has character in spades, a great sense of humor, and a great zone to support it all. The story? It's pretty good, too! Like "Dead Money," a lot of the story is in the details, and it rewards those who take in the sights. But overall, your goal is to stop a mad scientist and steal your brain back. That should be enough for most people. (It was for me.) But the story does try to make you care about what's really going on. As I said, nothing is as it seems, which results in a few decisions that you'll have to make in the end that, in my case, had me sitting there thinking for a while.

And as for the "War of the Couriers" story arc, it's definitely continued here. You'll get a better understanding of just who this Ulysses is, what he wants, and why he carries the flag of the Old World on his back. You'll have to do a little digging though. But if you do, you'll uncover answers to some of the many mysteries surrounding the Sierra Madre, hear the voice of an old friend (who has since lost her voice), and get an idea of how things might come to an end in the next/last add-on.

"Dead Money" was brilliant, but had problems in the combat department. "Honest Hearts" was enjoyable, but its brevity and lack of a compelling storyline made it touch and go for a while. But "Old World Blues"? That's a no-brainer. If you have Fallout: New Vegas, this is a must-buy. No question about it. There's good humor, plenty of role-playing opportunities, a fascinating world to explore, rich lore, and the entire thing is one big celebration of early science fiction. The thing's not short either. I did a little exploring, but I still haven't finished all of the sidequests, and it took me a little over ten hours to finish.

Obsidian really pulled out all of the stops for this expansion, fully displaying that they are in possession of some of the most creative individuals working the RPG scene these days. With "Old World Blues," they've raised the bar very high, both in terms of what a DLC add-on should be and for the last add-on due to be released a some point in the next few months. If "Lonesome Road" doesn't disappoint, Fallout: New Vegas in addition to these add-ons may end up being one of the best video game experiences I've ever had. (Yes! Potential hyperbole! Deal with it, World!)

I still have some exploring to do, and I'm very grateful this ride isn't over yet. For the Courier, there is still one more road left to travel.

The Courier and the Big Empty

"Save us all - in the name of Science!"

Two more days until Obsidian's next add-on for Fallout: New Vegas arrives. "Old World Blues" will lead your Courier to a secret research facility where the chances of losing your brain are abnormally high. This will be the third of four planned add-ons, with the final entry, "Lonesome Road," estimated to be released at some point within the next three months. Yes, ambiguity.

Just in case you haven't given these add-ons a try, I recommend every single one of them so far. It'll be sad times when Obsidian is no longer producing Fallout content, though I have high hopes that they'll make another one in the near future. Maybe even using the Skyrim engine!

Maybe.

"Old World Blues" will be available across all platforms on July 19th.

DLC Review(s): Alan Wake - "The Signal" and "The Writer"

Avert your eyes. Minor spoilers ahead.

The conclusion of Alan Wake was a bittersweet one, but I honestly couldn't imagine a better way to bring the story to a close. Without giving too much away, it doesn't seem like Mr. Wake will be going anywhere for a while. Trapped in a place he'd rather not be, his only hope of getting back to the real world is to write himself back into it. Unfortunately, he's developed a rather violent form of writer's block, where his anxiety and overactive imagination have collided in such a way that his rational side has been pushed away into a nightmare.

Both Alan Wake add-ons, "The Signal" and "The Writer," focus on Alan's rational self as he tries to make his way back to the cabin and out of harm's way. To do this, he has to survive a nightmare of his creation. These are ultimately two stories of a writer having his own imagination turned against him.

The Signal:

This add-on begins in much of the same way the main game did, with Alan Wake stumbling into the Oh Deer Diner in Bright Falls, though things are certainly different this time around. The darkness is everywhere, perverting Wake's memories to the point where they're blending into each other. A door to the city streets might lead you somewhere else entirely, and things only get worse as Wake's insane self dives further into madness.

In short: someone done crossed the streams.

Though I loved that this add-on continued the story in an interesting way, it didn't advance beyond the initial concept. For the most part, you'll be fighting the Taken. A lot of them. An unusual amount, actually. Whereas the game itself had the battles spaced out quite a bit, there's nothing like that going on here. After you figure out just what the heck's going on with Wake, there's little else to be impressed by outside of a few interesting set pieces.

But you know what? It was still enjoyable. And if you buy Alan Wake new, you get it for free. So, while I can't complain too much, I will say that the few things that I didn't like about the main game seem to compose the core of this add-on. There are way too many fights, another shameless instance of product placement, and the story doesn't advance much after the first fifteen minutes or so.

But it's still pretty dang spooky, and, again: free.

The Writer:

"The Writer," on the other hand, was a perfect example of what I'd expect out of an Alan Wake story. It expands upon some of the questions that the main game left unanswered, has some very good character moments, and has probably one of the craziest sequences I've ever seen in a video game. It's similar to the hallucination from Fallout 3 - Point Lookout, or Nightmare Hollow from Fable 2... but waaaay creepier.

Basically, "The Writer" feels like a proper descent into madness. I honestly couldn't tell what was going to happen next, and when the crazy stuff happened, I couldn't believe I had just played such a thing in a video game. I was awed, I'll say that much. Even the combat sections were creative as all hell and, most importantly, fun.

The ending is a nice teaser for what could happen in future Alan Wake installments, and I honestly can't wait. Sounds like we have something coming soon, but the announcement was definitely vague. In any case, I'll take what I can get!

Game Review: Alan Wake

Alan Wake opens with a nightmare, with the eponymous main character making his way through a forest that has been taken by darkness. Streetlights break as you approach, a dark mist stirs overhead, and a faceless man with a rather large sickle has taken it upon himself to kill you. In turn, you will kill him several times over. Your goal is to reach a lighthouse burning brightly in the distance, but the man, one of the Taken, will not make that journey easy for you.

The closer you get to the lighthouse, the more violent the darkness becomes. Vehicles are ripped from the ground and tossed violently in your direction. The bridge you have to cross collapses into the waters below. Only steps away from the lighthouse, you are nearly overtaken by a spiraling torrent of debris and howling darkness. You are safe in the light, and leaving it will instantly invite death.

This is the tutorial.

Free from the nightmare, Alan Wake finds himself back in reality with his wife, the both of them on a ferry that's slowly drifting toward the town of Bright Falls, a secluded and sleepy little place somewhere in the state of Washington. Alan Wake is a bestselling novelist, and it's been a couple years since he's been able to write anything remotely productive. Hoping a vacation in the mountains of the pacific northwest will cure his writers' block, he and his wife rent out a cabin on a lake just outside of town.

Without giving too much away, things start to go south from here. Alan Wake recovers from a blackout and has apparently just crashed his car somewhere in the woods. Not only that, but he can't remember anything from the last seven days. Not only that, but his wife is now missing, and all evidence of their stay in Bright Falls has literally been erased from history. Not only that, but the story - a horror story, as you're quick to find out - of a novel he doesn't remember writing is coming to life in the middle of Bright Falls, destroying, consuming, and killing anything that gets in its path.

In the face of very... unique circumstances, Alan must find some way to recover his memory and find his wife before his story literally takes the world by storm. The road to doing that is paved with plot twists, interesting characters, and villains who cannot be stopped by conventional means. The makings of a great horror novel.

And that's honestly what it is. Alan Wake can be seen as one big celebration of Stephen King's works, with several direct references that his fans will definitely catch. Outside of that, though, is a story that's wholly unique in its own right. The writers of the game did an excellent job here, and I can honestly say the game has some of the best, most competent writing this side of Chris Avellone. The game is a horror story, and it's also an allegory of the writing of a horror story. The amount of work that must have gone into the story to keep it straight with the player seems daunting just thinking about it, and yet it was pulled off with only the slightest of hitches.

It's a story within a story within a story.

But outside that story, there's still a game to be played, and I think this is where Alan Wake rises above a game like L.A. Noire, another story-heavy mystery game. Throughout, you'll be combating the "Dark Presence," an evil force that destroys based on Wake's writings, and represents the nothingness beyond the edge an artist's creation. The Dark Presence possesses the people of Bright Falls, turning them into perversions of the dark called "the Taken." These are who you'll be fighting primarily, using your trusty flashlight to burn away the Dark consuming them, and then your gun to send them back wherever they came from.

The combat doesn't get much more complicated than that. There are puzzles along the way and instances where you'll have to get creative with your various light sources and guns, but I don't think there'll be anyplace where you'll not know where to go. This may seem like it could get repetitive over the course of this 10 - 12 hour game, and sometimes it does, but there are several "saving graces" that make progressing through Alan Wake almost addicting.

The story is constantly prevalent, to the point where it seems that everything you do is progressing it. There is always one more plot twist, or a waypoint in the distance that promises to shed some light on the mystery surrounding Wake and his wife. The level design and world building also contribute to this. The visuals are amazing, and nearly all of the locations are unique from each other. Bright Falls feels like a true American mining town, caught in a tug of war between its colorful history and the influence of the modern world. Though you're usually making your way through the surrounding forest, it always feels like you're on your way to discovering some new facet of the area.

It's interesting! If I wasn't playing it to see what new location the game would throw at me, it was to progress the story; if it wasn't to progress the story, it was to send a few more baddies back into the Dark; if it wasn't to fight some baddies, it was to poke around to find some hidden areas. The town also has lore of its own, so you could also run around and check out signs to expand your "codex" Mass Effect-style.

To recap, let's list what's great about this game:

-The story/writing.

-The visuals.

-The soundtrack. (There are also some musical interludes between chapters that fit the mood perfectly.)

-World-building. (I live just south of Washington. This game is scary-faithful to how a western town should be.)

-Great characters.

-Only a few loading screens, and they're between chapters! (And after you die...)

Let's try to get critical here. I think I already pointed out that combat can get repetitive at certain times, and definitely during the last chapter. There were also times when I thought the combat got in the way of the story or seemed too obligatory, like the developers felt they had to throw more monsters at you - but I think that's just a testament to how good the writing is.

Also, it was a little surprising to see how much detail went into everything except the lip-syncing. It's pretty bad. The characters just can't seem to move their mouth along with the words they're speaking at times, and it can get a little distracting (especially when the drama ramps up). You get used to it, but it's just one of those things.

One last thing (though this is just wishful thinking instead of a criticism), the game just begs to be an open world/sandbox title, and I'm kinda flabbergasted that it isn't. You can drive in one direction for fifteen minutes without hitting a load screen, but you cannot leave the road (unless it's been destroyed). Along the way, you can clearly see how much work went into making Bright Falls and the surrounding forest and mountain range look unique, but there's no real way to explore any of it. Though, there are a ton of nooks and crannies to seek out, it'll feel like you're walking the railroad through New Austin in Red Dead Redemption with no way to jump off. It can be frustrating, but I suppose the pacing and the story impact might have been affected otherwise.

I guess we'll never know.

In any case, Alan Wake is definitely one of the best games I've played this year. I was in a constant state of awe and amazement at the amount of surprises the world and the story were able to throw at me without getting stale and predictable. Being genuinely frightening at times didn't hurt things either. This is just a great game, and for the price it's being sold for these days... you could definitely do worse.

Getting Dizzy...

I'm sure you can guess why I got so excited over this particular mod for Star Wars: Battlefront II. And yeah, the Spire's still a-spinnin' while you battle.

Here are a few more shots!

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Hear Me Out - Dragon Age II: Legacy

"Call me Captain Kirkwall."

It's odd that Dragon Age: Origins had such a profound effect on me -but it totally did. Wandering Ferelden as one of the last Grey Wardens in the nation, trying to save the world with a group of companions that happened to include a perpetually-smashed dwarf and a witch that Ayn Rand would probably wink at was just an amazing experience. One of the best in my gaming life this side of Knights of the Old Republic.

All this to say: Dragon Age II is still pissing me off. I didn't think it was possible to be so frustrated over a video game for so long, but here we are, what, almost four months since release? I'm still peeved! I look at my little "shrine" where I have my copies of KotOR I & II, my Darth Revan action figures (Thank you, Chris!), and my first copy of DA:O, and I wonder... Why isn't DA2 up there?! How, in the name of all that is excellent did the sequel to one of my most favorite games become something worth getting rid of?! Bioware, I can't believe you've done this!

To my credit, I did play the game twice to make sure, and the decision was made: I don't like Dragon Age 2. Not strictly because it was an average game, but because it was a terrible sequel. It lacked the polish that BioWare games are known for (recycled dungeons), it completely kicked fans of the first game to the curb ("Who the f**k is the Warden?"), and had probably one of the worst endings in the history of ever.

I could go on, but I won't. So how does a fan of DA:O, who ultimately feels stiffed by BioWare's recent antics in the realm of Thedas, react to a new add-on for DA2 that supposedly addresses fan complaints concerning the game? My first question is: Which complaint? There are so many they're practically Legion. But, in any case, it's sort of a weird situation, and I guess whether or not I actually buy it will depend on a few things: primarily the reactions from people on the official forums (who, like me, are still up in arms); if BioWare pleases that crowd, then they must have done something very right.

Another thing would be the price point. I don't want to sink another 15 to 20 dollars into a game in the hopes of finding some redeeming value in the DLC. I'm not necessarily saying that they should give it away for free (though that would certainly be a great gesture to their fanbase), but I'm hoping they slap a reasonable number on there. And the rest is all in the details, I guess.

In truth, I really do hope that BioWare has been serious about this. I want this to do good, and be some sort of pseudo-redemption for the company and for the franchise. A ridiculous standard to hold it to, I guess, but that really is what it has to be for me. It has to be good if I'm ever going to be excited about Dragon Age ever again. It has to blow my preconceptions about it out of the water, and it has to prove that BioWare really have been listening.

But while I continue to hope, Obsidian is close to putting out an add-on that I'll be buying immediately. So there's that.