OBJECTION: In Defense of Knightfall

So, I wake up this morning, feeling utterly incapacitated by the ruthless hiking trip I went on in Yosemite, and I drag myself to my computer to find that some British dude had disagreed with my previous post! This is outrrrrrageous! I'm going to attempt to defend myself against this heathen, and I invite him to retort if he dares shows his face around this blog again. >=D

First of all, he had the nerve to say this:

"...this..."

To top things off, he went on to quote something I had said in my review of Fable II concerning my philosophy on the ending of a game. I read what he had to say on the subject AND HONESTLY...I can find myself agreeing with him. This is going to me a bad argumentative essay already, I can tell. Because I agree! I really do. But lemme draw the line between what I agree with and what I prefer.

Let me use KotOR as the prime example here, and allow me to begin with something Mister Buch said, and use a red font to make it look sinister:

"Rather than ending on a bang, the character ends with a whimper. He ends when you get bored of side-quests. I hate seeing the world AFTER the cataclysmic events of the ending... and seeing it's just the same."

I can understand this, actually. I'm winding down in terms of side-quests and things to do throughout Fable II. Dare I say, I'm starting to get tired of the game. And with the exception of a few achievements that I can only obtain by beating the game over again and getting a different ending, I've almost increased my gamerscore as much as I can in Albion. There will eventually come a day when I wander around my favorite area of the game, looking for that one last shred of awe left, save and quit, and likely never play the game again. That will be a sad day, and probably won't have the same feeling as a proper ending would have had.

Dragon Age: Origins for instance, had an amazing ending. It took that adventure that you just went on and not only closed it up nicely and intelligently, but it also left it open for further adventures with later games. I loved that. Even though it was all a bunch of text blocks, I loved it. Teary-eyed. And that was okay with me, because BioWare has been fulfilling their promises of late.

But let me point out the one rotten egg, and it pains me to even relate this game with that term: KotOR. It is my favorite game, for all the reasons that Mister Buch illustrated. It was the pinnacle of storytelling in video games at the time, allowed you to own the story that you created, and let you invest way more of yourself into it than any game before it. In contrast to other games, you don't take on the role of the hero (i.e. Zelda), the hero takes on the role of YOU. Additionally, it did what Mister Buch pointed out:

At the very end, when the classic John Williams theme music kicked in and the credits rolled over the story's climax (and a teasing hint at a sequel) I was so excited I pumped my fist into the air like a fool.

Not only did I react the same way, but I saw this little tease as well. But as I was doing this Manly Arm Pump so wildly, I realized something: KotOR II had been released only a short time ago. Not only that, but it was my birthday that month. I nearly shat myself thinking about it. I got the game as a gift not too long after, threw it into my Xbox, and began playing...and that's when things went wrong in my life.

See, when it comes to KotOR II, I think that me and Buch are in agreement that it was technically a good game. It had some amazing moments (the character of Atton Rand being the highlight) but it was overall not KotOR. It didn't provide that same feeeeeling that its predecessor had brought to the table. Most of all: IT DIDN'T CONTINUE REVAN'S STORY!!! I watched the ending of KotOR II in horror and confusion, not able to grasp anything that had just transpired before my eyes. I had to do a ton of research for Revan's Shadow, and I STILL didn't get it!

That's when I was like...okay. That was a silly game, and crushed my dreams like so many glass unicorns under its foot, but that's okay! KotOR and The Sith Lords both sold more than enough to warrant a sequel. For sure! All I have to do is wait...

That was five years ago, and I'm still fucking waiting.

BioWare's unwillingness to make a sequel, and their complete willingness to capitalize on everything that made that game great and whore it out to the masses still burns me, because I know that I will never see Revan and his companions' stories come to fruition. It's a feeling of dejection that I will likely feel until the day I die, and well into whatever afterlife awaits us. In a Riverworld scenario, I will probably be recounting my sorrows to Mark Twain. I know he would listen.

I never wanted to play a game where that feeling might return. Never ever. And, thankfully, I've not had to. Fallout 3 gave us the Broken Steel DLC, which allowed me to roam the Capital Wasteland for as long as I dared to, and let me do all the little quests that I had wanted to do with that character. I would have been in the same sort of mood with Dragon Age: Origins had BioWare not promised constantly that there would be a sequel (but there's still a chance if fucking Dragon Age - Awakening is any indication on how a sequel will turn out. Think happy thoughts). Fable II allowed you to keep playing, but unlike Mass Effect 2, there was still stuff to do, and people still reacted to how you went about your business; not only that, but the See The Future DLC pretty much said, "Be patient, Hero, for history to repeat itself," and went about teasing the story in Fable III.

See, allowing me to keep running around the world, despite the shortcomings in the programming (everyone in Mass Effect 2 says exactly one thing to you after you beat the game, then repeat the same lines over and over) is way more preferable. It keeps me in the illusion for as long as I'm not bored. I prefer playing the endlessly wandering hero; it makes it more romantic in my mind. And I know that nothing can mess that up.

Mass Effect 2 did some great things, allowing your character to continue on into a new story almost seamlessly (despite mine and, apparently, Buch's view on Shepard's character being independent of our own). I say almost seamlessly, because there are always bits of your story that are completely disregarded in the sequel. "Oh, you thought you had united humanity against the Reapers, did you? Sorry about that. Turns out, everyone thinks that's a load of bollocks and have continued about their lives. Also, Anderson has become a complete puss in years, despite his bravery fighting those Reap...I mean, geth. That load of geth." Also, the importation nightmare that was Dragon Age - Awakening where 90% of the endings from the original game were disregarded.

So, I suppose I agree and disagree with this set ending premise. I agree that it makes for a powerful story to have the lights go out on the highest possible point, but at the same time, I've been burned by KotOR, where the lights went out halfway through the story and never came back on. And I agree that having the game keep going after the ending diminishes the story, but so does replaying the story, which you're almost constantly encouraged to do. I would much rather keep going, living in the illusion and warm, fuzzy thoughts left over by the initial story than end on a high note than wonder what could have been.

Oh Reginald... (Dragon Age and the 'KotOR feeling')

Aside from work, I've done precisely two things over the last three days: read Knightfall's blog posts and obsessively play Bioware's 2009 D&D-style RPG, Dragon Age: Origins.

And I'm absolutely loving the game, quite a bit more than I did the first time I played it. At that time I played through in a grumbling hurry, confused by the lore and plot, being punished horribly by the steep difficulty, and almost losing it after the largely-dodgy endgame (luckily the very end bits are great.) Then Mass Effect 2 came out, and I forgot all about DA:O (It looks like the initials and then a shocked emoticon) until the extremely meh expansion pack was released, and I read the surprisingly great prequel novel.

This past two weeks, I've been playing DA:O again, and this time... I've just been completely absorbed in it. It's been constantly on my mind. I play long into the night, and I wake before my alarm clock, so I can get juuust one more conversation in with Shale, or kill juuuust enough darkspawn to level up, so as I can wear that heavy chainmail that's a slightly lighter colour than the one I'm wearing now. I think because I now understand the plot better, and I'm revelling in how flexible it is - the dialogue options, the plot decisions, the inventory. My character feels like my character, whereas Commander Shepard feels like Bioware's.

This is what I call the 'KotOR feeling'! And it's More than a Feeling. It's... a way of life, or something. What I mean is, this is exactly what I want from a role-playing videogame. I want it to be like Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic, the game which brought me back into games, made me into a Star Wars fan, thrilled me for a year and even influenced my writing. It brought me into fanfiction, and thus into renewed writing. I know Knightfall has a similar story. He and I truly revere KotOR, and with good reason. The plot was incredible, the voice acting was a cut above (at the time). This is what I would call a true role-playing experience. You felt like you were that Jedi apprentice. For the week and a half it took to play through, the Ebon Hawk was your home, Jolee Bindo was your mentor, Mission Vao was your respnsibility and Lord Malak was most displeased to learn you had escaped Taris alive. Through its tight, excellent and immersive story, it sucked you in and forced you to abandon every other part of your life until you were done.

I remember the first time I beat that game... It was my first RPG unless you count Zelda. At the first I had no idea what I was supposed to do or why clicking people initiated lengthy, casual conversations about seemingly trivial things. After a couple of days I was hooked, and a week later I was astounded. I remember excitedly telling my brother about this amazing new game: 'I just finished it - I saved the Republic, fell in love with my Jedi teacher, resisted the dark side, conVERTed the girl from the dark side, and even convinced the Sith Lord that I was right and he was wrong - right before killing him with my YELLOW lightsaber! And holy crap... there's this twist... you've got to play this!!' And what's great is that all those things I mentioned are optional. None of those are set as part of the plot. I chose to persue those goals, and when they came together into a perfect Star Wars story, it blew me away. Oh, and the 'evil' decisions I made a few weeks later were also incredible.

At the very end, when the classic John Williams theme music kicked in and the credits rolled over the story's climax (and a teasing hint at a sequel) I was so excited I pumped my fist into the air like a fool. I couldn't help it! I beleive it's called the 'Manly Arm Pump' expression, but it didn't look so manly then. The game occupied me for the best part of a year: I had KotOR weeks and non KotOR weeks. I dreamed I was playing the game, I read fanfiction and heard the game's plot in every song on the radio. And every time I got to the end, I involuntarily did the arm pump, reviewing the choices I'd made, the character I felt I'd co-created and the ending s/he had created. It was like being in love! But with a videogame about Jedi Knights. I know this blog doesn't exactly make me sound mature.

When I reached the end of KotOR 2 (the somewhat disappointing, rushed sequel by Obsidian Entertainment) I did not do the arm pump. I did it for Jade Empire several times, and Mass Effect once or twice, but that game wasn't so immersive. I loved Jade Empire, KotOR 2, Mass Effect, Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect 2 (and also Bethesda's The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion), but never became so obsessed as the first time.

I also loved Fable 2, when I played it through twice more than a year ago. Like Knightfall, I was amused but not thrilled by the first Fable. But number 2 was a triumph. It's a fun, action-RPG set in Dickensian England, with guns, goblins who wear top hats, Julia Swahala, Zoe Wannamaker, Shepard Book and Stephen Fry... those Scottish gargoyles... a cockney hero... and in general, a great deal of loving passion and a magnificent sense of humour. I don't really care for the silent hero, the button-mashing and the halo that forms around my 'good' character's head, and the plot is generally very shallow and silly (but much better than you'd expect). But that's deliberate, and that's fine. It's an excellent game, and a perfect example of what a sequel should be: it's like Fable 1, but with all it's major faults removed apologetically (and even joked about in-game), and great, new innovative features added.

And now... I come to the point of this post. Knightfall said something in his Fable 2 review on Friday, which chilled my blood.

"That's the sin that BioWare keeps committing, but shouldn't. Sure, they rectified this in Mass Effect 2, FINALLY giving you the ability to keep playing after the main storyline is done, but there's nothing to that galaxy. There's nothing to do outside of the quests. I can't get a job, because I'm already the effing savior of the universe. I can't own a house, because I got captain's quarters and, you know, your life is your job. That's the one thing that I'd take to BioWare on a flag or something: if we're gonna save the galaxy, give us a reason to save it besides blue women."

Whoooooah there, Billy.

Bioware, if you're reading, ignore him. Good, solid endings are not a sin. The tangible, beautifully-acted love of a blue woman is a better reason to save the galaxy than ownership of a house in which there is a nameless woman who says 'Welcome home, darling' when you walk in.

What I'm trying to say here (and what this article was supposed to be about) is: I HATE carrying on the game after the end. I really like endings - I think they're the best part of almsot any story - the bit where everything ties together, and everything is resolved. The author's points are driven home, the characters demonstrate how they've changed, the world is changed for good. So why would you want it to... carry on for a bit after that? It's like The Return of the King! It should have ended long before they returned to the Shire and drove-out Sharkey!

I like my Bioware RPGs (as opposed to Lionhead or Obsidian) because they have solid, well-crafted stories. The endings (although lately they are suffering... ME2...) are powerful and contain complete 'closure'. In the last moment, I always think about (and very occasionally do) the Manly Arm Pump - because I know the epic story is finally over and I'm looking back. In the run up to the end - when I have my final conversations with the party-members or take one last stroll around the places I've been - there is a wonderful bittersweet feeling. 'This character will never talk to Kaidan again' ... 'That's the last time I'll fight alongside Canderous; I wonder what he'll do now the war is over' ... 'I'll spend all my remaining money on the special armour now, and equip Duncan's swords for the final battle.'

I don't like it when the story ends... but you don't. Rather than ending on a bang, the character ends with a whimper. He ends when you get bored of side-quests. I hate seeing the world AFTER the cataclysmic events of the ending... and seeing it's just the same.

That said, I played Fable 2 for a while after its end. Not having my dog was indeed heartbreaking. God damn, I love that dog. Bravo, Lionhead. And it was nice to wander about, aquiring and collecting things for fun. But I wish this could all have happenned as part of the story proper.

And as for Mass Effect 2... you win, you fly around... nothing happens... you fly around more. You go to some place and fight some mechs, you get credits. You go back. No-one talks to you.

Story-based games should end when the story ends. Bioware made me pump my arm into the air every time I beat KotOR and Jade Empire! It was a rush.

Dragon Age is giving me something very close to the KotOR feeling as I play it now. I've been playing for 54 hours, which is a record. It's an excellent game, (if one with a complex plot and too much backstory required.)
I just played through this one scene where one of the characters (my elven PC's love interest at that) randomly sings a goddamn beautiful ancient elven song - just before the endgame kicks in - and the camera shows us reactions from the hero and the other members of my party. The song reflects the quest we just finished, and some of the greater themes of the plot. And it tied itself into my own backstory and character seamlessly. Above and beyond the call of duty, Bioware. More songs please.
I've shaped my character and her story arcs, making my Grey Warden and Alistair mirror Loghain and King Maric in their pasts and relationships with each other and their party. I've grown immensely fond of talking to my followers and getting their pasts out of them, earning their favour and loyalty through carefully chosen questions and gifts. I'm going to be genuinely sad when I find out which one of the two lead heroes will die this time, and imagining what happens to the other one.

Leave that feeling in. I like endings.

F#@K It: Game Review: Fable II

I had been avoiding this, despite my high praise for this game, because I wasn't sure if a review for a two-year-old game would be worth it. I'm sure by now, whether or not the game is/isn't good has already been decided by the public at large. It's the equivalent of me telling everyone not to go watch the third Pirates of the Caribbean movie (just in case, that movie's a pass). But, you know, fuck it. Life's too short, and I love this game. Plus, the purpose of this entire blog is just for us to talk about whatever fascinates/angers us on myself and Mister Buch's respective coastlines. So here we go: my Fable II review.

To reiterate what I had said in my last entry, I had been very much against playing this game. The original Fable from all those years back had been an interesting experience, but not one that I could remember as significant. It was GTA in a fantasy realm, serving only to give people the opportunity to destroy the social structure of an entire town before running out of the city limits, waiting for everyone to forget. That was about it. Plus, I got to look like a badass assassin (lotta ass). The ending also sealed the deal for me, since it was so uncreative and lame that I didn't pick up the game again.

It seems that Lionhead Studios had picked up on this along the way, developed a sense of humility, and got to work on Fable II. Again, this game was released just before I got my hands on my first Xbox 360 at the end of 2008, but the first game I went out and bought was Mass Effect. Eventually, my cousin lent me her copy, but I was immediately put off by how very The Force Unleashed it was. Loading spots between zones? How archaic; I had just been playing Fallout 3 forever, and I could walk to the other end of the map without worry of loading screens.

I actually passed Fable II off to a friend of mine, who played through it awhile and gave it back. I then passed it back to my cousin, and didn't think about it again until a couple weeks ago. I had just beaten Dragon Age: Origins and its expansion, Mass Effect 2, Modern Warfare 2 a bunch of times, and Assassin's Creed 2 over the period of a few months, and I had nothing else on the horizon. I was practically going through withdrawals looking for something to kill some time on. I was actually about to go about and buy Poke'mon HeartGold, catch me some Poke'mans. I resisted buying several different games before I remembered Fable II, which I resignedly asked to borrow again from my cousin.

I installed the game on my Xbox, played for a couple minutes, getting just to Bowerstone, before quitting again. Then, I didn't touch it for another week until I got bored again. So, I kept playing, hoping something would pique my interest - and something did. I don't quite know when it happened, but it happened no later than Oakfield, where the scenery absolutely spirited me away to an absolutely calmed state of mind. I was hooked. I wanted to see more places like this one. I wanted to make more decisions and buy more houses. I wanted to pick the best spot in all of Albion and buy the nearest house to it.

It was a great time. It was a thing I used to do back in my WoW days: to just explore the world and find a place that I loved and call it my own. Anyone who knows what I'm talking about will know that the bench where you start out in Shadowglen, the boat in the pond at Tarren Mill, and the bridge near the Sepulcher...those are all off-limits! Mine! Anyway, yeah, I love doing that. I love a bit of role-playing with my role-playing games; it makes the experience more genuine. But it's been a long time since I got the urge to do that. WoW was one. Fallout 3 was another, and sorta/kinda Dragon Age: Origins was another (it was hard for that game to accommodate my requirements in that case; there were enemies everywhere...except for the camp, my favorite part...stay away from that, too).

So Fable II hooked me with its ability to make me feel like I was a part of that world, always affecting it. Time passes and you still make money even when the Xbox is turned off. With the exception of WoW, for obvious reasons, all of my most favorite RPGs feel like they end when the power's turned off. That's why I almost feel the need to play them until ungodly hours, because I don't want that magic to stop. With Fable II, it's always waiting for me to return. That's what keeps me playing a game, and how I racked up four months worth of playtime on WoW.

That's the sin that BioWare keeps committing, but shouldn't. Sure, they rectified this in Mass Effect 2, FINALLY giving you the ability to keep playing after the main storyline is done, but there's nothing to that galaxy. There's nothing to do outside of the quests. I can't get a job, because I'm already the effing savior of the universe. I can't own a house, because I got captain's quarters and, you know, your life is your job. That's the one thing that I'd take to BioWare on a flag or something: if we're gonna save the galaxy, give us a reason to save it besides blue women.

It's in that sense, as a life-of-a-fantasy-hero simulator, that Fable II takes the cake. Until the day that a BioWare game takes a page out of Lionhead's book in that regard, I would say that Fable II is one of the preeminent role playing experiences out in consoles today. BUT! Before someone pulls a drive-by argument on me, I'm not saying that it's the best RPG out there, per se, only that it provides the best experience.

You can abuse your power, or use it to the people's advantage. You can buy out a pub and then jack up the prices they charge, or provide drinks at a discount to the locals' delight. You can play a lute in the town square, or you can flip passersby the bird. You can become King of Albion, or the land's most dangerous assassin. It's up to you. It's all your choice.

I had to dig deep to find faults with the game, but there are a few that stick out that I hope are addressed in Fable III, due out at the end of this year. Firstly, I can deal with the combat. Although you're smashing the X, Y or B-buttons, depending on your preference, the system is sufficient for this game. It's not complicated, allowing you to get from place to place at a very nice pace, but they could've done better. Made it deeper for those who want to really feel like a warrior out on the frontline. If you're a magic user, sure, you'll have plenty of spells to choose from, but anyone who prefers their guns and swords might find their options lacking.

There are a lot of items in the game, and some powerful ones, but they are few and easy to obtain. I spent a few minutes listening to conversations in Bowerstone Square between players on XBL, and they were practically giving away their legendary weapons. I got one of the best guns in the game by doing a target shooting mini-game, and I got one of the best swords in the game by jumping down a hole and solving a couple puzzles. I would've liked the game to reward its players better, and make getting some of the high end items in the game a bit more difficult to obtain. I just bought Fairfax Castle yesterday for one million gold, and I've only been trying for it casually over the past few days. Getting that rare reward so that you can rub it in people's faces is one of the few great triumphs in gaming today. Just look at WoW; people go bonkers, spending months trying for items just for bragging rights!

Fairfax Castle should've been the hardest thing in the game to get, but I got it in a couple afternoons. The feeling of achievement was not there.

The experience system was pretty clunky. Nothing's worse than trying to pick up your experience points off the ground as they disappear, in the middle of a big ass battle. I hear that this has been remedied in the sequel, so that's okay.

Co-op: this was an AMAZING addition to an RPG of this kind. Amazing. This feature has so much potential that I clap my hands thinking about it, but Lionhead kinda dropped the ball in this regard. I'm perfectly find with not being able to see anything but orbs during the game proper, but when my friend and I actually joined each other's game, it was like the old days when we couldn't leave the same screen. What's up with that? I can understand this on one Xbox, but my friend was in Germany. Why should we have to stick together so closely and rely on the same camera, which doesn't function worth shit. Plus I had to pick a stock character to join his game, and not my own, which sucked royal.

Co-op could evolve to be the single greatest feature in console RPGs. Give two or three (or four!) friends the ability to roam around the same zone together, completing quests or just wandering around, and you will have a happy fanbase. That's what the soul of RPGs have always been about: traveling with good friends on an adventure into the fantastical. Don't bring us back to the Gauntlet-days where we were bound by the same screen. Make it happen, Lionhead!

Finally: the glitches. Oh my giddy aunt, there were so many glitches. None of them game-breaking, thank the Maker, but there were enough that it was a battle to deal with them at times. This does happen with these big games nowadays, but Lionhead should really step up their post-release support with Fable III to make sure that these glitches are taken care of. One of my favorite houses in the game was Giles Farm, where I had Lady Grey as my wife. But thanks to Lucien's shenanigans, the house still thinks I'm married, and does not allow me to rent it out. Eh.

Other than that, all the other criticisms are moot. IGN pointed out the lack of variety in enemies, but as someone who's been fighting three kinds of geth and two kinds of darkspawn for years, I think I'm okay in that regard. Fable II has enough of a variety to keep me satisfied, though it couldn't hurt to add more in the third game.

Fable II is a great game. Maybe not to everyone. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm still having a great time. The story wasn't magnificent by any means, but some parts of it just stuck with me so much. I've already explained the whole dog incident, but there was one other. In the beginning, you have a sister named Rose, who is killed brutally in the beginning of the game. As a street urchin, all she talked about was how she wanted to live in a nice castle, living the good life. In fact, the first quest you go on is to collect enough gold coins to buy a music box, which supposedly grants one wish. You can guess which wish she made.

Yesterday, I bought Castle Fairfax for one million gold, from the money I had made buying up every building in Albion. I walked around, looking over every room that I now owned: dining area, my library - my throne. I then took a walk to the far end of the castle, to the very study where Rose had been killed believing that her wish had come true. There was something oddly tragic about it all. The castle that Rose had wanted so badly for us to live in: I now owned outright. Just me.

I left the castle right then, and I haven't been back since.

Pros:

+ The dynamic world is amazing
+ The graphics for the game are some of the best on the console
+ Environments are beautiful and depressing, depending on where you go
+ Though you have limited say on the design of your character (white characters only) how your decisions affect your appearance is very well implemented
+ One of the best role playing experiences ever (not game, experience)
+ The dog
+ The Scottish gargoyles
+ Great sense of humor (not humour)


Cons:

- You are bound to run into a few glitches
- Weapons and clothing are in short supply, and typically easy to obtain
- Co-op is a welcomed addition, but needs an overhaul
- Picking up experience points like loot sucks at times
- Even for the casual gamer, even the game's high-end achievements are easy to obtain
- [EDIT]: I almost forgot to mention this. Something my friend pointed out to me: the notoriety that you get from all your renown is somewhat annoying. People will crowd you, everyone and their mother will fall in love with you, and despite the fact that you get in trouble trespassing in other people's homes, expect crowds of people filtering into your house, watching you have sex even. =/

I'm almost glad I got into this game late, because now I don't have to wait very long for a sequel! Fable III should be coming out at the end of the year. But if you're like me, and you haven't picked up the game yet, for the love of god buy the PLATINUM EDITION of the game. It has a few more patches and all the DLC that's been released for the game (Knothole Island and See The Future) on the same disc - and it's only $20 new! Go buy this!

Man's Best Friend: Fable II's Soul-crushing Ending

(Spoilers Ahead. Go Play The Game You Bastards): Okay, I already made a post about Fable II (technically) but there is more to be said, I tell you. I'm still playing the game many hours after the ending, and I'm still finding tons of things to do. For one: there are a ton of achievables, and it's been awhile since I played an Xbox game where they actually took some time to get, and were actually FUN to get.

Playing the game now, I'm starting to see just how much of the ending I had fazed out. It was like a one-two suckerpunch of...suck. First, after recruiting Reaver, he makes it a point to shoot one of my favorite characters, Barnum the Photographer, directly in the face, right in front of me. Destiny or no, I immediately started smashing the Y-button in a vain attempt to return the favor, to no avail. Then Reaver, of course, betrays you, proving once and for all that you can't trust either of the hosts from A Bit of Fry and Laurie. It seems that dealing with either of them will get you misdiagnosed for lupus or shot in the chest. Or both.

Then, continuing on, I receive quite the shock from Lucien, the evil-bad guy of Fable II. He goes on to tell me, "Hey, dude. You know, I've been waiting for this moment. All that shit you did: yeah, null-and-void, motherf**ker. I just marched my ass over to your three houses and killed your three families, including all your children and that unreasonably hot undead chick you had at that expensive-looking farm. Sucks. Also, I'll be killing you dead right now." And to add as a punctuation mark to this tirade of...lameness, he then proceeds to shoot me and kills my dog in the process!

At this point: lost my family and I lost my dog - just effing shoot me.

He does.

I relive this distant memory in my hero's past in which you run around with your dead sister and shoot bottles, beetles and kick chickens into their coop. The place is gorgeous, but of course I can't find the last bottle and the chickens keep bouncing off the fence of their coop and I only get one inside. Sigh.

Eventually, I kill Lucien wif magic in a neat little ending, and then it comes to the three wishes. I almost immediately choose to resurrect everyone who died in the Shattered Spire's creation, thinking it would include my dog. It didn't. I return to the game with a neat little statue and a halo for my trouble, and a glitched out expensive-as-hell farmhouse that still thinks my wife is living there and it won't let me rent it out. Sigh.

I start progressing through the game again, looking for better weapons, buying up all the houses in Albion, and trying to get some achievements. It's right then that I really start to notice the dog's absence. It started subtly: I'd notice a treasure chest and wonder why my dog hadn't sniffed it out...oh...

Then, I'd start getting rewarded with things like dog treats and tricks manuals. And when I went to a general store to unload the bulk of my inventory, I couldn't help but notice the rubber ball sitting unassumingly near the top of the list, taunting me, reminding me of better times that would never be again.

But the real salt in the wound came when I stumbled across a demon door. I was exploring the area around Rookridge, talking to a friend of mine over XBL, when I see the door through the trees. It's surrounded by blue flowers, lit up under a gray sky. Beautiful sight, until I approach...The ghost of my dead dog comes bounding out of the flowers. He's wagging his tail, barking, looking positively happy, wearing the same collar I had given him at the beginning of the game.

My heart drops.

The demon door, the uber-f**king-bastard, then tells me to make the dog do some tricks. Despite my manly constitution, I start getting teary-eyed as I start having my dog do some of his old tricks. I knew exactly which expressions to do, and he responded to all of them happily, obediently. When the demon door had seen enough, my dog gave me one more yap and sat down amongst the blue flowers, and glowing with their color, he disappeared.

=O

I started freaking out into my headphones, enough that my friend must have pulled his away from his ears in confusion. I was so emotional that I don't even remember what it was that I got from the demon door; it was all a blur.

Now, I've played many RPGs in my day. KotOR and Dragon Age both sent many emotions my way. Mother 3 was very depressing at one moment, but I'm not so sure if any game has made me feel genuinely sad after playing it...well, maybe the Aeris thing...but I'm still sad regardless! So sad!

For that, I must applaud Lionhead Games yet again for making this RPG. I really didn't think I'd end up liking this game at all, but here we are. I'm still playing, making money, traveling around, shooting targets. Need the DLC for the game, or else I'd have the achievement for making love 25 times. Took forever, and I was very confused when I didn't get anything for mine/her trouble. But still! I have plenty more to go. Raising enough money to buy the Brightwood Tower so I can get that gargoyle, and I'm thinking about going out today and buying myself the Platinum Edition of Fable II so that I might go to Knothole Island: to see an old friend.