Aside from work, I've done precisely two things over the last three days: read Knightfall's blog posts and obsessively play Bioware's 2009 D&D-style RPG, Dragon Age: Origins.
And I'm absolutely loving the game, quite a bit more than I did the first time I played it. At that time I played through in a grumbling hurry, confused by the lore and plot, being punished horribly by the steep difficulty, and almost losing it after the largely-dodgy endgame (luckily the very end bits are great.) Then Mass Effect 2 came out, and I forgot all about DA:O (It looks like the initials and then a shocked emoticon) until the extremely meh expansion pack was released, and I read the surprisingly great prequel novel.
This past two weeks, I've been playing DA:O again, and this time... I've just been completely absorbed in it. It's been constantly on my mind. I play long into the night, and I wake before my alarm clock, so I can get juuust one more conversation in with Shale, or kill juuuust enough darkspawn to level up, so as I can wear that heavy chainmail that's a slightly lighter colour than the one I'm wearing now. I think because I now understand the plot better, and I'm revelling in how flexible it is - the dialogue options, the plot decisions, the inventory. My character feels like my character, whereas Commander Shepard feels like Bioware's.
This is what I call the 'KotOR feeling'! And it's More than a Feeling. It's... a way of life, or something. What I mean is, this is exactly what I want from a role-playing videogame. I want it to be like Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic, the game which brought me back into games, made me into a Star Wars fan, thrilled me for a year and even influenced my writing. It brought me into fanfiction, and thus into renewed writing. I know Knightfall has a similar story. He and I truly revere KotOR, and with good reason. The plot was incredible, the voice acting was a cut above (at the time). This is what I would call a true role-playing experience. You felt like you were that Jedi apprentice. For the week and a half it took to play through, the Ebon Hawk was your home, Jolee Bindo was your mentor, Mission Vao was your respnsibility and Lord Malak was most displeased to learn you had escaped Taris alive. Through its tight, excellent and immersive story, it sucked you in and forced you to abandon every other part of your life until you were done.
I remember the first time I beat that game... It was my first RPG unless you count Zelda. At the first I had no idea what I was supposed to do or why clicking people initiated lengthy, casual conversations about seemingly trivial things. After a couple of days I was hooked, and a week later I was astounded. I remember excitedly telling my brother about this amazing new game: 'I just finished it - I saved the Republic, fell in love with my Jedi teacher, resisted the dark side, conVERTed the girl from the dark side, and even convinced the Sith Lord that I was right and he was wrong - right before killing him with my YELLOW lightsaber! And holy crap... there's this twist... you've got to play this!!' And what's great is that all those things I mentioned are optional. None of those are set as part of the plot. I chose to persue those goals, and when they came together into a perfect Star Wars story, it blew me away. Oh, and the 'evil' decisions I made a few weeks later were also incredible.
At the very end, when the classic John Williams theme music kicked in and the credits rolled over the story's climax (and a teasing hint at a sequel) I was so excited I pumped my fist into the air like a fool. I couldn't help it! I beleive it's called the 'Manly Arm Pump' expression, but it didn't look so manly then. The game occupied me for the best part of a year: I had KotOR weeks and non KotOR weeks. I dreamed I was playing the game, I read fanfiction and heard the game's plot in every song on the radio. And every time I got to the end, I involuntarily did the arm pump, reviewing the choices I'd made, the character I felt I'd co-created and the ending s/he had created. It was like being in love! But with a videogame about Jedi Knights. I know this blog doesn't exactly make me sound mature.
When I reached the end of KotOR 2 (the somewhat disappointing, rushed sequel by Obsidian Entertainment) I did not do the arm pump. I did it for Jade Empire several times, and Mass Effect once or twice, but that game wasn't so immersive. I loved Jade Empire, KotOR 2, Mass Effect, Dragon Age: Origins and Mass Effect 2 (and also Bethesda's The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion), but never became so obsessed as the first time.
I also loved Fable 2, when I played it through twice more than a year ago. Like Knightfall, I was amused but not thrilled by the first Fable. But number 2 was a triumph. It's a fun, action-RPG set in Dickensian England, with guns, goblins who wear top hats, Julia Swahala, Zoe Wannamaker, Shepard Book and Stephen Fry... those Scottish gargoyles... a cockney hero... and in general, a great deal of loving passion and a magnificent sense of humour. I don't really care for the silent hero, the button-mashing and the halo that forms around my 'good' character's head, and the plot is generally very shallow and silly (but much better than you'd expect). But that's deliberate, and that's fine. It's an excellent game, and a perfect example of what a sequel should be: it's like Fable 1, but with all it's major faults removed apologetically (and even joked about in-game), and great, new innovative features added.
And now... I come to the point of this post. Knightfall said something in his Fable 2 review on Friday, which chilled my blood.
"That's the sin that BioWare keeps committing, but shouldn't. Sure, they rectified this in Mass Effect 2, FINALLY giving you the ability to keep playing after the main storyline is done, but there's nothing to that galaxy. There's nothing to do outside of the quests. I can't get a job, because I'm already the effing savior of the universe. I can't own a house, because I got captain's quarters and, you know, your life is your job. That's the one thing that I'd take to BioWare on a flag or something: if we're gonna save the galaxy, give us a reason to save it besides blue women."
Whoooooah there, Billy.
Bioware, if you're reading, ignore him. Good, solid endings are not a sin. The tangible, beautifully-acted love of a blue woman is a better reason to save the galaxy than ownership of a house in which there is a nameless woman who says 'Welcome home, darling' when you walk in.
What I'm trying to say here (and what this article was supposed to be about) is: I HATE carrying on the game after the end. I really like endings - I think they're the best part of almsot any story - the bit where everything ties together, and everything is resolved. The author's points are driven home, the characters demonstrate how they've changed, the world is changed for good. So why would you want it to... carry on for a bit after that? It's like The Return of the King! It should have ended long before they returned to the Shire and drove-out Sharkey!
I like my Bioware RPGs (as opposed to Lionhead or Obsidian) because they have solid, well-crafted stories. The endings (although lately they are suffering... ME2...) are powerful and contain complete 'closure'. In the last moment, I always think about (and very occasionally do) the Manly Arm Pump - because I know the epic story is finally over and I'm looking back. In the run up to the end - when I have my final conversations with the party-members or take one last stroll around the places I've been - there is a wonderful bittersweet feeling. 'This character will never talk to Kaidan again' ... 'That's the last time I'll fight alongside Canderous; I wonder what he'll do now the war is over' ... 'I'll spend all my remaining money on the special armour now, and equip Duncan's swords for the final battle.'
I don't like it when the story ends... but you don't. Rather than ending on a bang, the character ends with a whimper. He ends when you get bored of side-quests. I hate seeing the world AFTER the cataclysmic events of the ending... and seeing it's just the same.
That said, I played Fable 2 for a while after its end. Not having my dog was indeed heartbreaking. God damn, I love that dog. Bravo, Lionhead. And it was nice to wander about, aquiring and collecting things for fun. But I wish this could all have happenned as part of the story proper.
And as for Mass Effect 2... you win, you fly around... nothing happens... you fly around more. You go to some place and fight some mechs, you get credits. You go back. No-one talks to you.
Story-based games should end when the story ends. Bioware made me pump my arm into the air every time I beat KotOR and Jade Empire! It was a rush.
Dragon Age is giving me something very close to the KotOR feeling as I play it now. I've been playing for 54 hours, which is a record. It's an excellent game, (if one with a complex plot and too much backstory required.)
I just played through this one scene where one of the characters (my elven PC's love interest at that) randomly sings a goddamn beautiful ancient elven song - just before the endgame kicks in - and the camera shows us reactions from the hero and the other members of my party. The song reflects the quest we just finished, and some of the greater themes of the plot. And it tied itself into my own backstory and character seamlessly. Above and beyond the call of duty, Bioware. More songs please.
I've shaped my character and her story arcs, making my Grey Warden and Alistair mirror Loghain and King Maric in their pasts and relationships with each other and their party. I've grown immensely fond of talking to my followers and getting their pasts out of them, earning their favour and loyalty through carefully chosen questions and gifts. I'm going to be genuinely sad when I find out which one of the two lead heroes will die this time, and imagining what happens to the other one.
Leave that feeling in. I like endings.
