Christopher Hitchens (1949-2011)

In memory of Christopher Hitchens, political essayist, radical and antitheist.

The Dragonfeed, part 2

Massive essay about how great Skyrim is deleted for reasons of pointlessness. If you'd like my opinions / reactions to Skyrim in general, then see this short video review summarising my feelings.

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....... Anyway, Knight and I have been loving this game, and the seemingly unlimited list of cool experiences and brilliant little bits it offers. We even kept a list for the first couple of weeks.
Well, I'm still playing the same adventure with the same lonely elf, and I'm still getting all excited when I discover new stuff. Here are some that I missed-out on!

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December 8th - Buch's final day in Skyrim

That is to say, the end of my first run-through.

(I'm a bit wary of spoiling the main quest's plot here, so I'll just be very vague and if you've done the last few quests you'll know what I mean.)

- Did something amazing that I've always wanted to do with a dragon ever since I used to watch Knightmare on TV as a kid. Sadly it only happened for like, a second. Seems like they could have made a much bigger deal out of it. :(

- Enjoyed some really neat interactive archery training, in which the trainer had me actually firing at targets rather than just paying for skill points. Really nice touch. I wish every skill had one of these.

- Got bored and went around Whiterun at night shooting things with my bow, just trying to see what I could knock over. Highlights included hanging salmon, which flapped up and down with arrows in them, a cheese wheel which I then picked up by the arrow, and a plate with goblets on it, which I shot so neatly that the goblets landed right-side up, as if I'd whipped-out a tablecloth. I was drinking when I did this.

- TRAVELLED TO VALHALLA!

- In the final battle, found myself fighting a dragon as part of a team consisting of a barbarian, an old wizard, a warrior woman with a sword, and an elven archer (me).

Exactly like this! If we'd had a dwarf with us, it would have been even better.

- Finished the main quest, and with it my first playthrough.

I have to say, actually, I was quite disappointed with how it ended. There was plenty of first-rate visual spectacle, but not much else. It ended much quicker than I'd assumed, there was little plot significance or fanfare, and more than anything - it was really easy. I adored that final fight but we took the guy down in about two minutes. I mean, it was four versus one!
And afterwards, there was nothing. Unlike Oblivion, nobody seemed to care or have anything to say about the fact that I'd saved the world. It was very business-as-usual. Not even a quick voice-over sequence from Christopher Plummer. After all the build-up and cinematic quality to the main quest, this was a real surprise.

Shame.

In any case, Skyrim is bloody amazing and, I can honestly say, one of the best videogames in my collection. It's close to a masterpiece - it offers nothing new (basically it's elements of Oblivion, Morrowind and Fallout: New Vegas combined) but it's so, so honed. Aside from fixing the legion of bugs, trying something new or putting a better ending on there, I fail to see how this one could be improved. It's the Western RPG refined to near-perfection.
And on a personal note, Skyrim's setting and main story just happen to be exactly what I've been wanting to experience in a video RPG for years and years. (See Gauntlet picture above).
I finally got my dragons, solitude and Vikings. And they were incredible.

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin,
naal ok zin, los vahriin.

Sky guide you.

December 6th

Buch:

- Finally explored Falkreath a bit. Having become Thane of everywhere else, done loads of jobs for his people and killed a dragon inside the town, I went up to the Jarl and asked if I could help him out........ and he asked me to give him some of my mead.

- Recieved a magic ring which 'Randomly makes the wearer become a werewolf'. Oh, great.

- Told yet another Daedric Prince to bugger off. I'm getting a habit here of denying and generally being rude to Daedra.

- Returned to the place where I killed that guy... everyone is mad at me. Left in a hurry. :(

- Got married! There were four guests (three of my friends and that one guy who appears to be stalking her) and a single day in preparation. The ceremony lasted about three minutes. Weddings are cheap in Skyrim! But at least I got the brilliant dialogue choice between 'I do' and 'Stop the wedding! I can't go through with this!'

- Got a new house and went around decorating it with enchanted swords and Nirnroot and stuff. Nice feeling.

- Shot a vampire in the neck while she was sleeping. NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

December 3rd-5th

Buch:

- I've been going through the final act of the main quest. Today I sat at the super-friends council at High Hrothgar. Made Ellenwen (of the Thalmor) look pretty silly and thoroughly enjoyed being the only universally-popular guy (despite being the only non-human) at the table, thus recieving the big piece of chicken. Made some tough decisions, generally tried to favour neither the Stormcloaks or Empire. I think the Empire are weak and too much under the Altmers' thumb, but have good intentions. Ulfric is smart, loyal and has Talos on his side... but I think he'd just replace the Thalmor with his own Nordic thugs. If you ask me, Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun ought to be High King. He's the only character in the whole place who I trust an inch and seems to have an ounce of wisdom about him.

- Also killed about a hundred dragons. Season Unending indeed.

- Seem to have pissed off the Blades now - after spending so much time building them up I feel rather sad about that. I feel like Inspector Gadget if Penny and Brain ran away from home.

- Been spending my time with 'Darth' Mjoll the Lioness, who is my new sidekick and substitute-Blades.

- Bizarrely, I find myself forging alliances with Maven Blackbriar and killing drug-dealers to win her favour. Again I love how this game makes you feel so uneasy and grey, no matter what choices you make. There are no happily-ever-afters in Skyrim, but there are adventures, and thought-provoking moments.

- Got engaged to Mjoll! In the middle of a Dwemer dungeon, which was more romantic than it sounds. I could hear that story about her dad's hunting expeditions a hundred (more) times, and now I probably will. I wonder what the marriage system will be like in this game.... presumably identical to the rather weak one in Fable... but hey! Why not. So far Mjoll is one of the few characters I genuinely respect and am yet to alienate or fight (Jarl Balgruuf doesn't seem to be picking up 'the signs', so.)

November 28th - December 2nd

Buch:

- Met and conversed with a dragon.

- Gone back in time and gone 'Whoooah' at the background of what I saw. I was barely paying attention to the actual dialogue because there were tons of dragons flying around behind it. I love the way this game (unlike Oblivion or even most of Dragon Age) goes for spectacle -- I think that sense of 'Holy crap look at all those dragons and this enourmous white chasm!' is a big part of the fantasy story experience.

- Learned a 'shout' called 'Marked for Death'. Damn, I wish all my shouts were named after Stephen Segal movies! 'On Deadly Ground'? 'Under Siege'? 'Exit Wounds'? 'Hard to Kill'? The possibilities are enormous, here! What a missed opportunity.

- Got myself a house, in Whiterun. It is full of bugs. The bookshelf doesn't work. Still though, it's nice to think of myself as a citizen.

- Played a game of 'hide and seek' with a little girl, in the stone maze-like city of Markarth. And I actually had fun playing it, too. I lost.

- Saw that damn Headless Horseman again! Once again he would not stop to explain what the hell he's doing in Skyrim.

- Put on an Amulet of Mara (for a quest) and was surprised that three large, burly men (and one large, burly woman) asked me to marry them. I... huh? I was... kind of hoping for pretty young bards to chat me up, rather than an Argonian blacksmith. But thanks.

- Got myself arrested and escaped from the 'unescapable' jail........ at a serious cost - murdering an innocent man. Later I suddenly realised I could have turned-away the guy who told me to do it and escaped alone, so my 'greater good' turned out to be sheer foolishness and cowardice. Felt terrible. Now this is role-playing.

- Made Mehrunes Dagon look like a punk! An absolute punk. And then, to rub it in, got into his base and killed his dudes. I may be a murderer, but damn it -- I made Mehrunes Dagon look like a right tart.

- Got morally caught between the Blades and the Greybeards. I love the way the sense of heroism for the Dragonborn is muddled and always comes across as unsure, empty and foreboding. Not sure what to do here. Don't want to end up with more innocent blood on my hands.

- Discovered this. God-damn. God-damn. Yes.

- Met up with an old friend (besides Ma'iq) from Cyrodiil. Finally stopped collecting Nirnroots. Let them grow.

- Stood naked outside Mehrunes Dagon's shrine and shouted 'Marked for Death' at him while jumping up and down. I hope he's not Out for Justice.

Pictured: My character.

Book Review - Eaters of the Dead by Michael Crichton

I'm not sure why I started another Michael Crichton novel. Though the late author was obviously a very intelligent, very talented individual, The Andromeda Strain read like a training manual of some kind. Or a really stiff recap of an episode of 24. Though it was certainly waaaaay ahead of its time at one point, it reads like contemporary fiction that's way too fascinated by dated technology. Imagine the marvels of one day operating a computer with only a small group of three people!

Brilliant!

Anyway, Eaters of the Dead. I tried it out because it was of average length, it came with glowing recommendations from a friend of mine, and I vaguely remember liking the movie adaptation, The 13th Warrior. Plus, I can't help but check out a good viking yarn. But I've gotta say, this was a fantastic book. Not the best written book out there, but that's kind of the point, I guess; so in that sense, it manages to maintain a kind of illusion that makes the story all the more engaging. When you're finished, you might just put down the book feeling grateful you were born in this era. It's hard out there for a viking.

The main premise of this book is that it was not actually written by Michael Crichton, but that it's actually a journal of experiences taken down by a Muslim ambassador from Baghdad, Ahmad ibn Fadlan, concerning a journey to Volga Bulgaria that was never completed. At some point in his travels, Ahmad and his party encounter savage Northmen camped near the sea. After falling in with them overnight, and bearing witness to some of their more primal customs, he is forcibly conscripted into their band and taken to defend the lands of King Rothgar, somewhere in Scandinavia. Their reasoning behind this is that because their group numbers only twelve, such an undertaking would be a very unlucky thing to, since thirteen is considered an almost holy number to them. So, they take Ahmad, thus making him their thirteenth warrior.

Considering that this is the journal of a man in the 10th century who had only basic writing experience and had never left the desert in his life, his initial travels across the sea and into the unknown make for a very entertaining thing to read. The things he focuses on, specifically the water, all of the plants, and how he's the darkest person most of these vikings have ever met was interesting. These brief, very human observations are what put me in a state of mind that made accepting this as a real journal very easy.

There's also the fact that he can only really talk to one of the warriors, since all but one have no understanding of Ahmad's language. There are also little conflicts between himself and the other twelve, since he is a staunch Muslim and an educated man, while the others are polytheistic and live like they are going to die tomorrow, always tomorrow. Their little cultural duels were pretty hilarious, as Ahmad's insistence on bathing everyday is seen as completely weird, while the Northmen have no reservations about laying with a slavewoman only a few feet away for all to see.

After a long journey across the sea, across unknown lands, and then once more across some kinda secondary sea, the thirteen arrive at King Rothgar's nation and are granted a hero's welcome. Ahmad soon discovers that the reason for their being summoned across the face of the world was to do battle with strange "mist monsters" that they've taken to calling "wendol" - which is Scandinavian for "black mist" if I recall. These monsters come in the night, when the mist is thickest, and slaughter anyone they can get their hands on. They're also headhunters and cannibals, so they have that to contend with.

The rest of the book recounts Ahmad and the rest of the thirteen's battles with the wendol, and it really is just one unsettling encounter after another.

If you remember that this book is told through the eyes of a man who's never seen the world outside of the desert and is hanging around warriors whose sense of mysticism is deeply bred into them, then you'll find yourself constantly trying to interpret what Ahmad has written down. What does he mean when he sees a dragon in the distance? Leviathans in the waters of the ocean? A man with the head of a bear? For the most part, it's open to interpretation, but sometimes Crichton adds little annotations at the bottom of the page to clue the reader in on the manuscript's history, the various translations it's gone through, and how things may have been misinterpreted. For a story that's (for the most part) fiction, Crichton really goes out of the way to make sure that you actually learn some things about both Arab and viking cultures in the process.

And as I said, the book is for the most part fiction. Most of what you read in the beginning of the book is almost straight out of a real manuscript from a real ambassador on his way to Volga Bulgaria, while the rest is sort of a retelling of Beowulf with a much firmer foot in reality. (Much like the newer King Arthur film.) To that end, you're not really sure where the real manuscript begins and where Crichton's words begin, since it seems that among his many talents, he was also able to adapt his writing style to that of a 1oth century Muslim ambassador.

I really liked Eaters of the Dead, and it's probably my favorite Crichton book of the four that I've read so far - and of the two I actually remember in detail. It's not a terrifying book, but it's more than unsettling as it effortlessly conjures up an age when giving in to savage and primal instincts was a more common occurrence - and dying in glorious battle, with a slave tossed onto your pyre, was your greatest concern of all.

Star Wars: The Old Republic (Beta) Impressions

Sorry for the many typos. I'm sick with a cold, and have been playing an MMO all day. Bad combination.

It'd be hard to properly describe the resounding sigh I managed when it was announced the "sequel" to the Knights of the Old Republic games would be an MMO. I remember thinking, "This is it. The series is finished. They're going to get caught up in making silly, standard MMORPG quests that boil down to Kill Ten Rats or Collect Three Eggs or Flip That Switch. Oh, and BioWare's bringing back their voiced protagonist, just like in Mass Effect and Dragon Age 2. Because, you know, that was my favorite part of those games."

tl;dr - "God dammit!"

So, I casually checked up on it, never really seeing anything that I particularly clicked with. The quests did look standard and did boil down to shutting down three relays, or what have you. And the voice acting never really blew me away. I just never saw anything that justified an MMO over KotOR 3. Regardless, I still signed up for the beta, thinking that I should at least give it a try before I wrote it off completely. Similar thinking went into my purchase of The Old Republic: Revan, which has, indeed, been written off.

As of right now, I've put about ten hours into Star Wars: The Old Republic (in one day, sheesh) and I've just gotten off of the intro world, which put me at about level 12 if I remember correctly. What surprises me right now is that, on the whole, my experience has been largely positive. After all the ranting that I've done and all my talk about how BioWare is pretty much dead to me, I'm sitting here honestly contemplating purchasing this game. In my eyes, there's been a decline in quality output from BioWare, but if this game's any kind of evidence: the BioWare that I loved isn't gone for good; they've just been busy making this game.

Getting Started (Races and Classes):

It's that thrilling intro to any good RPG: making your character. In Star Wars: The Old Republic, you have a respectable list of both classes and races, making it every possible to create the kind of character that you've always wanted to play in a Star Wars campaign. There are eight classes in all, with two from each faction (Sith and Republic) being blaster-oriented, non-Force users, and the other two being Jedi or Sith, with one focusing on Force-based abilities and the other more combat/lightsaber-centric.

The cool thing being that you won't be at a disadvantage picking the class that you want. Picking a smuggler won't make you easy pickings for any Sith that happen by, since, if you play your cards right, you can pretty much take down anybody as anybody... Yeah, that made sense.

Not wanting to instantly go Sith or Jedi, I went with the Human smuggler, not expecting to like it a whole lot. The customization was pretty good, so I was able to end up with a character that resembled me a little bit (at least in the goatee region). The game starts out with the standard opening crawl that's specific to your class and you get introduced to what the main storyline (also class-specific) will end up being. With the smuggler, you essentially receive the biggest kick to the crotch the galaxy can conceive for such a character: you get your damn ship stolen.

Welcome to Ord Mantell:

Both the trooper and smuggler classes both end up on the same planet when they start out, and that planet is Ord Mantell: a place that is beginning to tear itself apart as Separatists clash with the ruling Republic in a brutal civil war. My smuggler, Revanth, was dropping off a shipment of weapons when his ship was taken my a separatist spy. Left for dead, I had to make for the nearest Republic outpost, which acted as my main quest hub for the remainder of my stay.

Basically, getting my weapons shipment stolen effectively pissed off the planet's main crime lord, marking a few of his associates and myself for death if we couldn't come up with a solution to the problem. My main contact, a big man named Viidu, sent me on a few missions of appeasement while the location of my ship and its contents were tracked down.

Most of the quests that I experienced were fairly basic when you got right down to it - but then they weren't. For instance, one quest had me going to investigate a crate of medicine that had been stolen. Soon after, I meet another NPC, a Cathar nurse, who admitted that she had stolen the medicine to distribute it to the Mantellian refugees, specifically the children who sat around her. As if that wasn't enough, then you're given options. Help her retrieve more medicine for the refugees, or threaten one of the kids at gunpoint to force her to surrender what she has.

Awesome.

See, the dialogue options for this game aren't altogether deep; you typically only get three responses for any given conversation. But having any way to respond to a given quest was amazing to me, since if you've played as many MMOs as I have, you've never had that ability before. Not only that, there are sometimes more than one way to finish a quest. Once, I was tasked with breaking a guy out of prison, then on my way out of the outpost, I was stopped by a soldier and asked to kill the guy instead (for reasons that seemed justified). So now, an MMO is toying with you, asking that endlessly-intriguing question: Do the ends justify the means?

Or another question: Which one of these refugees, do you wager, will make it through the minefield without dying?

Yeah, that happened. You get to bet on whether or not starving refugees can make it through a minefield without exploding - thus earning the food and water rations they so desperately want.

Awesome.

The game, so far, is simply rife with hundreds of little decisions, ranging from minor to major. Your character never talks out of turn or carries on the conversation without your input, and sometimes you're even given the option to simply react to certain things. I don't want to spoil too much, but there's a bit concerning an encrypted instruction manual that had me cracking up.

Is it as immersive as, say, Dragon Age: Origins or Fallout: New Vegas? Not really. The paraphrasing system drives me insane sometimes - and it's not like Mass Effect where if something like THIS happens, you can just reload the game. There's no reloading an MMO. I dearly hope there's an option to see how your character is going to respond (i.e. -Deus Ex: Human Revolution) implemented in the future.

Still, I think I've made more decisions, no matter how small, than are available in all of Mass Effect, and I've just gotten off of the tutorial level. The game finds ways to keep you involved.

The Smuggler's Guide to Combat:

The first time I kicked a guy in the crotch, I laughed out loud. World of Warcraft did a really good job of making sure each class had their own unique play style, and I'm really glad The Old Republic has made that attempt, as well. As a smuggler, I can really play like a smuggler. Cheap shots, taking cover, tossing grenades, charged blaster shots, causing internal damage. Giving a smuggler these abilities makes sense to me.

The cover system is your friend with this class, since some of your abilities rely on it. Initially, I couldn't make heads or tails of how to work it, but trial and error eventually helped me realize that it's pretty fluid. Ironically, it actually works better than in Mass Effect, since you can take cover behind a lot of things, not just conveniently-placed chest-high walls. It feels more real in that sense, because sometimes cover won't be that obvious.

So I'm having a blast playing as a smuggler. I've been in a party composed entirely of Jedi, and I didn't feel helpless or useless in comparison. In fact, I gave some of them a run for their money, and bailed them out a few times when they got a little ahead of themselves.

I stop laying down covering fire for a few seconds, and suddenly everyone's getting delusions of grandeur. Heh.

Knight's First Flashpoint:

There are instanced "dungeons" in The Old Republic, but not in the conventional sense. In your average dungeon, in WoW or RIFT or what-have-you, you run through with your party or raid to kill all of the enemies, defeat all of the bosses, and pick up some XP and sweet, sweet loot along the way.

That basic format remains unchanged for this game, but with the addition of many of those decisions that saturate the rest of the game. Each dungeon, or "flashpoint", has its own story that stems directly from your own, along with a series of developments that you and your party will have to talk your way through.

My first flashpoint was "The Esseles", a Republic transport on its way from Ord Mantell to Coruscant. En route, the transport is attacked by a Sith star-destroyer (or whatever they're called in this Era) and subsequently boarded. Their demand is that we hand over a Twi'lek diplomat, or else. You can make the decision to hand her over willingly, but I'm not sure if it amounts to anything. The other three people in my party were all playing their strictly light side Jedi.

So, we decided to defend the ship instead of handing the diplomat over, which led to a bunch of fighting and story progression. There are a few twists and turns, which I won't spoil, but overall it was a fantastic experience.

When it comes to the cutscenes (and there are many), the entire party is involved. You'll be given your list of responses, but the game rolls to see whose will actually be chosen, so everyone gets a chance to respond to NPCs over the course of the flashpoint without everyone talking at once. This also means that crucial decisions can be decided by the minority. In one part, we were asked to sacrifice one member of the crew in order to save the rest. My Jedi buddies immediately chose the light side option, which was to refuse, while I selected the dark side option, to agree. I won the roll, which meant that part of the story progressed how I wanted.

This gives the flashpoints a sense of unpredictability, since the decision of one player can throw the story in an entirely different direction, giving you different results each time. It also added another facet to what would otherwise be your standard dungeon, since we all began discussing what we should do, how we should react. You can pretty much have a BioWare-style moral confict as a group, which was very, very fun.

That little chat window also offers you a chance to maintain a running commentary with your group throughout the cutscenes, which only added to the fun.

And it really was fun.

To Sum Up:

I'm having a blast with this game, which is really, really not what I was expecting. At all. The lore of the Old Republic Era is constantly making an appearance, both through dialogue and visuals. Unlike Dragon Age 2, the universe isn't experienced through codex entries alone; if you want to visit the Galactic Senate on Coruscant, f**king go there. Tatooine, Alderaan, Nar Shaddaa, Hoth, the ruins of Taris. They're all here! And honestly, I can't wait to see them if what I've seen of Coruscant is any indication of their quality.

What I've seen is a small portion of the game, and arguably the beginning of any game is always the most polished, so I'm not sure how my opinion will swing down the line. But for now, this about sums up my current feelings on The Old Republic:

Awwwww, yeaaaaaah!

The Dragon Feed [Updated: 11/24/11]

For an introduction to what we're doing here, check this out!

~~~Character Introductions~~~

Knight: Like I did with Oblivion, I chose the male dark elf route with the intention of eventually joining the Dark Brotherhood. I tried to make him look as young as possible, but they all seemed to have this grizzled look about them. Also, I gave him a beard, so he kinda looks like a mix between a Grey and Tom Hanks from Cast Away.

In terms of his backstory, I've been operating under the assumption that he's a descendant of my last dark elf from Oblivion, so he has a political leaning toward the Empire, but not to a fault. The opening events of the game definitely pushed him closer to the center of the aisle than he would've been otherwise. He's not gung-ho about killing at random, so I have no idea how I'm going to get him into the Dark Brotherhood like I'd originally planned. He's not all that thrilled about this Dragonborn business either, but he's seen the destruction an out-of-control dragon can cause, and is willing to at least go that extra step to see if he can help in some small part.

He's also not all that fond of spiders.

For now, he's dual-wielding daggers that he partially forged himself, and frequently tries in vain to kill large beasts. He has died many, many times, and it's my opinion that his powers as a Dragonborn pale in comparison to his ability to resurrect himself at a previous point in time.

--

Buch: My character is actualy pretty similar: grizzled and bearded and a (wood) elf rogue! He has a scar, dirt on his face (why is that an option?), a bunch of muscles and a flat nose, as if it got punched too many times. The idea was to make an elf who would pass for a Nord at a glance, so that he would suit Skyrim better as its saviour but still seem alien.

I don't have much of a backstory yet, but I have it in my head that he's a self-hating elf with a very shady past, who has now fled Dominion-occupied Valenwood and Cyrodiil for a more lonely, human land. He has no particular leaning toward either Ulric or the Legion -- and neither do I, honestly. But both he and I constantly find ourselves accidentally supporting one side and feeling really bad about the repercussions. We'll see how this plays out. But he does enjoy fighting dragons. But not wolves. He is fracking sick of wolves.

~~~Skyrim Status Updates~~~

November 24th:

Buch:

- I'm concerned about spoiling the main plot, but I recruited J'zargo and Lydia - the ultimate team, surely - into Delphine's secret club. Seriously though, they both kick ass on the field. I figure now I should get either a tank or some kind of archer as the third member! In a oerfect world, a dwarf. Then we'd have a fighter, a wizard and a dwarf. Ahhh. Perfect Gauntlet Team.

- Killed about a thousand dragons now. It's starting to get old. I can't believe I'm criticising this game, but maybe a few less dragons? Everywhere I go I find one. J'zargo has now helped me kill two. Even he is sick of them.

- I'm so engrossed and enchanted by this world, that today I found myself dragging the body of a tortured man out of the chamber and into a respectful position by the cave door -- just so that whoever goes to pick the body up for burial doesn't have to see what happened to him. None of these people really exist. I just couldn't leave him there in a bloodied chair.

Knight:

- Joined the Daaaaaark Brotherhood! Just like in Oblivion, the quality of the writing suddenly skyrockets the second you enter their sanctuary.

- Killed a blood dragon like it was a regular dragon! Getting a lot of mileage out of these daggers!

-Okay. So, one of the perks of the Dark Brotherhood outfit is that it doubles the damage of sneak attacks. With Assassin's Blade already in place, I do 30x damage when I do sneak attacks now. GG, Skyrim, GG.

November 23rd:

Buch:

- Infiltrated the Thalmor Embassay and thought maybe it would help if I stole a uniform from one of the few guards I killed. I saved, thinking, 'This will never work - the game isn't that adaptive... and besides, I'm a wood-elf, not a high-elf: I'll look too short, even with the hood up. Might as well give it a try...'
The next guard I saw asked me to come closer, and when I changed direction to avoid him I heard him mutter, "Must be the new arrival. He seems a bit short." Awesome, Skyrim. Just awesome.

- Found an Orcish hunter wandering around, who yelled, 'WE HAVE BEEN HUNTING' at me. I asked him what he had for sale. "MEAT. FROM FRESH KILLS!" Looked in his inventory and found a single pheasant breast. Well done, mate. I bet it put up a hell of a fight.

- Was walking down the road with Delphine and THE FUCKING HEADLESS HORSEMAN comes riding past. No joke. The headless. Horseman. I clicked on him. You know what the description said? 'Headless Horseman'. What the hell was that, Skyrim?!

November 22nd:

Buch:

- Actually finished the Mages' College questline. It's pretty short, but I liked it a lot. Also learned some great spells.

- Whilst at the college, killed a dragon in the courtyard after rounding up my fellow apprentices to help me. Harry Potter joke!

- Contracted something called bone-break fever. Laughed my head off. xD

Knight:

- EMPEROR! PELAGIUS! THE THIRD!

- Decided I was gonna walk to Riften to buy a wedding necklace (Necklace of Mara, methinks). Discovered a small town on the way, cleared out some spiders for 'em (*shiver*), and killed a bunch of bandits in a nearby fort. Two hours later, I had hardly progressed at all, according to the map.

- Went to marry Ysolda and the event glitched twice. Guess I'm a single Dovahkiin for now.

November 21st:

Buch: I've not been updating so here are a few for the last few days!

- Explored Windhelm some more and solved the murder. A few bugs on that quest. I really am conflicted about Ulfric now - hate him and admire him at the same time. But I love the way the character is written and played. This kind of complexity in characters and plot is a real step forward for Bethesda, if you ask me.

- Joined the Mages' College (I've abandoned the Companions - they are idiots), got some training and learned a few destruction spells. So now I major in archery, one-handed and spells. I am the ultimate RPG hero!

- Got a new, darker-coloured, hood. This is a big deal for me.

- Explored an underwater shipwreck at the edge of the map whilst my favourite background music played and a spell made my vision all green - at night, as the Northern Lights were starting up. I can't tell you how good that felt.

- Bought a horse. Found it a bit awkward to use, since the roads are so thin and meandering, and don't appear on the in-game map.

- Lost the horse almost immediately. I guess it died when I was exploring? A bit like that bit in The Neverending Story, except that I was like 'eh'.

- Read a book about the non-existence of Talos. The title - The Talos Mistake. Brilliant little dig at / reference to my beloved Dawkins book. :D

November 20th:

Knight:

- I've discovered there's no point in even attempting to go mine your own ore unless you're training smelting. Warmaiden's has pretty much every ore under the sun for sale for the lazy miner.

- Completed a quest for a statue, and she pulled me up into the sky to talk to me about my next task. When some kind of deity yanks you off the ground and holds you so far up there that it would take a few long moments to even hit High Hrothgar on the way down... you don't refuse.

- Still wondering whom I should marry. Ysolda has job security, since she might be buying that inn pretty soon. Lydia, however, has no job security, since she'll be fighting dragons with me. These are the tough choices Dovahkiin make on the daily.

- Finally got two elven daggers to match my elven armor. I look like an idiot, but the health bonus is to die for - or not to die for. There's a joke there...

November 18th:

Knight:

- I was making my way back to the Riverside Shack, a little place that I've claimed as my home away from home, when there came a loud roar that, at first, I mistook for the wind. Continuing on, a mist fell upon the forest. The roar came again, louder this time. I drew my daggers, expecting the worst, and scanned my surroundings in a panic. Just beyond the treeline, a massive shadow swooped down and then disappeared back into the mist. I started running, dodging trees and sliding down cliffs, just as fast as my feet could take me.

Another terrible roar. It seemed right there next to me that time. I waded through a hot spring and hopped over a sulfur-encrusted fissure. With the sound of the river in my ears, I looked over my shoulder just in time to see something emerge from the mistBLAGHSDFJIOJFS! Blood Dragon.

Buch: I really thought you were going to say a bear. xD

November 17th:

Buch:

- Went adventuring with Lydia the housecarl and outfitted her with all-new weapons and armour. Killed monsters, hunted vampires, spoke to a dog with a silly East Coast accent. Must go adventuring with Lydia again some time. xD

- Met the hidden Blade and returned to High Hrothgar to finish my training with the Greybeards. I've never felt so much like Luke Skywalker. I even took off my armour and wore a tattered brown shirt for the occasion - such is the power of this game over my emotions. Stood at the top of the tower and gave my first complete Shout. 'Reluctant hero act' indeed! Beware, beware, the Dragonborn comes. :D

- Finally travelled East and met Ulfric Stormcloak. My heart actually sank when I found out he wasn't the honour-bound idealist I had imagined and (kind of) hoped for. Brilliant speaker though - even at this moment he made me think twice.

November 16th:

Knight:

- Tried to enroll in the Bards College at Solitude. The headmaster-or-whatever said that before I would be accepted, I had to take a perilous journey across the plains of Skyrim and find a place long forgotten called Dead Man's Respite. There, deep within that dark and deathly dungeon, I would find a tome of great importance to the bards. When I returned alive with that tome then, and only then, would I be allowed into the college... Luckily! I had already been to that dungeon.

- I'm a bard now.

- In a panic, I Shouted a sabertooth cat off of a cliff. It did a stiff 180 degree spin and disappeared over the edge. I've killed my share of dragons, but that was the first time in the game I've felt truly badass.

- Climbed the Seven Thousand Steps and met that silly frost troll. Died three or four times before I remembered Assassin's Blade. Took some stupid path up the side of the mountain, dropped down a cliff and landed directly behind the troll. Killed him in one shot. Neeeeeeiccee!

- Discovered the site of an ambush. A note revealed that the two victims (a Redguard and Nord) lying dead in the road were husband and wife - married for twenty years and deeply in love. I dragged them to the side of the road, arranged them in a respectful position next to each other, and set off to find their killers.

Buch:

- Refused a creepy and out-of-nowhere invitation to join Team Jacob and go murder people for no particular reason. Walked away slowly.

- Yo dawg, we heard you like dragons, so we sent the dragonborn and the housecarl from Dragon's Reach to fight a dragon in Dragons Bridge, right next to the dragon bridge.

November 15th:

Buch:

- Took a carriage to see Solitude for the first time. Got out, looked around and saw the city. It literally took my breath away.

- Climbed up the 'Seven Thousand Steps'.

- Joined the 'Companions'. I can't take it seriously because I keep thinking about 'Firefly'. Whoring, is what it means to be a Companion. Whoring is what it is.

November 14th:

Knight:

- This woman in Whiterun was pretty insistent that I get her a mammoth's tusk, but I really didn't want to kill one of the things to get it. Randomly climbed a mountain and found this hunter living in a small shack. One of the three things she happened to be selling was a tusk. Righteous...

- The "Assassin's Blade" perk give 16x damage for sneak attacks with daggers. Game over, Skyrim. Those dragons better watch their backs... Get it?

- This guy in Whiterun followed me through three different stores, all the while talking up how well off he is. Incidentally, I've figured out how I'm going to join the Dark Brotherhood.

Buch:

- Killed my first dragon too! I used the clever, roguish tactic of missing with about ten arrows, then hacking at its face with an axe whilst taking all my potions. Not exactly Legolas.

- Decided to take on a battalion of Thalmor guards who were way, way too hard for me. Died hundreds of times, but I hate the Thalmor.

- Betrayed a gorgeous Redguard woman who approached me for help. Not sure if she was lying. I felt like such a bad guy I had to buy a new outfit with the reward money. :(

November 13th:

Buch:

- Got lost in the tutorial mission, spent ten minutes trying to climb things and get through walls while a dragon swooped overhead, trying to sustain tension and looking embarrassed for me.

- Killed a lot of zombie-things and (eventually) worked out the secret of the golden claw. My first dungeon, and a fittingly entertaining one. Really enjoyed cutting through cobwebs. Nice touch, Bethesda.

- Entered a small settlement, shot a chicken on the street, the townspeople rioted and killed me en mass. I guess that chicken was popular. Reminds me of the chickens in Zelda, but more hardcore!

- Seen the Northern Lights at the start of my second day. Beautiful, Bethesda.

- Fell down a waterfall by accident, but caught a salmon with my hands on the way down!

- Found a nirnroot. Bloody hell, not this again...

Knight:

- Got an unusual amount of enjoyment from riding that wagon in the intro. For a man supposedly showing up for his own funeral, I sure was giggling a lot.

- Approached one of the giants all curious-like and received a swift kick to the crotch for my troubles. That was my first death in the game.

- Did you know the guy who did the music for Skyrim also did Knights of the Old Republic? Does BioWare just hate talented musicians these days?

- Took my first trip to a merchant to unload some loot. Accidentally sold off all the armor I was wearing and the bastard sold it all back to me at quadruple the price. He told me to show some decency and put on some clothes once I backed out of the menu. Damn it.

- Retrieved this guy's family sword, and he returned the favor by teaching me, a rouge, a sword and shield technique. Thaaaaanks!

- KILLED MY FIRST DRAGON! And with my wimpy daggers, no less. He must have been an old one.

Today in Skyrim

We here at Disingenuous Assertions - all two of us - believe fervently that The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is, indeed, a video game. A game that must be played and its secrets unlocked for the betterment of all humanity. And if this is your first time here, we also don't care for Dragon Age 2.

We could do a review for Skyrim, but it wouldn't happen anytime soon. The game simply does not end, and that's not an exaggeration. Unlimited dragons, a massive world to explore, and randomly generated quests does not a timely review make, not when you factor in our schedules. But at this point, we're both in agreement that this is a wonderful game. I have my hang-ups, and I'm sure Buch does, too, but they don't really get in the way of what's turning out to be a great adventure through what is definitely the most beautiful region of the series to date.

To alleviate our need to both criticize and gush about this game without writing lengthy reviews, we've decided to make a journal of sorts, highlighting the bright spots of our respective adventures, as well as things we might not care for in the game. In other words, it'll pretty much be a review as it happens - or, basically, a Twitter feed but with Skyrim... and not on Twitter.

We're gonna do a brief intro for our characters so you know who you're dealing with, and then we'll be off to the races! Stay tuned!


EDIT BY BUCH: Anthony, I'm curious to know what your hang-ups are! I do have a few so far, but still I'm really loving this thing.

Also - 'unlimited dragons' is the best two-word phrase ever. xD

Another 6100 words

I haven't written much this year at all. I finished the first year of my creative writing degree in May, and then promptly fell into a 'writer's block' that lasted the entire summer.

After starting a story five or six times and not getting anywhere I eventually decided to fall back on my 100Words.com entries. This is kind of interesting, because when I first began writing on that site, it seemed like a great challenge and now (after writing four months' worth of entires) it seems a lot easier and less daunting than the short story I had planned.

If I've never explained it or advertisied it at you before, then 100Words.com is a 'social tasking' website where writers, bloggers and others commit to writing a piece of exactly a hundred words every day for a month, no breaks and no exceptions. In my experience it gets tricky around two thirds of the way through the month.

Anyway, last winter I wrote four 'batches', with a general mix of rushed poetry, story ideas from my notebook and little 'funny' entries, which I ended up relying on. After the last one I decided that I was out of ideas and that I ought to end there. But I guess I thought up some more, because...


Here's two more! My August batch is here and rambled a lot and has a very vague theme about dreaming and celebrity... and my September batch (just finished) has an even more vague theme about school and childhood.


So there you go - I've written something. I am still technically a writer. And I enjoyed myself with these batches, too, even after I realised I had nothing interesting to say about school. But here are two of the more random excerpts that turned out all right:


1.

Catharine stared and wept for hours before she finally made a shaking V-sign with her fingers and dropped it onto the skin just above Jane's eyes. She dragged the eyelids down with far too much force, jamming them shut and pressing slightly into the pupils, like holes in a pair of bowling balls meant for someone more slender. She had expected less give, some kind of stretching sensation.

'Are you still a--wake?' Catharine was going to say 'alive' but caught it just in time. She already knew the answer, but she didn't see any need to rush it.


2.

My first partner had a saying about situations like this. Said there were three kinds of cops, regardless of rank. First there were police officers: the ones who pray their life is never on the line.

Then there were asshole cops. Guys who dream of killing some perp, just so they can sleep without jerking off.

And third, you've got movie cops. These are the people who plan for everything, don't enjoy it, and don't let on until it happens. And suddenly they're amazing. Heroic. And they truly save the day. And ninety minutes later, they're dead.

Well let's see.


----

Thanks for reading. I've now written six months' worth (six seperate months, too) so I may return to this next year and end up with one batch for every calendar month. That'll be 36,500 words of flash fiction, so... maybe.

If you're a writer of any description, especially one who needs some practice or wants to get out of a rut - give 100 Words a go. I love it.

Happy October!

Knight's October-November Schedule

I couldn't be more excited for the end of October to roll around. It kinda reminds me of last October, when Fallout: New Vegas and Fable 3 were both released a week from each other. A shame that Fable 3 didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped, but New Vegas more than picked up the slack.

SO! We've got a bunch of games coming out. I've been steadily saving up for them for most of the year, but that doesn't mean they won't cause some financial troubles down the line. I've been a lot more careful about buying games recently, but it doesn't help that the games coming up are sequels to those few that I pretty much vowed upon Cavalry that I'd purchase.

--

October 25 - Battlefield 3

Ever since Battlefield 1942, these games have been a guilty pleasure of mine. It also helps that Bad Company 2 is one of the few competitive online multiplayer games that I'm actually decent at. All of the trailers for it look fantastic and it seems like they've put some work into making the campaign good for those of us who won't be skipping it altogether. I'm very excited for this, and it sounds like EA's going all out to try and lock down some of Activision's player base for themselves, so that can only mean good things... initially.

November 8 - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

I've been flip-flopping on this, so I might end up waiting on it and save myself a little money. But I love the Call of Duty series. The campaigns are usually pretty exciting, the multiplayer is addicting, and it helps that it's pretty much the one game that I can expect most of my friends to pick up. But this is only a couple weeks after Battlefield 3, and I'm not really planning on being bored with that game after only fourteen days. I've had Bad Company 2 for a year and I still play it.

But MW3, I'm still itching to see how the campaign will progress. For all its nonsense, MW2 had a pretty damn magnificent campaign, perfectly-paced and cinematic, and if MW3 can even so much as match its predecessor, then I'll be happy.

November 11 - The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

This is the one game I would forsake all others to play. Oblivion was pretty much a launch title for the Xbox 360, and I've found a reason to keep playing it ever since. The visuals look amazing, Skyrim itself looks fantastic and alive, and I've invested enough into the storyline that I'm interested to see how things have changed in Tamriel after the Septim bloodline was severed and Cyrodiil fell into decline. There's just so much I want to see, and I just... there's all that...

I WANT TO SLAY A DRAGON!

November 15 - Assassin's Creed: Revelations

I remember playing the first Assassin's Creed for the first time and not thinking very highly of it. I tend to think it was just the circumstances, but even so. Assassin's Creed II, though, had my full attention. It was fun and awe-inspiring romp through Renaissance-era Italy, not to mention an historically-accurate one. I thought Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood would be the series cash-in, but boy was I wrong on that one; it turned out even better than its predecessor by a wide margin.

AC: Revelations will be the third game in the series in three years, and it doesn't look like the quality has dropped at all. We'll see Ezio Auditore da Firenze traveling through Constantinople for what appears to be his last ride. There are few video game characters that I'd say are worthy of having three games all to themselves, but Ezio was definitely one of them. I'm glad they gave his story the focus it deserves. Heck, they've pretty much followed his life from birth and, with Brotherhood, continued to do so well into his 50s. Not many games can boast that.

--

On November 16th, I'll be taking out a loan. >.<

DLC Review/Retrospective - Fallout: New Vegas - "Lonesome Road"

"If they matter... if history matters... we'll see at the end of the road."

The opening moments of Fallout: New Vegas see you shot in the head and left buried in a shallow grave somewhere in the Mojave. Somehow still clinging to life, you're rescued and brought to the town of Goodsprings, where Doc Mitchell cares for you until you've made a full recovery. This is not the beginning of your story, the Courier's story, nor is it the end - but it was meant to be.

Enter Ulysses: the original Courier Six. The man who was supposed to deliver the Platinum Chip in the first place, but backed out of the job when he saw that you were next in line. Aware of what he'd be carrying, and knowing full well that the job was very likely a suicide mission, he stepped aside in the hopes that you would be killed before you even made delivery. Obviously, this didn't happen, much to Ulysses' disappointment.

But who is this other courier? Why does he want you dead?

Throughout Fallout: NV and it's subsequent add-ons, this story arc quietly builds in the background. A throw-away comment here, an oddly-named item there, until eventually it comes to a head. And it all begins with you sitting in a cave somewhere in the Big Empty, hearing Ulysses' voice on a holotape, the contempt he has for you and everything you've supposedly done. And in the closing seconds, he makes a solemn promise:

"At the Divide, he and I... there, we'll have an ending to things."

And he would be right.

Lonesome Road has you tracking down Ulysses through the Divide: a massive fissure that's formed in the middle of a once-thriving city of the Old World. Here, the wind is strong enough to tear the skin from your body, irradiated soldiers from both sides of a dead conflict wander in a haze of insanity, and mutated creatures lie in wait just below the surface. It's very unlikely that you'll find your happy place here. This is a depressing, emotional, and heart-breaking road you must travel, but I couldn't think of a better way for this game to come to an end.

This is your story. Your road. You're here because you want to be, and you can leave at anytime. But if you keep walking... you're gonna see some things.

The Divide ain't what it used to be.

The first thing you're going to notice about the Divide is, well, that it's pretty damn big. You begin on a cliff overlooking the whole of it, and it's just an amazing sight to see. I just sat there staring for a bit, and eventually said to myself, "Shit, I gotta walk through that." The Divide ain't pretty like Zion; it's a very intimidating piece of real estate. This is made even more interesting by how it was designed. Unlike the other three DLC hubs - The Sierra Madre, Zion, and The Big Empty - The Divide is actually one long road, winding through ruined cities, collapsed tunnels, across highways, and down into the giant fissure. You're still free to come and go and explore as you please (and there are still a ton of places to poke around), but since you're always moving forward through the landscape, you're never quite sure where you're going to end up next.

In this sense, Lonesome Road definitely has the most variety out of all the add-ons. Each of the locations in the Divide are unique from each other in some way. They're very competently-designed, and clearly show that Obsidian intended to go out with a bang, throwing as many eggs into that proverbial basket as they could. Buildings collapse into the fissure, earthquakes will knock things off of shelves, and debris constantly blocks your way. But wait! You can remove that debris by seeking out discarded warheads and setting them off with your trusty detonator. Time the explosions right, and you can take out some advancing enemies, too.

There are new armor sets, new items, new achievements, and new weapons, such as the "Red Pulse," which is pretty much an automatic rocket launcher. (It's as awesome as it sounds.) The only real downside is that since the Divide is an undesirable place to be, there isn't a surplus of NPCs to talk to. In fact, besides Ulysses, you'll only have your companion to talk to, but I'm not sure if I should spoil who that companion is. Not a big deal, but it was fun to discover who you'd be traveling with (and also figure out said companion's backstory.)

So what can you expect from the ending? Well, I can say that it was definitely a satisfying one, and will have vastly different outcomes depending on your decisions, a few of which were pretty tough for me to think through - and one of which can draw direct comparisons in terms of severity to the infamous Megaton decision from Fallout 3. So severe, in fact, that the Mojave Wasteland itself will be affected in some way: a first for FO DLCs.

And what of Ulysses? Again, I can't say much about him or his vendetta against the Courier. But rest assured, he has a very good reason to hate you, and it's not a reason that will sound completely out of the realm of possibility either. (Actually, I found myself thinking that I probably would've done the same thing in the Courier's shoes.) As Ulysses once said, "Couriers sometimes don't know the messages they bring."

Lonesome Road marks an end for the story of the Courier, a story that I've been following with much enthusiasm for the better part of a year. In that year, I've seen Obsidian create what I believe to be a masterpiece in the RPG genre: a game that not only aspired to have a great story, but great characters, locations, sidequests, world-building, and a level of immersion second to none. And then they decided to take things a step further, by creating a set of add-ons that could be collectively seen as a sequel in its own right.

Bethesda may have continued and updated the Fallout property, but Obsidian Entertainment refined it to the point of near-perfection, creating a product that trumps its predecessor in nearly every way. The franchise simply could not be in better hands, even if Bethesda decides to make the eventual sequel themselves. Obsidian know the lore, inside and out, they know what works, what doesn't, and how to tell stories within the universe that pack the hardest punch. I don't think I've played a game where a developer has had such a tight grip on such detailed lore and knew exactly how to wield it.

Fallout: New Vegas, along with all of its DLC - Dead Money, Honest Hearts, Old World Blues, and Lonesome Road - has been one of the best gaming experiences I've ever had. It will most definitely go down as one of the best games I've ever played, up there with Knights of the Old Republic and Dragon Age: Origins.

Obsidian (and Chris Avellone, especially) should be proud of themselves, and it's my hope that they're allowed another crack at the property. My dream would involve Obsidian, Fallout, and the Skyrim engine, but only time will tell.

This is an end for the Courier, but I hope it's not the end. Either way, all roads lead home, and for now, the Courier's right where he needs to be.

Game Review(s): Dead Island (Link)

I think I've written three different reviews for this game, and none of them ended up here. What a shame. But it was mostly on account of the circumstances. The owner of Obnoxi.us gave me the opportunity to rant on his website, and my Amazon review of the game is the "most helpful" over on that end (for now; people tend to slam critical reviews back into the depths). So... blaaaah. Don't think this'll happen too often, but if you'd like to read what I thought of the game, here are the two places to do so!

"Obnoxi.us" Review

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Amazon Review

What I'd Like To See In DA Three. (The rest of this post will not rhyme.)

In which I make silly geek-demands that I have no business making.

It was like passing through the tail-end of Willy Wonka's Boatride of Terror: the day when I realized that I'm completely over Dragon Age 2. It was a great fucking day, brought about by BioWare's admission that, hey, the game wasn't all it could've been, that they'd be taking fan feedback seriously and trying to appeal to fans of DA:O a little better. (If you read between the lines, you could also kinda see them explain that some of the changes they made to the franchise were done because they absolutely had to. Possibly even forced to. Possibly. Doesn't matter anyway.)

They've promised a bigger, better, and richer experience with the inevitable sequel, using a proposed map for the next game, which is about 4 or 5x the size of Ferelden, to drive this point home (and they apparently also highlighted the map for DA2, which was about the size of Rhode Island compared to the other two maps).

Yes, talk is cheap, especially after BioWare went on the offensive after the release of DA2, but I don't know; the way they've talked openly about their mistakes, acknowledging the specific little things they could have done differently or better, that really got to me. It was like the BioWare I had supported had finally resurfaced after two years of Facebook games and shitty DLC. Maybe they have, maybe they haven't. We'll see. But the important thing is that I'm hesitantly pulling myself back onto the bandwagon. Kudos to Mike Laidlaw for accomplishing that with his openness and professionalism; it really goes a long way... David...

Anyway, with the load of ideas that have been thrown around by both BioWare and the community, I've thought up a small list of things I'd like to see in the sequel. Some are negotiable, and the inclusion/exclusion of some will probably keep me away for good. Don't mean to sound high or mighty or insinuate that I am in possession of a high horse, but knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have bought Dragon Age 2 on release, so I'll be on the lookout to ensure that doesn't happen again.

1. Multi-Purpose Dungeons (And Dungeons In General)

BioWare have already stated this wouldn't happen again (and also stated the dungeon snafu was one of the things that may, or may not have been, forced upon them), and they've already proven they're not as open to this strategy by releasing DA2: Legacy minus anything resembling that accursed place. But just because they're trending toward variety doesn't mean they shouldn't up the quality of the dungeons while they're at it.

The dungeons were on my list of things that needed to be improved from Dragon Age: Origins. The Deep Roads were arguably the most frequented locations in the whole game - hell, they pop up in both of the books, too - but they weren't very pleasing to the eye. In fact, they were downright bland at times. Lots of claustrophobic tunnels with very little variety beyond which direction they led you.

Why can't these dungeons look a little more stunning at times? Why can't they bleed the lore that's been put behind them? Wouldn't it be great to turn a corner in The Deep Roads and walk right into some long-abandoned capital city of the dwarves? I don't know. Maybe even less dungeons and more unique locations would be a better solution. Whatever they decide, I'd like better visuals, more detail, and fewer places that feel like an honest-to-goodness maze, like Kirkwall.

Also, less Kirkwall.

2. Kirkwall

Seriously, anything resembling Kirkwall will drive me right up the wall and into Bethesda's arms. Look at Kirkwall like Eidos Montreal looked at Deus Ex: Invisible War, as everything that should not go into a sequel.

3. Armor

This has been brought up a lot on the DA Forums, and it's been interesting how much this has made me think. BioWare want to stick with their decision to give companions "iconic" looks, which is what Dragon Age 2 did with mixed results. They essentially cut the player's ability to customize their companions with the armor that could be found along the way. It didn't work because: 1) It meant that unless you found an upgrade for your character, almost all of the armor you looted in the game was useless. 2) Your companions, with the exception of Aveline, wore the same outfits for ten years. 3)

...Wait. What were we talking about? Dragons or some shit?

Oh, yeah. It meant that you had to live with BioWare's shamelessness for the remainder of the game. It was something I wasn't very fond of in Mass Effect 2 and its implementation in Dragon Age 2 didn't make a believer out of me.

But even though BioWare are opting to keep this system, they're going to expand upon it, granting each companion several sets of "iconic" armor, along with reintroducing the time-honored system of customizing your companions' stats. This means that while you can't alter their appearance, you can still equip them with armor and mess with their stats. Giving a companion boots with +2 stamina won't change their boots visually, but they'll still have that +2 stamina.

I went over this in my mind, trying to figure out why BioWare was just soldiering forth with this system with such abandon. But honestly, this system makes sense to me. I'm going back in my mind, reliving the 3d BioWare games that I've played (KotOR, Dragon Age: Origins, Mass Effect), and I can't really remember any armor sets that I particularly loved. I pretty much stuck with the Sith Master Robes in KotOR, the Spectre Armor in Mass Effect, and I wasn't really satisfied with any of the rogue armor in DA:O until I played through Awakening and found the Blackblade Armor.

The customization was always there, but the visuals for the various armor pieces were typically bland, or they were just copies of other armor sets with different colors added. There's a reason for this, though. (I think!) Let's focus on Dragon Age: Origins, and let's say you want to make a set of armor to be used in-game. First you have to design it, write the stats, and model it in-game, but then you have to re-model it to fit the body-types of elves, dwarves, and humans, because unless there are restrictions, all of the races can wear most of the armor. Then you have to remodel that set again to fit the body-types of female elves, dwarves, and humans. So, to make one set of armor in DA:O, you essentially have to make it six times over.

This probably explains why Sten just looked like a bigger human, so they wouldn't have to make each armor seven times.

Thinking of this, and then realizing, "Shit, they usually try and cram a lot of items into the game, too," and "How many other RPGs have customizable companions... or even companions, for that matter?" made me much more open to these "iconic" looks. It frees up the developers to focus on giving companions various looks that make sense within the context of the game, along with unique body-types, and also hopefully gives them more time to focus on the armor sets for the player character. Hopefully. All of this hinges on BioWare's commitment to this system. If it's one big cut corner like Dragon Age 2 was, then I see no redeeming factor there.

And I do hope this system is not applied to the player character. If I find some silly-looking boots that are clear upgrades, I want to have to live with that!

4. Set Character

I did not like Hawke in any way. I didn't like his prefab backstory, how he went on autopilot during the time jumps, and I didn't like his family or his rise to power. (Or that silly blood mark across his face that was never freaking explained!) I didn't like being forced to care about him either. Your sibling dies in the first five minutes: So fucking what? Mass Effect gave you more wiggle room in terms of character creation than DA2 ever did, and the Dragon Age series is the one out of the two that traces its roots back to D&D!

A set character worked for Mass Effect, it worked for Deus Ex: Human Revolution, it worked with The Witcher 2, but it doesn't work (and hasn't worked) with the Dragon Age series. Dragon Age: Origins was unique, in that by the time you got past Orzammar, you could have a character that was almost completely incomparable to a character of another playthrough. The origins made the game an interesting, entertaining, and completely replayable experience. I would hope that DA3 brings this back in some way. Keeping the voiced protagonist, which seems to be the preference of the majority (unfortunately), kinda ensures that a Dragon Age game with multiple playable races isn't very likely.

Even so, multiple origins for a single race wouldn't be out of the question, would it? I don't know; having all that freedom to define my characters the way I wanted was what made DA:O one of my all time favorite games. Losing that freedom in DA2 was heartbreaking. I would love to see it return in some form.

5. Party Banter + Me

Someone brought this up in the forums, and David Gaider said that they're playing with the idea. If so, I would definitely like it. What it seemed like they said concerned the party banter, and being able to somehow contribute to it. That would be a great freaking idea. And heck, it doesn't even have to include the player character; how about if Fenris and Varric say that they're gonna play cards at The Hanged Man that night, you can actually catch them there and drop in on their game. The party banter in DA2 always made me feel like the NPCs were playing a better game than I was.

6. Character Design

After a lot of thought, I think they were on the right track with the redesigns made in DA2, but I still think they need a little tweaking. The elves, specifically. They just weren't very consistent; some bordered on cartoony, others looked like Greys, and at least one looked like he missed the bus to Final Fantasy XIII. The other races worked out pretty well, though.

7. Thedas

This is the big one for me.

The world of Thedas has very rarely felt all that immersive. If it's not the near-barren world zones that ruin the feeling, it's all the load screens you have to pass through to get anywhere. If it's not the uninspired level design, it's the day/night toggle. The Dragon Age Scenario has just never been a place that made me stop and awe at the scenery, take in the sounds, or force me to explore everything. BioWare have gotten by in recent years by crafting stories and situations that kinda make you forget that you've already been down this brown tunnel or that Orzammar only has one path running through it.

BioWare has made some of the most best-selling RPGs of all time, yet it's a company like CDProjekt (with only one previous game to their name) that brings a populated world to life, with NPCs that have jobs, actually perform those jobs, and go home at night. There are conversations, day/night cycles, lush environments, and the lore is always making an appearance. Then you have Eidos Montreal, whose first game ever just happened to be Deus Ex: Human Revolution. My point being, I don't see why BioWare has never tried to go the distance when it comes to their RPGs, specifically with Dragon Age.

Mass Effect has definitely made the attempt. Places like the Citadel from ME1 and Omega from ME2 definitely had some work put into them. I would hope the DA team puts forth equal effort for the eventual Dragon Age 3.

--

So, I guess the main point of this article is: I'm dearly hoping that the DA team will actually, I don't know, try and make an RPG worthy of their reputation... and budget. You'd think that a company with six studios to their name would be able to create a product that aspires to rise above stuff like this.

9/11/01

My dad had been getting ready for work that morning. Circumstances had been such that my sister and I had been asleep in bunk beds situated right next to his. Personal circumstances, so I won't go too much into detail there. Not wanting to wake us up, he was always very quiet getting ready, and the TV was always turned down low so that we always slept through it. His routine was to watch The Today Show when he put on his shoes (and when he polished them, if it was necessary). Then he'd leave the room, grab a cup of coffee, and be off for the day.

He'd been watching the coverage for a little bit: the North Tower of the World Trade Center burning. At that point, it was some grim accident: mechanical or human error. He didn't stop getting ready; not out of insensitivity, but there was just no reason to dwell on it. It was terrible, yeah, but it's a fact of life that the world doesn't stop for terrible. There was no reason to suspect it would be anything more than what it was at that moment. The North Tower was burning, but it would surely be stopped. There would be casualties, but things would be under control before things got any further.

He tied his shoe and looked back up just in time to see United Airlines Flight 175 careening toward the South Tower. The video angle changed, and a fireball bloomed from somewhere outside the frame. At this point, you have most of waking America focused on this event, since the coverage of the damaged North Tower had begun earlier on, just before the top of the hour, and nearly every news operation on the air had been interrupted only minutes before the second plane. Many, many people saw this live. And at that point, it was pretty obvious to everyone that it wasn't technical or human error. This was intentional. We were being attacked by airliners carrying our own citizens.

Now, I can see my dad in my mind just sitting there trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. There are some things you just can't process very well so early in the morning, especially before your first cup of the day, so I can't imagine how many times he'd paused to try and think out what he should do. Apparently, he called our neighbors and a few members of our family, all of whom had already been watching as the second plane hit. Everyone was already awake to what had happened. It had been a nation-sized bucket of ice water over our collective heads.

Well, their heads. My sister and I slept. I can see my dad wondering what he should do with us, as well. He eventually decided he shouldn't worry us. He left for work and left us sleeping while, for lack of a better term, America freaked the fuck out about what was happening in New York. Things were at a fever pitch already. Thirty minutes later, American Airlines Flight 77 crashed into the Pentagon in Washington D.C. - three miles from The White House.

While we slept, things went absolutely nuts. Commercial airliners were falling out of the sky, filled with passengers, directly into what would be considered high-priority targets. Most of the government buildings in Washington D.C. were being evacuated, complete with videos of people making their way out of The White House. This is not something you want to see when you think your country might be on the verge of war: the seat of the Executive Branch of government being emptied.

There was also a small problem at the FAA (Federal Aviation Administration), which amounted to them reporting that they had been out of contact with several planes. Meaning that they had no real way of knowing how many planes had actually been hijacked or where they might be going. Major cities all over the United States went about evacuating what they deemed high-priority targets. The (formerly-named) Sears Tower in Chicago, Illinois. The Los Angeles and San Francisco International Airports. Disneyland and Disneyworld in Anaheim and Orlando respectively. The Mexican border was closed. Then there was the unprecedented ground stop of all airline traffic going in, out, and through United States airspace. The US was pretty much closed for business.

It was at about this time when my mom burst in and woke us up. My mom and dad had been divorced several months back, so she had pretty much climbed through a window to get us awake and dressed, since she was minus a key to get in. Just to give you an idea of how much misinformation was flying around that day: she'd heard The White House had been hit, as well.

"We're being attacked! Come on, get out of bed and get ready!" She was pretty frantic. Kind of all over the place in terms of what needed to be done vs. what should be done. She had to run back to her house get ready for work, since she had left in a considerable hurry, but she wanted us to eat something and, oh yeah, get ready for school. Like I said: all over the place, which was especially confusing because "all over the place" she is not. But we weren't in Washington D.C. or New York. We were in California. She was kinda sure that we should still get on with business as usual. She must have flip-flopped on the school thing a dozen times before she was out the door.

I turned on the TV as she was leaving, and saw the twin towers of the World Trade Center churning out smoke for the first time. It left an impression, and it was tough to comprehend at the time. I mean, until then, I hadn't really known what the World Trade Center was - or what a "terrorist attack" was for that matter. It's the stuff a 13-year-old probably/definitely wouldn't know, so I only knew as much as the newscasters reported. We were under attack. There were people trapped on the upper floors of the towers, many were jumping out of windows 100 stories up to escape the spreading flames, some holding hands with others as they fell. I got dressed quick and started watching TV out in the living room while I waited for my mom. The South Tower collapsed about then. Not too long after, the news reported United Airlines Flight 95 had crashed into a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania. The North Tower collapsed just before my mom arrived to take us to school.

On the way out, the news was reporting a white airliner flying through restricted airspace over Washington D.C. The guesses at the time were actually "proven" correct later on down the line. It was a doomsday plane: a military aircraft designed during the Cold War, stocked with Air Force and government personnel, used to ensure that the government would still be able to function in the event of a large scale attack against the United States - specifically a nuclear attack.

But before being dropped off at school, we usually picked up a friend of mine since his house was along the way. I knocked on the door and he was the one to answer. I could see his family gathered around the TV in the living room. I remember feeling kinda silly when I asked him if he was going to school. He smiled and looked at me like I'd gone dumb. "Dude, have you been watching the TV?"

That look must have been what had finally done my mom in. She called at him from the car, "I'm probably going to keep them home today, too!" I took that as my cue to get back in the car. My friend grinned a little at my very obvious situation and closed the door.

We got back on the road. All of the music stations had switched over to news broadcasts, most of the chatter involving the towers' collapse, the implications, etc. The way back to my mom's house crossed several major roads through the city. I don't know if it was all in the timing, but I didn't see a single car on any road, in any direction, the entire way there.

The rest of the day involved me sitting in front of the TV trying to sort out the blur of information. The attacks ended after the collapse of the South Tower, but it didn't really feel like that. Every single minute afterward was another in which something could happen. Another plane. A bomb. We didn't really know, but we quickly discovered that we had very good imaginations.

--

The US is a pretty big place, but we don't really treat it like one. We like to think that anomalies localized in one area can reoccur at any place, at any time. Looking back, I can almost kinda smile at how wacky things got during the rest of 2001. But really thinking about it helps me remember the palpable sense of fear that was literally everywhere I went. Nineteen hijackers crashed four planes on 9/11, but the way people talked, you could swear there was a terrorist just around every street corner in America.

Maybe they'd attack schools. Maybe they'd attack our school. Maybe they'd bomb a city. Maybe they'd bomb our city. They could be fucking anywhere! Even in a smallish town like mine, there was a popular rumor circulating that one of the hijackers had worked at the local post office before heading out to the east coast. This wasn't true, of course, but it was a testament to just how paranoid we became. In everyone's eyes, the next attack was aimed at them personally.

The paranoia just got worse as the days went on. The clean-up efforts in New York City painted a grim picture. When a firefighter's trapped, they can activate a device that sends out a shrill noise that helps rescue workers find them. During those first couple of days of news coverage at Ground Zero, that's all you could hear in the background. Dozens of them going off at once from somewhere in the rubble.

The anthrax attacks started no more than a week or two after 9/11, which involved a series of letters laced with deadly anthrax spores being mailed to several prominent newscasters and two US senators. Suddenly, not even the postal service was safe.

The paranoia continued to grow well into October. When Halloween came around, most parents in town were too afraid to let their kids go door to door, let alone eat candy that could be laced with deadly anthrax. My mom took my sister and I to the nearby church for Halloween, which was a first. The funny thing: it seemed like everyone else in the neighborhood had the same idea. The place was absolutely packed. Somehow, everyone got it in their head that taking their kids "trick or treating" (if wandering between candy booths can be considered such) would keep the deadly anthrax at bay. But the church did ease everyone's worries, I'll give them that.

Meanwhile, we had already invaded Afghanistan. There was very little opposition on our part.

I think we had all mentally written our government a blank check. Every time President Bush spoke, he was this unifying presence that found a way to replace our fear with something a little more productive: patriotism. It was an extreme feeling of "we're on our own." We were the target of this attack, so we have to take charge and ensure that it never happens again, subconsciously adding "whatever the cost." We wanted to do whatever it took to feel safe again, to feel like we did on September 10th: not scared of the mail, or candy, or flying, or Muslims.

What happened next is well-documented.