Knight's Game of the Year: Twenty-'leven Edition

Looking back, 2011 was a dang fine year for gaming. Looking at all of the well-respected franchises, almost all of them had another iteration released this year. You had a new Legend of Zelda, Elder Scrolls, Uncharted, Assassin's Creed, Battlefield, Call of Duty (nothing new there, though), Gears of War, Dead Space, Dragon Age, Deus Ex... the list goes on. Kinda.

Now, while I got to play my fair share of these games, there are many, many, many that I didn't play, given my inherent lack of a PS3. So if you don't see something that should be on the list, it's probably because I haven't played it. Or maybe I didn't like it! Gotta take that into account. But anyway, let's go!

RUNNERS-UP:

Terraria

My friends and I each bought this game for $2.50. We figured it would be a fun game to mess around with for a little bit, since we were in dire need of some multiplayer action at the time. From the looks of it, you wouldn't think you could get very much mileage out of it. After all, it's a side-scroller with visuals about on par with Super Mario World, and your primary goal is to simply dig and build when you can.

But there's something to be said for "simple," seeing how I've personally put about 38 hours into this game. Since the world is randomly generated and retains whatever changes are made (i.e. your tunnels, houses, signs, places where you experimented with dynamite, etc.), there's a personal feeling about it. Your world really feels like your world, and you're given a plethora of tools to ensure that it stays that way. Treasure chests are randomly placed throughout the world, containing random items of random rarity. (Random is the keyword here.) Just digging straight down feels like an adventure, and finding that illusive demonite ore deposit to craft that armor set you've been craving can be very, very rewarding.

If you want to progress through the game, Terraria makes you work for it. The best weapons and armor in the game are earned, not found - and the accessories are abnormally fun to use. My favorite being an antigravity potion that allows you to effectively give Newton the middle finger and send yourself hurdling into space. The game is just fun, and the definition of what a sandbox game should be. You can spend hours making a stairway into space, a house made of gold, or exploring the depths of your world looking for that next boss or that next rare item. It's your choice, really.

Battlefield 3

I never see myself as a competitive gamer until I boot up one of the Battlefield games, then I'm instantly that guy you don't want to hear over your headset. But I really do love the series. Going all the way back to Battlefield 1942, the gameplay is some of the most enjoyable of any multiplayer game I've played this side of the MMO scene. Battlefield 3 doesn't necessarily bring anything dramatically new to the table, but it more or less consolidated everything that was fun about the series into one package and wrapped it up with some of the best visuals I've ever seen in a game. (On the Xbox 360, at least.)

The campaign, while fun, was nothing to write home about. But the multiplayer is something I'll likely return to frequently until the next game is released. Any multiplayer game that allows you to take down other players with a repair tool, or to snipe them out of the cockpit of a helicopter, or get first place without killing anyone is a game that's all right by me.

It also lets you jump off a cliff and descend by parachute (or, in my case, by HUMVEE) into your opponents' base. Righteous.

Star Wars: The Old Republic

I had pretty much written BioWare off before I got my hands on the beta for this game. At the time, I saw no reason to support a company that, in my opinion, has kicked RPG progress in the wrong direction ever since the release of Mass Effect. But I didn't want to turn down a free chance to see how BW approached the universe/story surrounding one of my most favorite games of all time.

Basically... they did a pretty good job. It's like the BioWare that first got me so enthralled with the Star Wars Expanded Universe made the move down to Austin after KotOR and have been hard at work crafting a several sequels ever since. This game is essentially a multiplayer version of KotOR, which definitely brings with it some downsides, but also brings some crazy upsides, as well. The game employs a system akin to Dragon Age: Origins, so each class has its own unique storyline. The worlds are beautiful, the lore is weaved throughout every single quest, and the role-playing elements, while not as in-depth, are certainly a massive improvement over BioWare's usual formula.

The game is not perfect (it's still a WoW-like MMO at its core), and it's no substitute for what KotOR 3 might have been, but it comes damn close. If this game tipped its hat to the two KotOR games much more, its... eh... something, something hat analogy.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

The state of RPGs seemed to be in a sad state with DX:HR came along, a game reintroduced choice and consequence back into a genre that had seemingly forgotten what that meant. To me, choice is more than whether or not to kick a guy out a window or pushing him against the wall. Human Revolution totally gets that, throwing choice after choice at the player pretty much every chance that it gets. And some aren't even explicitly outlined.

Missions will often assign you one task, provide an alternative, imply another, and then leave yet another alternative open for you to discover on your own. Toss in a competent and intelligent story that plays at social commentary and just might get you questioning your own humanity, a cast of characters that are a joy to unravel, and visuals that will make you want to stop and stare - and you have a recipe for one of the best RPGs of the last few years. It's not perfect (those goddamn boss fights), but given this is the first game released by a brand new company, it's an amazing accomplishment.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

I wouldn't call anything Bethesda releases a video game; they're commitments, experience generators, life simulators. An entity that has successfully managed to make every little thing you do feel like an adventure. I can't tell you how many times just making the decision to turn left instead right resulted in some awe-inspiring discovery or some lengthy excursion into the unknown.

And that's what forms the core of the game. DX:HR focuses on choice, Fallout: New Vegas focuses on player agency, Skyrim focuses on adventure. It's crafted a beautiful, immersive, and dynamic world around this, constantly going out of its way to exploit that thrill of discovery that we all feel in one way or another. Skyrim asks you to blaze your own trail through this land it's provided you, and it's a testament to its scope that Buch and I have been playing quite a bit, and we hardly ever have identical experiences to share.

To quote a PC Gamer review:

"While everyone else is faffing around with how to control and restrict the player, Bethesda just put a fucking country in a box."

GAME OF THE YEAR:

Dead Space 2

Okay, gimme a sec to explain this one.

The first Dead Space will probably end up being one my all-time top ten favs. Why? I'm still kind of thinking it over. At the time, it was one of the most terrifying/immersive games I had played. It wasn't enough that it was scary; the developers had to push the envelope in some way. Their way of doing that was to create an entire sci-fi universe around the main character, complete with 500 years' worth of history, its own religion, economy, etc. And this was a game that took place almost entirely on one ship! I really got the feeling that there actually was an entire civilization out there beyond my tiny little part of the galaxy.

Not only that, but the story of the U.S.G. Ishimura was a terrifying one, exposed to the player almost entirely through text/voice logs and trails of blood. Terrifying, but good, and the atmosphere never lets up.

Dead Space 2 isn't as claustrophobic as its predecessor, but it's just as terrifying, creative, and immersive. It's also a little more personal, since the main character, Isaac Clarke, is actually given a personality and a voice this time around. His story was one that I very much wanted to see through to the end. His emotional struggle in the wake of past events (the first Dead Space) is one that you don't see too often in video games. It makes him seem, dare I say, human instead of your typical action hero.

It's just not too often you get a game where the main character is attempting to cope with what happened in the last game.

The DS universe is also expanded upon, resulting in a most excellent setting: the Sprawl, a massive space station/city built around the shard of one of Saturn's moons. DS2 isn't a free-roaming game, but it kinda feels like one. There are no loading screens unless you die, and the city is always visible outside. There's a sense of cohesiveness that only adds to the experience.

The game is basically what you'd get if Resident Evil and Mass Effect had a kid. An immersive, hard sci-fi experience that is constantly trying to provoke an emotional response out of you is my kind of game. You might laugh, you might cry (there are some genuine heartfelt moments here, however infrequent), but you'll probably just end up being terrified. It was an expertly-paced, emotional roller-coaster through a fantastic sci-fi setting, sporting one of the more characterized protagonists to come along in some time - so it gets game of the year from me.

Honorable Mentions:

-Fallout: New Vegas - Honest Hearts, Old World Blues, Lonesome Road

-The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings (Haven't finished it yet, or else it'd be on this list.)

-Bastion

-Dead Island

-Warhammer 40k: Space Marine

-Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

-L.A. Noire

Dishonorable/Obligatory Mention:

-Dragon Age 2

Happy New Year to everyone! Here's to another great year of gaming on the horizon. =D

February 7th - Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

March 6th - Mass Effect 3

March 27 - Dragon's Dogma

April 24 - Prototype 2

June 30 - Borderlands 2

TBA - Alan Wake's American Nightmare

TBA - Assassin's Creed 3

TBA - Bioshock: Infinite

TBA - Diablo III

TBA - GTA V

TBA - South Park: The Game

The Dragonfeed, part 2

Massive essay about how great Skyrim is deleted for reasons of pointlessness. If you'd like my opinions / reactions to Skyrim in general, then see this short video review summarising my feelings.

----

....... Anyway, Knight and I have been loving this game, and the seemingly unlimited list of cool experiences and brilliant little bits it offers. We even kept a list for the first couple of weeks.
Well, I'm still playing the same adventure with the same lonely elf, and I'm still getting all excited when I discover new stuff. Here are some that I missed-out on!

-----

December 8th - Buch's final day in Skyrim

That is to say, the end of my first run-through.

(I'm a bit wary of spoiling the main quest's plot here, so I'll just be very vague and if you've done the last few quests you'll know what I mean.)

- Did something amazing that I've always wanted to do with a dragon ever since I used to watch Knightmare on TV as a kid. Sadly it only happened for like, a second. Seems like they could have made a much bigger deal out of it. :(

- Enjoyed some really neat interactive archery training, in which the trainer had me actually firing at targets rather than just paying for skill points. Really nice touch. I wish every skill had one of these.

- Got bored and went around Whiterun at night shooting things with my bow, just trying to see what I could knock over. Highlights included hanging salmon, which flapped up and down with arrows in them, a cheese wheel which I then picked up by the arrow, and a plate with goblets on it, which I shot so neatly that the goblets landed right-side up, as if I'd whipped-out a tablecloth. I was drinking when I did this.

- TRAVELLED TO VALHALLA!

- In the final battle, found myself fighting a dragon as part of a team consisting of a barbarian, an old wizard, a warrior woman with a sword, and an elven archer (me).

Exactly like this! If we'd had a dwarf with us, it would have been even better.

- Finished the main quest, and with it my first playthrough.

I have to say, actually, I was quite disappointed with how it ended. There was plenty of first-rate visual spectacle, but not much else. It ended much quicker than I'd assumed, there was little plot significance or fanfare, and more than anything - it was really easy. I adored that final fight but we took the guy down in about two minutes. I mean, it was four versus one!
And afterwards, there was nothing. Unlike Oblivion, nobody seemed to care or have anything to say about the fact that I'd saved the world. It was very business-as-usual. Not even a quick voice-over sequence from Christopher Plummer. After all the build-up and cinematic quality to the main quest, this was a real surprise.

Shame.

In any case, Skyrim is bloody amazing and, I can honestly say, one of the best videogames in my collection. It's close to a masterpiece - it offers nothing new (basically it's elements of Oblivion, Morrowind and Fallout: New Vegas combined) but it's so, so honed. Aside from fixing the legion of bugs, trying something new or putting a better ending on there, I fail to see how this one could be improved. It's the Western RPG refined to near-perfection.
And on a personal note, Skyrim's setting and main story just happen to be exactly what I've been wanting to experience in a video RPG for years and years. (See Gauntlet picture above).
I finally got my dragons, solitude and Vikings. And they were incredible.

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin,
naal ok zin, los vahriin.

Sky guide you.

December 6th

Buch:

- Finally explored Falkreath a bit. Having become Thane of everywhere else, done loads of jobs for his people and killed a dragon inside the town, I went up to the Jarl and asked if I could help him out........ and he asked me to give him some of my mead.

- Recieved a magic ring which 'Randomly makes the wearer become a werewolf'. Oh, great.

- Told yet another Daedric Prince to bugger off. I'm getting a habit here of denying and generally being rude to Daedra.

- Returned to the place where I killed that guy... everyone is mad at me. Left in a hurry. :(

- Got married! There were four guests (three of my friends and that one guy who appears to be stalking her) and a single day in preparation. The ceremony lasted about three minutes. Weddings are cheap in Skyrim! But at least I got the brilliant dialogue choice between 'I do' and 'Stop the wedding! I can't go through with this!'

- Got a new house and went around decorating it with enchanted swords and Nirnroot and stuff. Nice feeling.

- Shot a vampire in the neck while she was sleeping. NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

December 3rd-5th

Buch:

- I've been going through the final act of the main quest. Today I sat at the super-friends council at High Hrothgar. Made Ellenwen (of the Thalmor) look pretty silly and thoroughly enjoyed being the only universally-popular guy (despite being the only non-human) at the table, thus recieving the big piece of chicken. Made some tough decisions, generally tried to favour neither the Stormcloaks or Empire. I think the Empire are weak and too much under the Altmers' thumb, but have good intentions. Ulfric is smart, loyal and has Talos on his side... but I think he'd just replace the Thalmor with his own Nordic thugs. If you ask me, Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun ought to be High King. He's the only character in the whole place who I trust an inch and seems to have an ounce of wisdom about him.

- Also killed about a hundred dragons. Season Unending indeed.

- Seem to have pissed off the Blades now - after spending so much time building them up I feel rather sad about that. I feel like Inspector Gadget if Penny and Brain ran away from home.

- Been spending my time with 'Darth' Mjoll the Lioness, who is my new sidekick and substitute-Blades.

- Bizarrely, I find myself forging alliances with Maven Blackbriar and killing drug-dealers to win her favour. Again I love how this game makes you feel so uneasy and grey, no matter what choices you make. There are no happily-ever-afters in Skyrim, but there are adventures, and thought-provoking moments.

- Got engaged to Mjoll! In the middle of a Dwemer dungeon, which was more romantic than it sounds. I could hear that story about her dad's hunting expeditions a hundred (more) times, and now I probably will. I wonder what the marriage system will be like in this game.... presumably identical to the rather weak one in Fable... but hey! Why not. So far Mjoll is one of the few characters I genuinely respect and am yet to alienate or fight (Jarl Balgruuf doesn't seem to be picking up 'the signs', so.)

November 28th - December 2nd

Buch:

- Met and conversed with a dragon.

- Gone back in time and gone 'Whoooah' at the background of what I saw. I was barely paying attention to the actual dialogue because there were tons of dragons flying around behind it. I love the way this game (unlike Oblivion or even most of Dragon Age) goes for spectacle -- I think that sense of 'Holy crap look at all those dragons and this enourmous white chasm!' is a big part of the fantasy story experience.

- Learned a 'shout' called 'Marked for Death'. Damn, I wish all my shouts were named after Stephen Segal movies! 'On Deadly Ground'? 'Under Siege'? 'Exit Wounds'? 'Hard to Kill'? The possibilities are enormous, here! What a missed opportunity.

- Got myself a house, in Whiterun. It is full of bugs. The bookshelf doesn't work. Still though, it's nice to think of myself as a citizen.

- Played a game of 'hide and seek' with a little girl, in the stone maze-like city of Markarth. And I actually had fun playing it, too. I lost.

- Saw that damn Headless Horseman again! Once again he would not stop to explain what the hell he's doing in Skyrim.

- Put on an Amulet of Mara (for a quest) and was surprised that three large, burly men (and one large, burly woman) asked me to marry them. I... huh? I was... kind of hoping for pretty young bards to chat me up, rather than an Argonian blacksmith. But thanks.

- Got myself arrested and escaped from the 'unescapable' jail........ at a serious cost - murdering an innocent man. Later I suddenly realised I could have turned-away the guy who told me to do it and escaped alone, so my 'greater good' turned out to be sheer foolishness and cowardice. Felt terrible. Now this is role-playing.

- Made Mehrunes Dagon look like a punk! An absolute punk. And then, to rub it in, got into his base and killed his dudes. I may be a murderer, but damn it -- I made Mehrunes Dagon look like a right tart.

- Got morally caught between the Blades and the Greybeards. I love the way the sense of heroism for the Dragonborn is muddled and always comes across as unsure, empty and foreboding. Not sure what to do here. Don't want to end up with more innocent blood on my hands.

- Discovered this. God-damn. God-damn. Yes.

- Met up with an old friend (besides Ma'iq) from Cyrodiil. Finally stopped collecting Nirnroots. Let them grow.

- Stood naked outside Mehrunes Dagon's shrine and shouted 'Marked for Death' at him while jumping up and down. I hope he's not Out for Justice.

Pictured: My character.

The Dragon Feed [Updated: 11/24/11]

For an introduction to what we're doing here, check this out!

~~~Character Introductions~~~

Knight: Like I did with Oblivion, I chose the male dark elf route with the intention of eventually joining the Dark Brotherhood. I tried to make him look as young as possible, but they all seemed to have this grizzled look about them. Also, I gave him a beard, so he kinda looks like a mix between a Grey and Tom Hanks from Cast Away.

In terms of his backstory, I've been operating under the assumption that he's a descendant of my last dark elf from Oblivion, so he has a political leaning toward the Empire, but not to a fault. The opening events of the game definitely pushed him closer to the center of the aisle than he would've been otherwise. He's not gung-ho about killing at random, so I have no idea how I'm going to get him into the Dark Brotherhood like I'd originally planned. He's not all that thrilled about this Dragonborn business either, but he's seen the destruction an out-of-control dragon can cause, and is willing to at least go that extra step to see if he can help in some small part.

He's also not all that fond of spiders.

For now, he's dual-wielding daggers that he partially forged himself, and frequently tries in vain to kill large beasts. He has died many, many times, and it's my opinion that his powers as a Dragonborn pale in comparison to his ability to resurrect himself at a previous point in time.

--

Buch: My character is actualy pretty similar: grizzled and bearded and a (wood) elf rogue! He has a scar, dirt on his face (why is that an option?), a bunch of muscles and a flat nose, as if it got punched too many times. The idea was to make an elf who would pass for a Nord at a glance, so that he would suit Skyrim better as its saviour but still seem alien.

I don't have much of a backstory yet, but I have it in my head that he's a self-hating elf with a very shady past, who has now fled Dominion-occupied Valenwood and Cyrodiil for a more lonely, human land. He has no particular leaning toward either Ulric or the Legion -- and neither do I, honestly. But both he and I constantly find ourselves accidentally supporting one side and feeling really bad about the repercussions. We'll see how this plays out. But he does enjoy fighting dragons. But not wolves. He is fracking sick of wolves.

~~~Skyrim Status Updates~~~

November 24th:

Buch:

- I'm concerned about spoiling the main plot, but I recruited J'zargo and Lydia - the ultimate team, surely - into Delphine's secret club. Seriously though, they both kick ass on the field. I figure now I should get either a tank or some kind of archer as the third member! In a oerfect world, a dwarf. Then we'd have a fighter, a wizard and a dwarf. Ahhh. Perfect Gauntlet Team.

- Killed about a thousand dragons now. It's starting to get old. I can't believe I'm criticising this game, but maybe a few less dragons? Everywhere I go I find one. J'zargo has now helped me kill two. Even he is sick of them.

- I'm so engrossed and enchanted by this world, that today I found myself dragging the body of a tortured man out of the chamber and into a respectful position by the cave door -- just so that whoever goes to pick the body up for burial doesn't have to see what happened to him. None of these people really exist. I just couldn't leave him there in a bloodied chair.

Knight:

- Joined the Daaaaaark Brotherhood! Just like in Oblivion, the quality of the writing suddenly skyrockets the second you enter their sanctuary.

- Killed a blood dragon like it was a regular dragon! Getting a lot of mileage out of these daggers!

-Okay. So, one of the perks of the Dark Brotherhood outfit is that it doubles the damage of sneak attacks. With Assassin's Blade already in place, I do 30x damage when I do sneak attacks now. GG, Skyrim, GG.

November 23rd:

Buch:

- Infiltrated the Thalmor Embassay and thought maybe it would help if I stole a uniform from one of the few guards I killed. I saved, thinking, 'This will never work - the game isn't that adaptive... and besides, I'm a wood-elf, not a high-elf: I'll look too short, even with the hood up. Might as well give it a try...'
The next guard I saw asked me to come closer, and when I changed direction to avoid him I heard him mutter, "Must be the new arrival. He seems a bit short." Awesome, Skyrim. Just awesome.

- Found an Orcish hunter wandering around, who yelled, 'WE HAVE BEEN HUNTING' at me. I asked him what he had for sale. "MEAT. FROM FRESH KILLS!" Looked in his inventory and found a single pheasant breast. Well done, mate. I bet it put up a hell of a fight.

- Was walking down the road with Delphine and THE FUCKING HEADLESS HORSEMAN comes riding past. No joke. The headless. Horseman. I clicked on him. You know what the description said? 'Headless Horseman'. What the hell was that, Skyrim?!

November 22nd:

Buch:

- Actually finished the Mages' College questline. It's pretty short, but I liked it a lot. Also learned some great spells.

- Whilst at the college, killed a dragon in the courtyard after rounding up my fellow apprentices to help me. Harry Potter joke!

- Contracted something called bone-break fever. Laughed my head off. xD

Knight:

- EMPEROR! PELAGIUS! THE THIRD!

- Decided I was gonna walk to Riften to buy a wedding necklace (Necklace of Mara, methinks). Discovered a small town on the way, cleared out some spiders for 'em (*shiver*), and killed a bunch of bandits in a nearby fort. Two hours later, I had hardly progressed at all, according to the map.

- Went to marry Ysolda and the event glitched twice. Guess I'm a single Dovahkiin for now.

November 21st:

Buch: I've not been updating so here are a few for the last few days!

- Explored Windhelm some more and solved the murder. A few bugs on that quest. I really am conflicted about Ulfric now - hate him and admire him at the same time. But I love the way the character is written and played. This kind of complexity in characters and plot is a real step forward for Bethesda, if you ask me.

- Joined the Mages' College (I've abandoned the Companions - they are idiots), got some training and learned a few destruction spells. So now I major in archery, one-handed and spells. I am the ultimate RPG hero!

- Got a new, darker-coloured, hood. This is a big deal for me.

- Explored an underwater shipwreck at the edge of the map whilst my favourite background music played and a spell made my vision all green - at night, as the Northern Lights were starting up. I can't tell you how good that felt.

- Bought a horse. Found it a bit awkward to use, since the roads are so thin and meandering, and don't appear on the in-game map.

- Lost the horse almost immediately. I guess it died when I was exploring? A bit like that bit in The Neverending Story, except that I was like 'eh'.

- Read a book about the non-existence of Talos. The title - The Talos Mistake. Brilliant little dig at / reference to my beloved Dawkins book. :D

November 20th:

Knight:

- I've discovered there's no point in even attempting to go mine your own ore unless you're training smelting. Warmaiden's has pretty much every ore under the sun for sale for the lazy miner.

- Completed a quest for a statue, and she pulled me up into the sky to talk to me about my next task. When some kind of deity yanks you off the ground and holds you so far up there that it would take a few long moments to even hit High Hrothgar on the way down... you don't refuse.

- Still wondering whom I should marry. Ysolda has job security, since she might be buying that inn pretty soon. Lydia, however, has no job security, since she'll be fighting dragons with me. These are the tough choices Dovahkiin make on the daily.

- Finally got two elven daggers to match my elven armor. I look like an idiot, but the health bonus is to die for - or not to die for. There's a joke there...

November 18th:

Knight:

- I was making my way back to the Riverside Shack, a little place that I've claimed as my home away from home, when there came a loud roar that, at first, I mistook for the wind. Continuing on, a mist fell upon the forest. The roar came again, louder this time. I drew my daggers, expecting the worst, and scanned my surroundings in a panic. Just beyond the treeline, a massive shadow swooped down and then disappeared back into the mist. I started running, dodging trees and sliding down cliffs, just as fast as my feet could take me.

Another terrible roar. It seemed right there next to me that time. I waded through a hot spring and hopped over a sulfur-encrusted fissure. With the sound of the river in my ears, I looked over my shoulder just in time to see something emerge from the mistBLAGHSDFJIOJFS! Blood Dragon.

Buch: I really thought you were going to say a bear. xD

November 17th:

Buch:

- Went adventuring with Lydia the housecarl and outfitted her with all-new weapons and armour. Killed monsters, hunted vampires, spoke to a dog with a silly East Coast accent. Must go adventuring with Lydia again some time. xD

- Met the hidden Blade and returned to High Hrothgar to finish my training with the Greybeards. I've never felt so much like Luke Skywalker. I even took off my armour and wore a tattered brown shirt for the occasion - such is the power of this game over my emotions. Stood at the top of the tower and gave my first complete Shout. 'Reluctant hero act' indeed! Beware, beware, the Dragonborn comes. :D

- Finally travelled East and met Ulfric Stormcloak. My heart actually sank when I found out he wasn't the honour-bound idealist I had imagined and (kind of) hoped for. Brilliant speaker though - even at this moment he made me think twice.

November 16th:

Knight:

- Tried to enroll in the Bards College at Solitude. The headmaster-or-whatever said that before I would be accepted, I had to take a perilous journey across the plains of Skyrim and find a place long forgotten called Dead Man's Respite. There, deep within that dark and deathly dungeon, I would find a tome of great importance to the bards. When I returned alive with that tome then, and only then, would I be allowed into the college... Luckily! I had already been to that dungeon.

- I'm a bard now.

- In a panic, I Shouted a sabertooth cat off of a cliff. It did a stiff 180 degree spin and disappeared over the edge. I've killed my share of dragons, but that was the first time in the game I've felt truly badass.

- Climbed the Seven Thousand Steps and met that silly frost troll. Died three or four times before I remembered Assassin's Blade. Took some stupid path up the side of the mountain, dropped down a cliff and landed directly behind the troll. Killed him in one shot. Neeeeeeiccee!

- Discovered the site of an ambush. A note revealed that the two victims (a Redguard and Nord) lying dead in the road were husband and wife - married for twenty years and deeply in love. I dragged them to the side of the road, arranged them in a respectful position next to each other, and set off to find their killers.

Buch:

- Refused a creepy and out-of-nowhere invitation to join Team Jacob and go murder people for no particular reason. Walked away slowly.

- Yo dawg, we heard you like dragons, so we sent the dragonborn and the housecarl from Dragon's Reach to fight a dragon in Dragons Bridge, right next to the dragon bridge.

November 15th:

Buch:

- Took a carriage to see Solitude for the first time. Got out, looked around and saw the city. It literally took my breath away.

- Climbed up the 'Seven Thousand Steps'.

- Joined the 'Companions'. I can't take it seriously because I keep thinking about 'Firefly'. Whoring, is what it means to be a Companion. Whoring is what it is.

November 14th:

Knight:

- This woman in Whiterun was pretty insistent that I get her a mammoth's tusk, but I really didn't want to kill one of the things to get it. Randomly climbed a mountain and found this hunter living in a small shack. One of the three things she happened to be selling was a tusk. Righteous...

- The "Assassin's Blade" perk give 16x damage for sneak attacks with daggers. Game over, Skyrim. Those dragons better watch their backs... Get it?

- This guy in Whiterun followed me through three different stores, all the while talking up how well off he is. Incidentally, I've figured out how I'm going to join the Dark Brotherhood.

Buch:

- Killed my first dragon too! I used the clever, roguish tactic of missing with about ten arrows, then hacking at its face with an axe whilst taking all my potions. Not exactly Legolas.

- Decided to take on a battalion of Thalmor guards who were way, way too hard for me. Died hundreds of times, but I hate the Thalmor.

- Betrayed a gorgeous Redguard woman who approached me for help. Not sure if she was lying. I felt like such a bad guy I had to buy a new outfit with the reward money. :(

November 13th:

Buch:

- Got lost in the tutorial mission, spent ten minutes trying to climb things and get through walls while a dragon swooped overhead, trying to sustain tension and looking embarrassed for me.

- Killed a lot of zombie-things and (eventually) worked out the secret of the golden claw. My first dungeon, and a fittingly entertaining one. Really enjoyed cutting through cobwebs. Nice touch, Bethesda.

- Entered a small settlement, shot a chicken on the street, the townspeople rioted and killed me en mass. I guess that chicken was popular. Reminds me of the chickens in Zelda, but more hardcore!

- Seen the Northern Lights at the start of my second day. Beautiful, Bethesda.

- Fell down a waterfall by accident, but caught a salmon with my hands on the way down!

- Found a nirnroot. Bloody hell, not this again...

Knight:

- Got an unusual amount of enjoyment from riding that wagon in the intro. For a man supposedly showing up for his own funeral, I sure was giggling a lot.

- Approached one of the giants all curious-like and received a swift kick to the crotch for my troubles. That was my first death in the game.

- Did you know the guy who did the music for Skyrim also did Knights of the Old Republic? Does BioWare just hate talented musicians these days?

- Took my first trip to a merchant to unload some loot. Accidentally sold off all the armor I was wearing and the bastard sold it all back to me at quadruple the price. He told me to show some decency and put on some clothes once I backed out of the menu. Damn it.

- Retrieved this guy's family sword, and he returned the favor by teaching me, a rouge, a sword and shield technique. Thaaaaanks!

- KILLED MY FIRST DRAGON! And with my wimpy daggers, no less. He must have been an old one.

Today in Skyrim

We here at Disingenuous Assertions - all two of us - believe fervently that The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim is, indeed, a video game. A game that must be played and its secrets unlocked for the betterment of all humanity. And if this is your first time here, we also don't care for Dragon Age 2.

We could do a review for Skyrim, but it wouldn't happen anytime soon. The game simply does not end, and that's not an exaggeration. Unlimited dragons, a massive world to explore, and randomly generated quests does not a timely review make, not when you factor in our schedules. But at this point, we're both in agreement that this is a wonderful game. I have my hang-ups, and I'm sure Buch does, too, but they don't really get in the way of what's turning out to be a great adventure through what is definitely the most beautiful region of the series to date.

To alleviate our need to both criticize and gush about this game without writing lengthy reviews, we've decided to make a journal of sorts, highlighting the bright spots of our respective adventures, as well as things we might not care for in the game. In other words, it'll pretty much be a review as it happens - or, basically, a Twitter feed but with Skyrim... and not on Twitter.

We're gonna do a brief intro for our characters so you know who you're dealing with, and then we'll be off to the races! Stay tuned!


EDIT BY BUCH: Anthony, I'm curious to know what your hang-ups are! I do have a few so far, but still I'm really loving this thing.

Also - 'unlimited dragons' is the best two-word phrase ever. xD

Let's Talk About How Saturday's Announcements Were Geek-Prophecy

The VGAs. They're pretty lame. Even if they do give the awards to the deserving, whatever legitimacy it has is lost beneath the advertising and flashing lights and how it seems like 3/4ths of the people who appear at the awards don't really know what video games are. But, people do tune in, which gives some developers reason enough to showcase what they're working on. In this case, two of the greatest RPG developers of all time, BioWare and Bethesda, chose the VGAs as their moment to step out and show off their wares.

And it was pretty awesome.

MASS EFFECT 3

Good golly, that was a nice looking trailer, and I honestly hadn't been expecting the last game to take place on Earth at all. It's very clear that BioWare's very proud of themselves, as well as this game, since they've been teasing this one minute trailer for a little over a month now with a bunch of silly barcodes. Still! I can't complain.

I'm very excited to see how it all comes to an end. I've laid down some harsh criticism of the games since I first got my hands on them, but they are some quality experiences. Maybe they're not technically RPGs, maybe the choices you make don't amount to much else than brief references later on...and maybe there wasn't much of a story in ME2...and maybe you spent the entire game working out family issues...and maybe...

Anyway, I do love those games. Shepard's story is one worth following, and I'm very glad that I've followed it for as long as I have. Again, very excited for this one.

THE ELDER SCROLLS V: SKYRIM

I must admit, I never got a chance to play Morrowind, so my heart will always belong to Oblivion, the game that let you level up your aerobics by jumping around. I played that game for hours unending, exploring every bit of the world I was powerful enough to explore, breaking into as many homes as I could, selling as many stolen goods as I could. That game is still one of my favorites, so I am obviously very excited to see Skyrim is well on its way.

It'll be sporting a brand new engine in a brand new region. I don't know much about the provinces outside of Cyrodiil, but I can imagine it'll epic.

I keep wondering what they might change, what they might keep. RPGs seem destined to be streamlined into movie format, but I wonder if Bethesda will fall prey to this. I hear from the Morrowind faithful that things were lost in translation between it and Oblivion's release, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what they could have streamlined. Oblivion seemed like the "everything and the kitchen sink" kind of game.

The only thing I hope they change is the combat and implement the conversation system from Fallout 3 and New Vegas. Can't think of much else, though.

What sucks is that both ME3 and Skyrim have their release dates set for the end of next year which, according to math, means that we'll be waiting nearly an entire year to get our hands on these RPGs. Fire and damnation!