Christopher Hitchens (1949-2011)

In memory of Christopher Hitchens, political essayist, radical and antitheist.

The Dragonfeed, part 2

Massive essay about how great Skyrim is deleted for reasons of pointlessness. If you'd like my opinions / reactions to Skyrim in general, then see this short video review summarising my feelings.

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....... Anyway, Knight and I have been loving this game, and the seemingly unlimited list of cool experiences and brilliant little bits it offers. We even kept a list for the first couple of weeks.
Well, I'm still playing the same adventure with the same lonely elf, and I'm still getting all excited when I discover new stuff. Here are some that I missed-out on!

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December 8th - Buch's final day in Skyrim

That is to say, the end of my first run-through.

(I'm a bit wary of spoiling the main quest's plot here, so I'll just be very vague and if you've done the last few quests you'll know what I mean.)

- Did something amazing that I've always wanted to do with a dragon ever since I used to watch Knightmare on TV as a kid. Sadly it only happened for like, a second. Seems like they could have made a much bigger deal out of it. :(

- Enjoyed some really neat interactive archery training, in which the trainer had me actually firing at targets rather than just paying for skill points. Really nice touch. I wish every skill had one of these.

- Got bored and went around Whiterun at night shooting things with my bow, just trying to see what I could knock over. Highlights included hanging salmon, which flapped up and down with arrows in them, a cheese wheel which I then picked up by the arrow, and a plate with goblets on it, which I shot so neatly that the goblets landed right-side up, as if I'd whipped-out a tablecloth. I was drinking when I did this.

- TRAVELLED TO VALHALLA!

- In the final battle, found myself fighting a dragon as part of a team consisting of a barbarian, an old wizard, a warrior woman with a sword, and an elven archer (me).

Exactly like this! If we'd had a dwarf with us, it would have been even better.

- Finished the main quest, and with it my first playthrough.

I have to say, actually, I was quite disappointed with how it ended. There was plenty of first-rate visual spectacle, but not much else. It ended much quicker than I'd assumed, there was little plot significance or fanfare, and more than anything - it was really easy. I adored that final fight but we took the guy down in about two minutes. I mean, it was four versus one!
And afterwards, there was nothing. Unlike Oblivion, nobody seemed to care or have anything to say about the fact that I'd saved the world. It was very business-as-usual. Not even a quick voice-over sequence from Christopher Plummer. After all the build-up and cinematic quality to the main quest, this was a real surprise.

Shame.

In any case, Skyrim is bloody amazing and, I can honestly say, one of the best videogames in my collection. It's close to a masterpiece - it offers nothing new (basically it's elements of Oblivion, Morrowind and Fallout: New Vegas combined) but it's so, so honed. Aside from fixing the legion of bugs, trying something new or putting a better ending on there, I fail to see how this one could be improved. It's the Western RPG refined to near-perfection.
And on a personal note, Skyrim's setting and main story just happen to be exactly what I've been wanting to experience in a video RPG for years and years. (See Gauntlet picture above).
I finally got my dragons, solitude and Vikings. And they were incredible.

Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin,
naal ok zin, los vahriin.

Sky guide you.

December 6th

Buch:

- Finally explored Falkreath a bit. Having become Thane of everywhere else, done loads of jobs for his people and killed a dragon inside the town, I went up to the Jarl and asked if I could help him out........ and he asked me to give him some of my mead.

- Recieved a magic ring which 'Randomly makes the wearer become a werewolf'. Oh, great.

- Told yet another Daedric Prince to bugger off. I'm getting a habit here of denying and generally being rude to Daedra.

- Returned to the place where I killed that guy... everyone is mad at me. Left in a hurry. :(

- Got married! There were four guests (three of my friends and that one guy who appears to be stalking her) and a single day in preparation. The ceremony lasted about three minutes. Weddings are cheap in Skyrim! But at least I got the brilliant dialogue choice between 'I do' and 'Stop the wedding! I can't go through with this!'

- Got a new house and went around decorating it with enchanted swords and Nirnroot and stuff. Nice feeling.

- Shot a vampire in the neck while she was sleeping. NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS.

December 3rd-5th

Buch:

- I've been going through the final act of the main quest. Today I sat at the super-friends council at High Hrothgar. Made Ellenwen (of the Thalmor) look pretty silly and thoroughly enjoyed being the only universally-popular guy (despite being the only non-human) at the table, thus recieving the big piece of chicken. Made some tough decisions, generally tried to favour neither the Stormcloaks or Empire. I think the Empire are weak and too much under the Altmers' thumb, but have good intentions. Ulfric is smart, loyal and has Talos on his side... but I think he'd just replace the Thalmor with his own Nordic thugs. If you ask me, Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun ought to be High King. He's the only character in the whole place who I trust an inch and seems to have an ounce of wisdom about him.

- Also killed about a hundred dragons. Season Unending indeed.

- Seem to have pissed off the Blades now - after spending so much time building them up I feel rather sad about that. I feel like Inspector Gadget if Penny and Brain ran away from home.

- Been spending my time with 'Darth' Mjoll the Lioness, who is my new sidekick and substitute-Blades.

- Bizarrely, I find myself forging alliances with Maven Blackbriar and killing drug-dealers to win her favour. Again I love how this game makes you feel so uneasy and grey, no matter what choices you make. There are no happily-ever-afters in Skyrim, but there are adventures, and thought-provoking moments.

- Got engaged to Mjoll! In the middle of a Dwemer dungeon, which was more romantic than it sounds. I could hear that story about her dad's hunting expeditions a hundred (more) times, and now I probably will. I wonder what the marriage system will be like in this game.... presumably identical to the rather weak one in Fable... but hey! Why not. So far Mjoll is one of the few characters I genuinely respect and am yet to alienate or fight (Jarl Balgruuf doesn't seem to be picking up 'the signs', so.)

November 28th - December 2nd

Buch:

- Met and conversed with a dragon.

- Gone back in time and gone 'Whoooah' at the background of what I saw. I was barely paying attention to the actual dialogue because there were tons of dragons flying around behind it. I love the way this game (unlike Oblivion or even most of Dragon Age) goes for spectacle -- I think that sense of 'Holy crap look at all those dragons and this enourmous white chasm!' is a big part of the fantasy story experience.

- Learned a 'shout' called 'Marked for Death'. Damn, I wish all my shouts were named after Stephen Segal movies! 'On Deadly Ground'? 'Under Siege'? 'Exit Wounds'? 'Hard to Kill'? The possibilities are enormous, here! What a missed opportunity.

- Got myself a house, in Whiterun. It is full of bugs. The bookshelf doesn't work. Still though, it's nice to think of myself as a citizen.

- Played a game of 'hide and seek' with a little girl, in the stone maze-like city of Markarth. And I actually had fun playing it, too. I lost.

- Saw that damn Headless Horseman again! Once again he would not stop to explain what the hell he's doing in Skyrim.

- Put on an Amulet of Mara (for a quest) and was surprised that three large, burly men (and one large, burly woman) asked me to marry them. I... huh? I was... kind of hoping for pretty young bards to chat me up, rather than an Argonian blacksmith. But thanks.

- Got myself arrested and escaped from the 'unescapable' jail........ at a serious cost - murdering an innocent man. Later I suddenly realised I could have turned-away the guy who told me to do it and escaped alone, so my 'greater good' turned out to be sheer foolishness and cowardice. Felt terrible. Now this is role-playing.

- Made Mehrunes Dagon look like a punk! An absolute punk. And then, to rub it in, got into his base and killed his dudes. I may be a murderer, but damn it -- I made Mehrunes Dagon look like a right tart.

- Got morally caught between the Blades and the Greybeards. I love the way the sense of heroism for the Dragonborn is muddled and always comes across as unsure, empty and foreboding. Not sure what to do here. Don't want to end up with more innocent blood on my hands.

- Discovered this. God-damn. God-damn. Yes.

- Met up with an old friend (besides Ma'iq) from Cyrodiil. Finally stopped collecting Nirnroots. Let them grow.

- Stood naked outside Mehrunes Dagon's shrine and shouted 'Marked for Death' at him while jumping up and down. I hope he's not Out for Justice.

Pictured: My character.

Book Review - Eaters of the Dead by Michael Crichton

I'm not sure why I started another Michael Crichton novel. Though the late author was obviously a very intelligent, very talented individual, The Andromeda Strain read like a training manual of some kind. Or a really stiff recap of an episode of 24. Though it was certainly waaaaay ahead of its time at one point, it reads like contemporary fiction that's way too fascinated by dated technology. Imagine the marvels of one day operating a computer with only a small group of three people!

Brilliant!

Anyway, Eaters of the Dead. I tried it out because it was of average length, it came with glowing recommendations from a friend of mine, and I vaguely remember liking the movie adaptation, The 13th Warrior. Plus, I can't help but check out a good viking yarn. But I've gotta say, this was a fantastic book. Not the best written book out there, but that's kind of the point, I guess; so in that sense, it manages to maintain a kind of illusion that makes the story all the more engaging. When you're finished, you might just put down the book feeling grateful you were born in this era. It's hard out there for a viking.

The main premise of this book is that it was not actually written by Michael Crichton, but that it's actually a journal of experiences taken down by a Muslim ambassador from Baghdad, Ahmad ibn Fadlan, concerning a journey to Volga Bulgaria that was never completed. At some point in his travels, Ahmad and his party encounter savage Northmen camped near the sea. After falling in with them overnight, and bearing witness to some of their more primal customs, he is forcibly conscripted into their band and taken to defend the lands of King Rothgar, somewhere in Scandinavia. Their reasoning behind this is that because their group numbers only twelve, such an undertaking would be a very unlucky thing to, since thirteen is considered an almost holy number to them. So, they take Ahmad, thus making him their thirteenth warrior.

Considering that this is the journal of a man in the 10th century who had only basic writing experience and had never left the desert in his life, his initial travels across the sea and into the unknown make for a very entertaining thing to read. The things he focuses on, specifically the water, all of the plants, and how he's the darkest person most of these vikings have ever met was interesting. These brief, very human observations are what put me in a state of mind that made accepting this as a real journal very easy.

There's also the fact that he can only really talk to one of the warriors, since all but one have no understanding of Ahmad's language. There are also little conflicts between himself and the other twelve, since he is a staunch Muslim and an educated man, while the others are polytheistic and live like they are going to die tomorrow, always tomorrow. Their little cultural duels were pretty hilarious, as Ahmad's insistence on bathing everyday is seen as completely weird, while the Northmen have no reservations about laying with a slavewoman only a few feet away for all to see.

After a long journey across the sea, across unknown lands, and then once more across some kinda secondary sea, the thirteen arrive at King Rothgar's nation and are granted a hero's welcome. Ahmad soon discovers that the reason for their being summoned across the face of the world was to do battle with strange "mist monsters" that they've taken to calling "wendol" - which is Scandinavian for "black mist" if I recall. These monsters come in the night, when the mist is thickest, and slaughter anyone they can get their hands on. They're also headhunters and cannibals, so they have that to contend with.

The rest of the book recounts Ahmad and the rest of the thirteen's battles with the wendol, and it really is just one unsettling encounter after another.

If you remember that this book is told through the eyes of a man who's never seen the world outside of the desert and is hanging around warriors whose sense of mysticism is deeply bred into them, then you'll find yourself constantly trying to interpret what Ahmad has written down. What does he mean when he sees a dragon in the distance? Leviathans in the waters of the ocean? A man with the head of a bear? For the most part, it's open to interpretation, but sometimes Crichton adds little annotations at the bottom of the page to clue the reader in on the manuscript's history, the various translations it's gone through, and how things may have been misinterpreted. For a story that's (for the most part) fiction, Crichton really goes out of the way to make sure that you actually learn some things about both Arab and viking cultures in the process.

And as I said, the book is for the most part fiction. Most of what you read in the beginning of the book is almost straight out of a real manuscript from a real ambassador on his way to Volga Bulgaria, while the rest is sort of a retelling of Beowulf with a much firmer foot in reality. (Much like the newer King Arthur film.) To that end, you're not really sure where the real manuscript begins and where Crichton's words begin, since it seems that among his many talents, he was also able to adapt his writing style to that of a 1oth century Muslim ambassador.

I really liked Eaters of the Dead, and it's probably my favorite Crichton book of the four that I've read so far - and of the two I actually remember in detail. It's not a terrifying book, but it's more than unsettling as it effortlessly conjures up an age when giving in to savage and primal instincts was a more common occurrence - and dying in glorious battle, with a slave tossed onto your pyre, was your greatest concern of all.