300 new entries to the Thrawn Trilogy

I've been studying his blog, Pallaeon. His weakness appears to be idiotic puns.

In the last few months, me and Knight have been reading Timothy Zahn's trilogy of classic mid-nineties Star Wars sequels - 'Heir to the Empire', 'Dark Force Rising' and 'The Last Command'.

They're absolutely fantastic, not least because of the cast of new characters Zahn introduced - many of whom, such as Mara Jade, have been with the ongoing series ever since he rejuvenated it with these books. The other great new character in this trilogy is the main villain - Grand Admiral Thrawn. In the long, sad history of the Star Wars 'Expanded Universe', this is the one character I am proud to name a 'Star Wars Villian'. The only one who's up there with Darth Vader and the Emperor and Peter Cushing. (Well him and Darth Revan.)

I don't think the actual titles of these books are very good. One could even say they are UNWORTHY of Grand Admiral Thrawn! And also I think the name 'Thrawn' sounds kind of funny - so for a while I've been trying to amuse Knightfall by constantly referring to them by made up names...

Here is a list of 50 better titles for the three individual books of the Thrawn trilogy. And there are so many, you could even get a few sequels out of them! Mr Zahn, you may use them if you wish. I haven't applied for a copyright on any of these.


UPDATE!

Thanks to dedicated support from fellow Thrawn-fans I am proud to announce some extra special Thrawn content!

Thanks to all the suggestions sugestions and my own tireless Thrawning, we now have over THREE HUNDRED bloody Thrawn titles!!

Considering I was hoping to come up with 50, this is really something! Three hundred?!?! Thank you VERY much to everyone who has contributed.

R.A.Eng-what? 's entries are the ones in Thrawn-blue.
Cali's are in Imperial Orange... or something. Orange. Oh crap, some of them are in yellow. I'm not editing them all again. Orange or yellow for Cali.
And Mr Glow is in green!
The contributions from others are in grey like mine, but have the authors' names afterwards in brackets.

1. Star Wars: Attack of Thrawn
2. Star Wars: Revenge of Thrawn
3. Star Wars: The Thrawn Menace
4. Grand Admiral Thrawn Wore Tennis Shoes
5. Thrawn's Cocktail
   
6. Thrawn To Be Wild
7. Thrawn In The USA
8. The Hand of Thrawn Book One: Hardcore Thrawn
   
9. The Thrawn Identity
10. TransThrawners: Revenge of the Thrawn
11. Bride of Thrawnkenstein
12. Thrawn of the Dead
13. Breaking Thrawn
14. Me So Thrawny
    
15. Thrawnton's Delicious Handmade Fudge
16. Children of the Thrawn
17. Thrawn Dog
18. Star Wars: Thrawn on the Cob
19. Return of Thrawn Green
20. Advent of Thrawn Michaels
21. Enter Thrawn Chaney Jr
22. Rip Thrawn
23. Introducing Harry Thrawnick Jr
24. And With a Special Guest Appearance as Lieutenant Worf, Michael Thrawn
25. Luke Skywalker Versus Deep-Vein Thrawnbosis
    
26. The DarksThrawn Chronicles
27. Thrawn To Kill
28. Thrawn To Life
    
29. Thrawn Together, Thrawn Apart
30. Thrawn Dusk Till Dawn
31. Every Rose Has Its Thrawn
    
32. Marathrawn Man
33. Thrawn Dusk Till THRAWN
34. Dude, Where's My Thrawn?
35. The Hand of Thrawn Book Two: Brains Over Thrawn
    
36. Thrawn Fishin'
    
37. Natalie Imbruglia's 'Thrawn'
38. Thrawn Versus The Volcano
    
39. The Nazis: A Thrawning From History
40. 'Round The Thrawn
41. The Last UniThrawn
42. The Stolen Thrawn
43. Thrawndi, Mardi, Mecredi
44. The Hand of Thrawn Book Three: Thrawnmower
45. The Thrawnmower Man
46. Crunchy King Thrawn
47. So Dark the Thrawn of Man
    
48. The Rise of Napoleon Thrawnaparte
49. Mongol: The Rise of Genghis Thrawn
    
50. Vince Thrawn's Wild West Comedy Show
51. Nightmare on Thrawn Street (by R.A.Eng-what?)
    
52. The Thrawnsporter
53. Ong-Bak the Thrawn Warrior
54. Legend of the Thrawn
55. The Thrawn With the Dragon Tattoo
56. Diary of a Wimpy Thrawn
57. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Thrawn
58. Tropic Thrawn
59. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Thrawn
60. ...And Justice for Thrawn
61. A Clockwork Thrawn
62. The Chronicles of Thrawn
63. Monty Python's Life of Thrawn
64. Indiana Thrawn and the Last Command
65. Merry Christmas, Grand Admiral Thrawn
66. Mister Thrawn Studies the Washington Post and Then Goes To Washington
67. Thrawning Has Broken
68. All My Thrawns
    
69. Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Thrawno)
70. Let The Right Thrawn In
71. On a Pale Thrawn (by R.A.Eng-what?)
    
72. Island of the Blue Thrawns
73. The Left Thrawn of Darkness
74. The Poisonwood Thrawn
75. Monty Pythrawn and the Holy Grail (that one is by far my favourite so far)
76. A Man Rides Thrawn
77. Queen of the Thrawned
78. The Queen's Thrawn" (hey it rhymes with "Pawn)
79. The Chronicles of Thrawnber
80. English Thrawn the Ages
81. Thrawning on the Right Side of the Brain
82. Thrawn the Looking Glass
83. Interesting Thrawns
84. The Mists of Thrawnalon (ouch. MZB fans are gonna flog me now)
85. Life Before Thrawn
86. The Handmaid's Thrawn
87. The Edible Thrawn
88. Castle Thrawn
89. Thrawnmistress!
90. Thrawn's Sun
91. Fear and Loathrawn in Las Vegas
92. The Curse of Thrawno
93. So Thrawn, and Thanks for All the Fish
94. The Thrawn Afternoon of Earth
95. Lord Thrawn's Bane
96. Thrawn Gnome
97. Thrawn of Those Days
98. How a Yawn, Mr. Thrawn (instead of "How now, brown cow?" Yeah, it's a bit of a stretch. Sorry. I am trying to rhyme where I can!)
99. The Thrawn Who Stole Christmas
100. THRAWN WITH THE WIND (Thank you Knightfall for the 100th entry!)
101. Aphex Thrawn
102. The Boy With the Thrawn in His Side
103. Evil Dead: Hail to the Thrawn
104. Thrawn Russia With Love
105. Thrawn Vision
106. I Am the Thrawn and Only
107. Delicious Chicken-Style Thrawn Pieces
108. Thrawn: Deadly Discs
109. Once Upon a Thrawn in a Galaxy Far, Far Away (by JKLinders)
110. Red Thrawn (by Mr Glow)
111. The Thrawnicles of Riddick (by Cali)
     
112. Thrawn, Baby, Thrawn
113. A Thrawn Apart
114. Black Snake Thrawn
115. Thrawn With a Blastwave
116. Thrawnlander
117. The Bride of Thrawn
118. Thrawn in Africa (this one is my second favourite suggestion)
119. The King of Thrawnmedy
120. Thrawn Jeremy
121. Thrawn Against the Machine (by R.A. Eng-what?)
     
122. In Thrawn the Out Door
123. The Chronicles of Thrawnia
124. Thrawning Pool
125. Thrawn of Time
126. Thrawn Among Strangers
127. Thrawn to the Wolves
128. Superthrawn Doomsday
129. Wheel-Thrawn Pottery
130. Thrawn Pillow
     
131. Thrawn With Dick and Jane
132. The Lion, the Witch and the Thrawndrobe
133. Mad Max Beyond Thrawnderdome
134. Santa Thrawn Conquers the Martians (by studying their art)
135. The Rise and Fall of Thrawn Free Taa
136. Hooked on Thrawnics
137. Thrawning Period
138. Sun Thrawning
139. Are You Dave Thrawnman?
140. Featuring Art Carney as Thrawndan
141. What is This, Some Kind of Thrawn Game?
142. When a Child is Thrawn
143. Good-night, Thrawn-boy
144. Thrawn of Godzilla
145. Thrawn, God of Thunder!
146. Thrawn Lake
147. Thrawn to Rook Five
148. Sir, Your ThrawnThrawn Will Freeze Before You Reach the First Marker!
     
149. Thrawn in Sixty Seconds
     
150. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Thrawn (by R.A.Eng-what?)
151. Thrawnic and Knuckles
152. Being Thrawn Malcovich
     
153. Doctor Thrawnson's Dictionary of the English Language
154. World of Thrawncraft
     
155. Thrawnny B. Goode
156. Thrawn Mama Off the Train (by Cali)
     
157. Thrawn Adams
158. Interview With the Thrawnpire
159. The Twilight Saga: New Thrawn
160. Pirahna 2: The Thrawning
161. Raiders of the lost Thrawn
162. The Maltese Thrawn
163. Warcraft: Thrawns and Humans
164. Dr Thrawn
165. Thrawnfinger
166. Thrawnderball (hell yes)
167. You Only Thrawn Twice
168. On Her Majesty's Secret Thrawn
169. Live and Let Thrawn
170. The Thrawn With the Golden Gun
171. The Thrawn With the Golden Thrawn!
     
172. The Thrawn Who Loved Me
173. Thrawnopussy
174. The Thrawning Daylights
175. Tomorrow Never Thrawns
176. Casino Thrawnayle
177. Doom II: Thrawn on Earth
     
178. The Thrawn Locker
179. The Great Thrawnsby
180. One Flew Over the Thrawn's Nest
181. The Thrawn Who Fell to Earth
182. Friday the Thrawnteenth
183. Mission Inthrawnable
184. Thrawnfellas
185. Thrawn in My Side
186. In Thrawn's Country
187. Thrawn's Hot Sister
188. Thrawnfire
189. Thrawn's Pizza
190. Runaway Thrawn
191. My Left Thrawn
192. Catcher in the Thrawn
193. Rocket Thrawn
194. Thrawn on the Fourth of July
195. Thrawn Bon Jovi
196. Super Smash Thrawners
197. G.I. Thrawn
198. Thrawnsmack
199. Thrawn's Addiction
200. Thrawnout: A Post-Empire Roleplaying Game
201. Thrawno for Pyros
202. Camp Thrawny
203. Nine Inch Thrawns
204. Thrawngarden
205. Thrawny Cash
206. Thrawn Rambo
207. Rocky Thrawnboa
208. Thrawn Story 3
209. FrogsThrawn
210. Full Thrawntal
211. Thrawntispiece
212. Praying Thrawntis
     
213. Cali... where the hell was "Thrawntum of Solace"?
     
214. Requiem for a Thrawn (by lieden)
215. Thrawn Goes to Jail (by Cali)
     
216. Thrawn Goes to Camp
217. Saturday Night Thrawn
218. Blade Thrawner
219. You're the Thrawn That I Want
220. Thrawny Nut Loops
221. Bill's New Thrawn
222. Judy Blume's SuperThrawn
223. Thrawn Hell
     
224. Whose Thrawn is it Anyway?
225. The Young Thrawns
226. Pallaeon and Thrawn's Excellent Adventure
227. Sweet Grand Admiral Thrawn's Baddasssss Song
228. 228 Thrawns Later
229. Death of a Salesthrawn
     
230. Good Thrawns For People Who Love Bad Thrawns (by Cali)
     
231. Horton Hears a Thrawn
232. Nil By Thrawn
233. A Boy and His Thrawn
234. The Gospel of Thrawn
235. Appetite for Thrawnstruction
236. Thrawn Sreet
237. The Boondock Thrawns
238. Thrawns at Work
239. Loony Thrawns
240. Thrawn and Stimpy
241. Deep Thrawn
     
242. Tiny Thrawn Adventures
243. AniThrawniacs
244. Thrawnazoid
245. Pinky, Are You Thrawndering What I'm Thrawndering?
     
246. And Then Grand Admiral Thrawn Wept... Because There Were No More Worlds to Thrawnquer
247. Thawnsters Vs. Aliens
248. Jay and Grand Admiral Thrawn Strike Back
     
249. Thrawn Eyre
250. Thrawnheit 451
251. Thrawnza Motorsport 3
     
252. Featuring Henry Winkler as the Thrawnz
253. Thrawn and Mindy
254. Thrawnkie and Johnny
255. How to Have Thrawn Like a Thrawnstar
256. Thrawn Carvallo's Putting Challenge
     
257. Event HorizThrawn
258. Mortal Thrawnbat
259. Blue Thrawnday
     
260. Back to the Thrawnture, part Thrawn
     
261. Thrawns in the Outfield
262. Thrawndice
263. Alien Resurrects Thrawn
     
264. Thrawn-Claude Van Damme
265. Jean-Thrawn Van Damme
266. Jean-Claude Van Thrawn
267. Thrawn-Thrawn Thrawn Thrawn
268. Troopers! I Just Recieved New Thrawnders
269. Al-Thrawn Wake (by Mr Glow)
270. Robin Hood: Men in Thrawns
271. SpaceThrawns
272. Thrawnfall
273. Thrawnout: New Vegas
274. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Thrawn (another favourite of mine there)
275. King Thrawn
276. A Midsummer Night's Thrawn
277. Sam and Max: Beyond Thrawn and Space
278. Spider-Thrawn (captures Rebels, just like flies!)
279. Thrawny Wiseau's 'The Room' (Oh hai, Grand Admiral Thrawn!)
     
280. Star Wars: Knights of the Thrawn Republic
281. Star Wars: Knights of the Thrawn Republic II: The Sith Thrawns
282. Thrawn Effect
283. Thrawn Effect 2: Fight for the Thrawn
284. The Thrawnfather
285. Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Thrawn
286. Thrawnout: New Taris (by Cali)
287. The Thrawn Red Line
288. Tea With Thrawnsolini
289. The Alan Thrawnsons Project
290. Thrawn's World
291. Bothers in Thrawns
292. ThrawnWee's Big Adventure
293. I Got This Blaster at the Thrawn Shop
294. Thrawns and Generals
295. The Elder Scrolls III: Thrawnowind
296. Mystery Science Theater Thrawn-thousand
297. Thrawndog Millionaire
298. Thrawn-Hundred
299. Hidden Thrawntress
300. Thrawn Torino
     
301. The Many Faces of Thrawn
302. The Omega Thrawn (by Mr Glow)
303. Thrawn Dies At The End (My new favourite there)
     
304. Horatio Thrawnblower
305. The Fair Thrawn With Golden Locks
306. The Maltese Thrawncon
307. The Dresden Thrawns
308. The Acts of Thrawn
309. Halo: The Thrawn of Reach
310. Thrawn Carter of Mars
311. EraThrawn
312. The Thrawn Machine
313. The Man Who Was Thrawn
314. Thrawn Shrugged
315. Jesus Thrawn Superstar
316. Don't Be A Thrawn to South Central While You're Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (by Knightfall1138)
     

Do YOU know any words that rhyme - even slightly - with 'Thrawn'? Can you make a film or book title funny by replacing a noun with 'Thrawn'? If so, we want to hear from you!

I have EVERY faith we can make it to 1000 titles!


Thrawn.

Test of Metal: A Planeswalker Novel

Back in high school, you either played Yu-Gi-Oh! or Magic: The Gathering. There was no in between...mostly because the fans polarized to different rooms on opposite ends of the campus. At the time, I threw my hat in with Yu-Gi-Oh! and I was very, very happy with my decision. It had a cheesy TV show to go along with it, and the trap cards were fun to use every single time. It just never got old.

One day, my friend invited me to the school's Games Club: an after school thing where a Gamecube was usually set up, a game of D&D was going, and everyone else played Magic. It was sort of like getting invited to defect, only without all the hyperbole. My friend even paid my $5-10 signup fee, so I went and checked it out.

Of course, beyond the signup fee, the price of admission was also a Magic: The Gathering starter deck. I can't remember what it was composed of, or what I had even bought. I don't even remember buying it, but I did use it several times. And honestly, I don't remember liking it. In fact, I think I was back with the Yu-Gi-Oh! gang by the end of the month. What I do remember is why I didn't particularly care for it: I just couldn't get my mind around the lore. It just didn't make sense.

The key to a successful card game is to have a world built around it, almost like the worldbuilding you have to do for a fantasy story. It makes players feel closer to the game. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am, the lore for Magic was limited to the little descriptions on the cards. It just didn't do it for me. Maybe there was some auxiliary leaflets or books sitting around somewhere, but I never saw them.

It seems that's changed dramatically. The lore is now a ready part of the game, to the point where I'm actually starting to pick up on it from my friends, and I don't even play. For the most part, though, I'm still in the dark. But I am willing to change that; this is a Wizards of the Coast property, which means that I'll probably get into it, just like I have with a lot of their other products. And on October 5th, they're giving me the perfect opportunity.

Test of Metal: A Planeswalker Novel by Matthew Stover will be released next week, and I am all for giving this property a shot. I can't even...speculate on what this book will be about, since I know that little about it. My friend immediately told me "OMG, this is gonna be about Tezzerat! Neat!" to which I responded with, "Oh...kay." I have no idea what this is going to be about, but Matthew Stover's writing it, so I'll give it a shot. A fair shot.

The God of War adaptation left a bad taste in my mouth that still yet lingers, but I still have faith. Stover has shown that he can pull off an amazing story in a universe that he hasn't written for before. Traitor was book 13 in a 19 book series. They threw him in the middle of it with a book that had to reference twelve other books and set the stage for seven more. He's more than capable, and the Magic Universe seems like it's right up his alley. Additionally, he won't have to deal with a co-author or Sony.

So, we'll see. I'm keeping an open mind, but we'll see.

Test of Metal: A Planeswalker Novel

Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | BookDepository

Knight's Favs: Final Fantasy VII

At the time, I had only just gotten a Playstation One for my birthday, and it was like a whole new world was suddenly available to me. On T.V., they were constantly advertising this new-fangled game that looked so amazing it hurt, and that game was Final Fantasy VIII. I couldn't even tell by the commercials what it was about, but those amazing cutscenes told me that I had to have it.

I had told my mom about it, and she got back to me some time later saying that Best Buy had a copy of FFVIII on sale for $20. For a new game, that sounded like an amazing deal! I can't remember if my mom offered to pay for it or if I ponied up the cash, but either way I had a game in my hands by the end of the day. But...it wasn't Final Fantasy VIII. What had just happened (though, I couldn't have known it then) was THE greatest accidental purchase I would ever experience in my lifetime.

What I had in my hands was Final Fantasy VII. I looked at it, confused, and decided I'd rather have the next game up. My cousin, though, caught me before I did anything too hasty. He was a big Final Fantasy fan, and he assured me that if I gave that game a chance, I'd really like it. I didn't really believe him at the time, but the game had been on sale. So, I took that chance and opened it, discovering the three discs inside (that had amazed me so damn much).

I started the game, and was instantly put off by the graphics. This purple guy, Cloud was his name, looked worse off than Mario from Super Mario 64. But I kept going, and it slowly drew me in. The plot to take down that harmful reactor, the characters and how well-written they were, this crazy layered city called Midgar: it all kept getting better and better. Despite the fact that I was playing as Cloud, I had never felt so much a part of a different world before.

When I had reached Seventh Heaven for the first time, I was so hooked, it wasn't even funny. Being a part of AVALANCHE felt like being a part of a real disorganized family. I was so attached to every one of them...so you can imagine the shock I got later on. -.-

I can still remember a large majority of the story and how it evolved, even after all these years. Using dolphins to get into an army base, getting to a grand casino in the middle of nowhere, playing through those increasingly-disturbing flashbacks. Not to mention Cloud's transvestite adventure, which still ranks surprisingly high among my favorite moments in a video game.

And that fateful moment. You know which one I'm talking about.

One of my biggest regrets is that I was never able to finish the game. As you all know, memory cards were a fickle system back in those days, and it was very easy for your save data to get deleted if you weren't careful. And that's exactly what happened to my file. I wasn't aware a heart could break in such a way.

It saddens me that no subsequent Final Fantasy game has been able to match what FFVII did all of those years ago. They've since descended into this odd realm that favors ambiguity over strict storytelling, that objectifies women instead of allowing you to form an honest connection with them the way we all did with Aeris, that doesn't even allow you the option to roleplay anymore (I'm looking at you, FFXIII).

Final Fantasy VII indulged in things that no RPG would be caught dead doing these days. I specifically remember spending the night at Aeris's house and sneaking around in the middle of the night. Little things like that practically forced immersion, and made me feel like a part of a greater world, filled with people that I had gotten to know rather well, that I actually wanted to save. And that's a mistake that most RPGs make these days: They ask you to save the world, but they rarely provide one that you'd ever realistically see yourself risking your life for.

The moment Cloud and Company climbed that wall out of Midgar, I knew there was nowhere else I'd rather be.